Heart language matters

I saw the importance of communication today.

For many years, Mr. and Mrs. Lee have rented a storage unit whenever they move.

Mrs. Lee is deaf.

I remember the first time I met them, which was the first month I started working at Storage Depot (before I started learning sign language). My boss had to write back and forth with Mrs. Lee about pricing and unit sizes.

heart languageFast forward to now, 11 months into my learning sign language. I was able to interpret for Mrs. Lee and she came to life! She talked and talked! It was so cool to see the power of communication in action.

Knowing someone’s heart language is important, especially when you’re on the mission field.

Each of us was born with an innate desire to be known and understood. Language barriers are the biggest deterrents to connection.

I’ve received a TON of help from the deaf community because week after week I show up and try. Even when I completely mess up, my friends kindly and gently encourage me and teach me the right way. Who could guess that my bumbling efforts would be so well received? I certainly didn’t expect it!

For many of my deaf friends, though, their own parents never made an effort to learn sign language. One of my friend’s mom started learning sign once my friend was grown. As my friend shared the story with me, there were tears in her eyes.

“This is what I’ve always wanted.”

Heart language matters. If you want to make an impact learn a culture’s heart language.

And this is true of any culture–not just deaf culture.

So, for all of my friends who feel drawn to a certain country or culture, take this advice from someone who has seen the difference: Language is key.

A little man and his guitar

My little brother is a future rock star. 

I believe he’s destined to play the guitar. Ever since he was old enough to toddle around, Courage has been drawn to the guitar. 

He plays air guitar all the time and loves any kind of guitar music (which is basically all music).

My family went to a get together at a friend’s house and there was a band. Courage instantly ran over to the group and that’s where he stayed. 

  
His enthusiasm reminds me of the proverb “Train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6). 

A parent’s (and family’s) job is to watch their kids and to encourage them to pursue their God given interests. 

Pay attention to the kids in your life. See if you can notice their passions and desires. 

  

Birthday Wishes to a Great Friend

bffl faveI’m going to do something completely cheesy today.

This blog post is dedicated to my friend, Bethany Fletcher, in honor of her birthday.

We met in college and became friends instantly….NOT!

In fact, I remember the time she told me that the first time we hung out in a big group she went to her room and cried. She also used to lock the door on her side of our Jack and Jill style bathroom suite.

Eventually, though, she and I realized (and began to appreciate) all of the individual qualities that make us both awesome. christmas friends

Bethany taught me about many things, but for some I am eternally grateful:

  1. Fashion–thanks for helping me get past dressing like a granny.
  2. Music–my previous musical tastes involved a lot of Reba and Patsy Cline. I’m still their number one fan, but my musical taste has broadened–a lot.
  3. Blogging–if it wasn’t for Bethany, I would not be a blog lover today.
  4. Encouragement–this chick has walked with me and encouraged me through some pretty dark times. She’s also slapped me back into reality, but it’s always followed by a hug.
  5. Jesus–Bethany’s friendship with our Savior is out of this world. Seriously. I’ve always looked to her example in how to live, love, and serve Jesus.

Bethany, I hope you’re okay with me dedicating a whole blog post to you. It’s just that you know I’m horrible at sending out cards…..but I do want you to know that I am thankful for your friendship.

bffl pumpkinHappy Birthday, BFFL!

I hope that your 26th year is awesome.

Know that my thoughts and prayers are always with you and, of course, Mr. Fletcher.

Perfectionism is a choice

IMG_1566If perfection is unattainable, why do we keep striving for it?

Nothing will ever be perfect. The sooner you and I realize this simple truth, the sooner you and I can enjoy our beautiful, yet messy, lives.

Social media is filled with “inspirational” quotes and pictures about how no one is perfect. Thank you, Captain Obvious, this is not news.

Or is it?

Our obsession with warning others about the trap of perfectionism is an indication that many of our friends and family really believe it’s an obtainable goal.

