When comfort doesn’t come

I struggle with being assertive.

Being nice? Having fun? Keeping things light and fluffy?

Welcome to my comfort zone or my discomfort zone, depending on the day.

Lysa TerKeurst says it best:

Having a comfort zone doesn’t mean you’re always comfortable.

I’m being stretched in this area at work. Accountability in the work place, especially for those of us in management positions, means holding meetings to discuss progress.

Guess who’s the bearer of bad news?

Yeah. Fun-loving Audra.

And most of the time it’s not terrible news. Managers are just trained to notice things that are not going well–and then come up with strategies for improvement.

I’ll be really honest with you. I have to pray a lot when receiving instruction and correction. When my thoughts are allowed to go off alone, I take it personally–and even my controlled thoughts find me vulnerable.

Receiving instruction with grace is always a choice I have to make.

This is one struggle that can send my emotions and relationships into a tailspin. One of my goals for next year is to deconstruct this area and come up with a battle plan.

IMG_1566For now, though, I’m sitting in a hard place. Things have gone wrong and all I can do is clean up the mess.

Can I give you some advice?

Don’t ignore warning signs.

Don’t put off conversations.

Pretending everything is okay, will be okay, can be okay is not helping.

Which brings me back to being assertive in the workplace…..

If management teaches you anything it’s how to conquer fear, especially when your fear pops up as a subject in a meeting about your personal performance.

Here’s what I’m learning as I face up to my insecurities about giving/receiving instruction and correction:

Dealing with a problem is always uncomfortable. Stop waiting for comfort to come along. It won’t.

Wrestling with the Truth

IMG_1694Who doesn’t love stories about go-getters who look adversity in the eyes and say, “I know you don’t believe in me, but I’m going to do it anyway”?

I know that I love to read about the tenacious efforts of other people.

Their lives are filled with adventure and learning. No amount of barriers or persecution will keep them from achieving their goals.

Are you excited yet? Can I get a hip, hip, hooray?

But there’s one person you don’t cheer loud enough for. One person who you think is limited or needs to be limited. One person who must not try unless success is guaranteed.

Yourself. Or, in my case, myself.

I’m not talking about becoming a pompous jerk who is self-absorbed.

I’m not talking about getting angry when others do well.

So what am I talking about then?

  • Allowing yourself to believe that you are talented, equipped, and able to do all the things God puts in your heart to do.
  • Allowing yourself to believe that now is the time to live your life.
  • Allowing yourself to try–even if you fail–and knowing that your efforts are not in vain.

Maybe I should just stick a Dear Audra at the front of this post and call it a day……

I struggle with these truths.

In the face of a great adventure with a greater purpose, I want to throw up. Knowing that all of the risk and work will result in a beautiful story, a God story, doesn’t make it any easier.

Remember what we talked about yesterday?

Following the voice of God does not always leave you comfortable.

But I would rather have holy discomfort than stay in any comfort zone I build for myself.

I want to be tenacious, but I need some help. Help from the Holy Spirit and help from you too.

All I need is a cup of coffee and a little perspective

I used to be a chipper morning person. My grumpier self told her to get lost.

My younger siblings do not care.

They are loud and boisterous and excited about the day–even if they don’t know what day it is.

“Audra, what day is it?” Caleb asks.

“It’s Tuesday,” I reply.

His response is normally something like:

“Yay! That means we get to ________” or “What are we going to do today?”

Maybe us grumpy adults should be more easily excitable.

We tend to see each day from a more practical, soul sucking point of view. I don’t think we mean to, though, but it’s easy to fall in line with our work hating, wish-it-was-the-weekend culture.

Last night my little brother–in his childlike wisdom–prayed the most beautiful blessing over our dinner.

“Dear God,

Thanks for having us today.

Thank you for dinner and this time with my family.”

Amen.”

Caleb thanked God for letting us live.

And the thunderbolt of conviction struck my heart….

IMG_1692Every breath, every day comes from God. Begrudging my life and all the things I “have to do” is a slap in God’s face.

I understand that we all have hardships and bad days, but our worst day–especially if you live in the West–is someone else’s best day.

