On my silence

I’ve taken somewhat of a sabbatical from blogging the last six months or so. (With the exception of posts for Rhema every now and then because I’m the student blogger.)

Writing everyday was supposed to help me find my voice. And it did a great job of developing my follow through muscles, which were disgracefully atrophied at the time. 

I am truly grateful for that sweet season. It was necessary and life-giving and a ton of fun. 

 At almost 27, though, it seems that the journey to find my voice, my path, has me in the thickest patch of woods right now. All scratched up, running into branches and scary spiderwebs (the kind you don’t see until it’s too late). 

And whenever I write, I have this habit of spinning things to show only the rosy side of life. I discovered in one of my classes this year on personality types that  this trait is quite common amongst folks with my personality type. 

It serves me well 90% of the time. I can’t help but see the good and in this dark world that’s a true gift. 

However, when your own path is dim and you can’t find your way, tripping over your own feet, it’s hard to add a positive spin. 

Not just hard but exhausting. You feel dishonest and unsure what to do with yourself and words that are rosy but not really true. 

So I took some time off. This summer I want to hop back in to more frequent  writing. 

Still not sure what it will look like but I didn’t know the first time around either! 

Thanks for sticking around and understanding. Ready for a new adventure? So am I. 

Farewell to 25

Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new adventure–Year 26.

I’ve already shared my goals with you, so now I just want to recap what happened last year:

  • I was working as an office manager
  • Serving the deaf at 2 churches and a school
  • Making the decision to leave Alabama again to head out to Rhema
  • Falling in love with missions
  • Writing for this blog everyday
  • My heart was steadily being changed by this radical notion that following Jesus was never meant to be a Sunday only affair 

I am so blessed and humbled by everything that happened which brought me to right here, sitting on my couch, in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. 

25, you’ve been good to me. Now it’s time to start out on my next adventure. 

Helping with Media

I got to run camera for the first time today. The media department didn’t really teach me to swim–they just threw me into the pool! 

And it was awesome!

I observed Sunday morning and evening. Someone showed me the basics of how to run the camera before the evening service, but that was it. 

Today the supervisor walked me through step by step–through my headphones–how to set up the different kinds of shots.

What was strange was to look up at the big screens and see that my shot could be seen by everyone…

Whoa! 

Plus, I did a lot of zoom shots (kind of like panoramic action shots) which was seen by everyone on watching online. 

I look forward to learning more and more about running camera because it’s a valuable skill that helps ministries get the gospel message spread around the world.

Remember what I told you a few days ago? 

I’m not against the use of technology in the church.

Just go to church and get involved yourself! 

Then listen to podcasts and watch the sermons again on YouTube.

I listen to teachings all the time at work. And today I paid particular attention to the quality of the video and the kind of shots being used. 

Kinda cool to think that one day a sermon that I helped record will be online for someone else to watch.

No one will know it was me who helped, but I’ll know. God will know, too, which is all that matters anyway. 

 

 

This Ordinary Adventure

Aren’t we all afraid of being normal? 

If someone calls you normal, they might as well say, “You are the most boring person I know.”

At least, that’s how it feels because who doesn’t want to be known as a wandering, wondering, unpredictable world changer?   I just finished This Ordinary Adventure by Christine and Adam Jeske, which answers that question. 

Adam and Christine served as missionaries to Nicarauga, China, and South Africa before moving back to Wisconsin with their 2 children. 

They wondered if moving back to America was “settling” for a mediocre life. 

I enjoyed how the book switched back and forth between their two perspectives. 

If you find yourself struggling in this area, I think this book will be helpful. 

Fun Family Visit

I had a good time visiting with my dad, stepmom, and the kids today.  

They came to town for a funeral and we spent Monday night and Tuesday afternoon together. 

Our friends, Tim and Carolyn Clark, ate dinner with us on Monday night and then spent spent time with us before they headed to the airport. 

When the Clarks left, us adults hung out and talked before surprising the kids with a trip to the movie theater to see Kung Fu Panda 3. 

After the movie, we enjoyed a quiet dinner followed by more talking and some family worship around the piano. 

I was sad as I said goodbye to everyone. 

However, I know in my heart that I’m supposed to be at Rhema. Tulsa, Oklahoma is my home for now, and I am excited about all that is ahead of me. 

This knowledge doesn’t make me any less sad–I miss my family and friends back  in Alabama–but it definitely helps me keep going in the midst of bittersweet moments. 

I came home at the end of the visit and looked around at my new reality, the path that is mine and mine alone to walk. 

Good things are ahead. 

I am so thankful to God for this journey. 

And I am so thankful for family and friends who encourage me to go on great adventures with God. 

When everyday is an adventure

  My dad comes home tomorrow!

We’re all so excited to see him and hear about his adventures in Mexico. 

My dad’s taught me a lot about the spirit of adventure. He’s the kind of man who sees life as the greatest adventure of all. 

And this attitude goes beyond the mission field:

  • Running errands with him becomes completing a top secret mission. 
  • Working in the yard is like hacking through the bush. 

His ability to make mundane tasks fun is the reason big projects aren’t a chore. 

I’m trying to be more like him in this area. My “hurry up and mark things off the list” mentality can keep me from enjoying my work in the process. 

My dad’s company–even when he’s not directly helping me–brightens my mood while I work. 

There are many reasons I miss my dad, but his fun loving attitude about everyday tasks is one of them. 

Hurry up and get home, Dad! Nothing’s the same when you’re not around. 

I know where I’m going

IMG_1694Many times the Lord gives me direction through dreams. I think of it like a road map.

“Audra, this is where you are headed.”

With a dream, though, comes the knowledge that staying stuck is not possible. You cannot decide to camp out on the side of the road when you need to be moving forward.

I find myself facing some situations where running away would be so easy. (I think by now my vulnerability issues are well known.)

During these tough times, I yell–I mean, pray–to the Lord.

He’s given me permission to be 100% honest with him. His exact words were, “I know your heart anyway, so stop hiding.”

God has seen the angelic side of me and the grumpy side of me. My prayer is that as I follow Him, Angel Audra shows up more and more. (Think halo not being held up by horns.)

Do you know where He takes me at the end of each conversation?

My dreams.

Remember, Audra, where you are going. Don’t settle for anything less than where I am sending you.

All of my tantrums are ruined by God.

I am pouting and angry and God just laughs. And HIs laughter is like a whack from a belt.

Then I remember my dream.

I’m such a hard headed brat……..

When God shows you something don’t let go. Take it and run. Let that hope be an anchor for your soul. Nothing will motivate you more than a glimpse of where God’s taking you.  

And no worries if you find yourself camping out either. God will help you pack back up and keep moving.