And this is coming from a girl who knows its a trap and frequently makes the insane choice to walk right in it….

Notice, though, what I said: I know it’s a trap and I choose to step in it.

It’s time to get honest.

We all know that perfection is unobtainable, but continue to chase after it.

Maybe what we need is for our friends and family to say, “Stop it!” instead of hearing another inspirational message about embracing the messiness of life.

So, my sweet friends, I think it’s time for us to make a few changes. In order to do that, though, we’ll need to acknowledge the facts:

  1. You will never be perfect.
  2. Life can be hard and unfair.

Now, let’s look at those facts from the gospel’s perspective:

  1. Perfection was never an option. If we could be perfect, we wouldn’t need a Savior. Jesus lived the perfect life and then gave us all the wonderful benefits that go along with it.
  2. Even though life is not fair, we have God’s promises on our side. Everything–both fair and unfair–must work together for our good. Those are some great odds when faced with a challenge.

If you struggle with perfectionism, know that I understand your struggle because it’s my own.

My only request is that you be proactive in your efforts to avoid the trap. In the end, it’s your responsibility to make the necessary changes.

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Wrestling with the Truth

IMG_1694Who doesn’t love stories about go-getters who look adversity in the eyes and say, “I know you don’t believe in me, but I’m going to do it anyway”?

I know that I love to read about the tenacious efforts of other people.

Their lives are filled with adventure and learning. No amount of barriers or persecution will keep them from achieving their goals.

Are you excited yet? Can I get a hip, hip, hooray?

But there’s one person you don’t cheer loud enough for. One person who you think is limited or needs to be limited. One person who must not try unless success is guaranteed.

Yourself. Or, in my case, myself.

I’m not talking about becoming a pompous jerk who is self-absorbed.

I’m not talking about getting angry when others do well.

So what am I talking about then?

  • Allowing yourself to believe that you are talented, equipped, and able to do all the things God puts in your heart to do.
  • Allowing yourself to believe that now is the time to live your life.
  • Allowing yourself to try–even if you fail–and knowing that your efforts are not in vain.

Maybe I should just stick a Dear Audra at the front of this post and call it a day……

I struggle with these truths.

In the face of a great adventure with a greater purpose, I want to throw up. Knowing that all of the risk and work will result in a beautiful story, a God story, doesn’t make it any easier.

Remember what we talked about yesterday?

Following the voice of God does not always leave you comfortable.

But I would rather have holy discomfort than stay in any comfort zone I build for myself.

I want to be tenacious, but I need some help. Help from the Holy Spirit and help from you too.

Thank your pastor

Pastors have a tough job. 

They are called to shepherd God’s church, which is kind of like herding cats….

It doesn’t help that everyone has a different idea of what a pastor’s role is supposed to be. 

And they have to work hard to stay off the pedestal their church members want him or her to stay on. 

Here’s a funny video by The Skit Guys that highlights their daily struggle:

Be sure to thank your pastor tomorrow. 

They need your encouragement–not your criticism. 

A Sunday Challenge

Do hard things. 

I know it’s not fun or easy, but doing hard things builds muscle. 

You know from earlier posts that I’m not a big fan of vulnerability. 

It’s a scary $5 word that means allowing yourself to show others your true thoughts and feelings–not the “No, really I’m fine” when things get tough. 

To use one of my step mom’s favorite quotes, “It’s like wearing your socks in the shower.”

Being vulnerable will not–I repeat–will not always be comfortable. 

I’m not talking about the no boundaries kind of life either because people who embrace vulnerability have well defined boundaries. 

I learned that from Dr. Brene Brown, a leading researcher and author on vulnerability. We talked about her book Rising Strong awhile back. 

So, this week I encourage you to do hard things. 

Be willing to embrace vulnerability. 

Write back and tell me how it goes. I’ll do the same, okay? 

Next Sunday we’ll talk about this subject again. 