The minor inconveniences of our life will not affect whether we live or die. With that in mind, you and I have very little to complain about.

This is not meant to be a guilt trip.

Just call it a good, old fashioned reality check.

Sure, you’re not a morning person but you can be a thankful–yet quiet–non-morning person.

Sure, money is tight but you have food, water, and shelter. A cancelled Netflix account or a month without cable will not kill you.

Perspective has a way of making us honest.

Thankfully overwhelmed

We all face busy days. 

The first of the month is especially busy for me. I have customers coming in and out of my office all day–on top of a pile of paperwork from the previous month to complete. 

Plus, today I was juggling getting my car to the shop. (There was a lot of moving parts to coordinate.)

On days like today, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. 

I know I was…

Not allowing temporary inconveniences to derail you from the bigger picture can be difficult. 

I encourage you to take a breath and count your blessings. 

You and I have a LOT to be thankful for. 

It’ll help you when the phone rings and a customer walks in and your boss wants you to dictate a letter–right now. 

Even in those moments, remember your blessings. 

1-800-RESPONSIBILITY

Today I watched someone fix my computer remotely.

Talk about a weird experience….

The technical support team logged onto my Teamviewer and started buzzing around my computer. Three people were logged on at the same time!

I know this isn’t mind blowing to most of you, but technology never ceases to amaze me. The first time I used dial up internet (yes, I remember dial up)  I thought I was launching a rocket ship.

Within 30 minutes, my problem was fixed–a problem that stopped me from sending out invoices for work.

Don’t you wish everything in life was like that?

Help, help!

I have a problem budgeting!

I have an anger problem!

I have trust issues!

No worries! Give me 30 minutes and everything will be better.

Life doesn’t work this way.

Easy fixes rarely solve the real problem.

99% of the time, I am the biggest problem in my life.

It’s no one’s fault but my own.

I understand there are outside factors, but responsibility–or the lack thereof–is the number one culprit of life’s problems.

Passing the blame is much easier than accepting responsibility.

Even this computer problem was my fault.

I should’ve called the technicians at the end of last week. They could’ve found the problem then.

I chose to put it off, shoving it to the bottom of my to-do list.

And it almost wrecked one of my busiest days at work!

So, yes, it was not my fault the computer was messed up, but it was my fault that the invoices weren’t emailed until this afternoon.

Here’s the take away:

  • Learning to accept responsibility is a pillar of good character.
  • If you’re not ready to accept responsibility, you’re not ready to receive more responsibility.

There’s no hotline to call to work on your character either.

It’s something that must be developed slowly–and sometimes painfully.

Building Windmills

Choices, choices

Choices, choices

Today I needed pens for my office and I had 518 options.

Not everyone has these kind of options.

In The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, William Kamkwamba built a windmill using parts from a junkyard. He did it without modern tools too. 

There were no trips to Lowe’s or Home Depot to agonize over 50 brands of hammers.

And William still managed to bring electricity to Malawi.

A whole country found hope because one boy got busy.

What could be accomplished if we stopped complaining about not having the right tools? The right education? The right job?

You can own 518 different pens and never write that book. A garage full of tools and never rebuild that classic car. harnessing wind

Are too many options crippling us as a people?

My circumstances will never be perfect enough to do ___________.

Yours won’t either.

As a kid, I rarely had a complete set of toys.

I collected toys from yard sales and thrift shops. I made my toys houses out of cardboard boxes.

Countless hours were spent weaving stories in my own little world.

What I had was enough. My imagination had no limits.

And then adulthood crashed my party.

“You’re an adult now. Play time’s over.” is something I’ve heard a lot since graduating college.

But I don’t want to spend half my life hating my life.

I’m willing to pay the price for doing things differently. It’s better, to me, than waking up one day and realizing I’ve been asleep for 50 years.

Which brings me back to having enough….

Here’s my favorite definition of contentment:

Contentment is knowing that I already have everything I need to be happy.

What I have–right now–is enough.

There’s nothing I can’t accomplish if I already have what I need.

It’s time for you and I to build some windmills.

Helping with a willing heart

I talk on the phone a lot at work. It’s not my most favorite thing to do, but it’s a big part of my job description.