Put the matches down

Integrity is what you do when no one’s watching. 

My 8th grade English teacher, Ms. Blackmon, taught me that definition. 

She gave us an example too. 

You’re all alone on a stretch of country road late at night. You approach a red light and no one’s around. Do you run it? Or wait for it to turn green? 

Your decision, she said, is the true measure of your integrity. 

This little story has always stuck with me. During times of temptation I catch myself. 

What about my integrity?

We’ve all had friends and family fail–and not the ones we expected either. 

They were so nice!

Their lives seemed so perfect!

What you do, who you are when no one’s looking really matters. 

I think that’s why sincerity is such a hot commodity these days. 

“Just be real,” we say, “Be honest about your struggles.”

I’m all for it too! Goodness knows that I screw up a lot. 

But we need to be careful. 

Asking others to be sincere means we can’t burn them at the stake.

This is true when a friend or relative makes a mistake or even expresses an opinion that differs from your own. 

Self-righteous witch hunts are what drive people to wear masks. 

The root of integrity–and all good character for that matter–starts when no one’s looking. 

Maturity is a process, so don’t hide your struggles. 

And, lastly, don’t be so quick to strike a match. 

Karaoke and Creativity

I am a BIG fan of karaoke.

Ask my friends.

There’s no “I’m only going to sing one song” with me. I put 5 songs in the hat and ask that the Dr. Peppers keep coming.

I enjoy karaoke because no one is concerned with perfection.

You will not sound just like Ed Sheeran or Taylor Swift. And that’s okay!

Of course, being able to carry a tune helps, but no one is disappointed if you can’t.

Ready to sing?

Ready to sing?

I know there are other karaoke lovers out there.

Even for those of who wouldn’t sing karaoke for a million dollars, I know you sing in the shower or in the car.

We all need a creative outlet and that’s why everyone loves music.

There’s a reason bands have the biggest tribes in the world.

“Look at them,” we think, “they get to do what they love for a living.”

I wish school and work was more like karaoke night at the local greasy spoon. More people would be willing to be creative, to put themselves out there.

Everyone is creative. There is no exception.

But many of us are afraid to write, to sing, to dance, to paint–whatever it is you do.

Maybe someone laughed at you.

Maybe your parents discouraged you.

Maybe a teacher called you dumb.

Critics are everywhere and they want you to stay small. Most of the time, though, it has nothing to do with you. They want you to stay small because their dreams were crushed or they’re jealous.

I want to encourage you to stop hiding. Don’t be afraid to show up.

Take some advice from a karaoke lover: Sing your hardest. Quit trying to be perfect.

Things left unsaid

Many times I’ve felt bad because I needed to shut up and I didn’t.

Why did I say that?

Why can’t I keep my big mouth shut?

If you want to meet a connoisseur of crow, look no further. It goes great with a big slice of humble pie.

But, more often than not, my regret comes from a different place:

Why didn’t I say anything?

When I look back, there’s a lot of things I wanted to say. The words died on my tongue.

I wish now that I still had my childhood journals because I wrote down all of my rebuttals–after the fact.On paper, I was the most self-confident, well spoken person.

My battle with rejection kept me from saying much. It was easier, I believed, to not say anything at all than to lose a relationship–even if the relationship was unhealthy.

This obsession with not being rejected didn’t lead to greater acceptance. It only led to more loneliness.

I honestly believed that being a doormat was my best choice.

Each time a muddy boot plowed over me, I took that pain and buried it deep, but you can only bury things for so long.

Stuffing emotions is a lot like taking trash to a landfill. The hole is deep but it fills up to overflowing fast. No matter how much you pack the trash down, there comes a time when full is full.

I encourage you to not remain silent. I understand that confrontation is not easy. Not standing up for yourself, though, only leads to frustration and regret.

What you have to say is important.

You are important.

It’s time to take off your “Wipe Your Paws” t-shirt.