I work as an office manager for a self-storage and property management company, so most of my calls are about rates and hours and such. Sometimes people call me to ask for recommendations for moving companies or even for other storage companies in the area.

I have actually learned quite a bit by helping these people.

It wasn’t until today, though, that I realized they were not doing any research before calling me–not even a quick Google search.

My first response was annoyance. What a waste of my time!

But, as I’ve sat down and thought about it, what does it hurt for me to help them?

Absolutely nothing.

In fact, as I mentioned earlier, helping them is really helping me.

Sure, they are most likely not going to use my business. And that’s okay! We are not suffering.

I added three new customers last week. Our numbers are very consistent even in the slow times.

Every industry on this planet is in the people business. Ignoring customer service is not an option.

Without people, all of the widgets we make and the services we offer are completely useless.

And yet we treat others like they are only distractions from our to-do list or merely rungs to the top of the corporate ladder.

I am convicted by my annoyance.

Who do I think I am?

Who do any of us think we are?

If you have no room in your schedule to help others–even if they do nothing to help you in return–you need to do some serious reevaluation of how you spend your time.

Note to Self: Avoid the Success Trap

Help Wanted: So, I need to up my game. Everyday blogging begins a month from tomorrow and I am not doing so hot in my practice round…..you guys hold me accountable, okay?


don't forgetI want to return to our Note to Self series and begin with an area where our worth is most attacked:

Our jobs.

Most of us spend 40 hours a week or more at our jobs. I know many people want to believe that work doesn’t matter. I understand the logic behind this thought. In the grand scheme of life, work is only one part of our identities.

However, I think anything that consumes 40+ hours of our time is important. Or should I say, because it’s a major time investment, our viewpoint about work is important.

I spend more time at my job than I do anywhere else. I can’t speak of any other region in America, but in the South having the right job title or working for a certain company is a big status symbol. Success is tied the company–not to you–so a lot is riding on where you work.

success exit

 A few months ago, I came face to face with this reality because a comment from a high school acquaintance of mine was relayed back to me. This friend is doing quite well and was asking how I was doing.

When told that I was working as an office manager, the friend was a bit shocked, “I thought Audra would be more successful than that. She was so smart in school!”

I also was in shock after hearing of this exchange, but for a totally different reason.

Why would I not be considered successful because I am working as an office manager?

Seriously. It’s a great job and has given me invaluable skills, which I can use for the rest of my life.

I decided to not step into the success trap at that moment. It was not an easy choice. My worth was on the line and I had to dig deep, calling on my courage to stand against the norm.  

success failure

The definition of success today is so skewed and so narrow that I refuse to be defined by it.

Here are two phrases that I want to eliminate:

I’m just a…..

and

I’m only a…..

Nothing good follows these phrases.

Stop measuring your worth by the status of “importance” your job receives from society. You are worth so much more than any artificial label can give you.

Customer Service Matters

Do you remember your first job? I do. My first “real” job was as a college recruiter.

The dreams that I had of reaching out to college students, seeing them choose my college…I was so excited. Never mind that I came into the job toward the end of the recruiting season. My numbers were going to be awesome!

I remember the first student that I recruited. The feeling of accomplishment was overwhelming. I gave that student and her family the royal treatment. No request was too big or small.

The same thrill comes to me anytime I sell a product online or at my booth. “They chose me!” I think, “What can I do to help them further?”

A satisfied customer is akin to a drug high for me. Presenting a product. Closing a deal. What could be better?

I never want to lose this excitement.

Going back to my time as a college recruiter, I realize that I wasn’t the best. My colleagues were way ahead of me in their numbers. But I know that the students I recruited received the best of my time and effort.

Many businesses are too focused on the end goal: meeting their quota. Customers become another tick mark instead of being treated as an invaluable asset. Lots of my business colleagues are on straight commission. They’re often much better at grasping the importance of people to their success.

Comfy, unseasoned “professionals” are the only ones silly enough to ignore the value of great customer service. Maybe a few months of bologna sandwiches and Vienna sausages will wake them up.

The entire economy is in the people business. Clever sales techniques and fancy websites will only take you so far.

A high level of customer service–a great respect for other people–is key.