struggles

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Time to Get Honest

 Let me be the first to say that I’m the queen of Fine-and-Okay Land. When something’s not fine and okay, the LAST thing I want to do is talk about it. 

So I won’t–if I’m not pushed.

Sharing our stories, our struggles, is not always fun or easy. 

But I honestly believe that the reason most of us never move past the past, especially Christians, is because we never allow ourselves to be fully known, we never share our struggles.

Of course, I’m not advocating running around sharing the most intimate details of our lives with complete strangers. I’m assuming (this might be a big leap) that we all are aware that healthy boundaries are vital. 

And here’s the moment I get really honest…

Most Christians destroy any opportunity to keep a conversation going. 

Let me demonstrate:

Me: How are you doing today?

Hat Lady: I’m blessed and highly favored, the head and not the tail, above and not beneath…

Me: Oh…my day stunk.

The conversation just died right there.

Yes, Christians are all of the things Hat Lady just said. I firmly and fully believe it.

Though, how are we going to encourage an atmosphere of openness in our churches when the conversation dies in less than 5 seconds? 

If the desire of our heart is to have a church overflowing with hurting and broken people, we need to be more honest and become better listeners.

Isn’t this the cry of every church? To be filled with broken hearted people who need Jesus to rock their worlds?

Here’s what I’m not saying: Stay stuck in your past. Always talk about it and never change. 

Jesus Christ can and will redeem and restore you no matter how broken you are.

This doesn’t change the fact that broken hearts take time to heal.

What better place to heal than in a loving family of fellow believers who are committed to listening and helping each other move toward the best God has for us?

 

 

 

 

 

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An amazing and sustaining grace

Many of the bloggers I enjoy following are so bold. They take fierce stands on hard topics and ride the criticism like surfers ride waves.

I’ve deleted everything 5 times today.200 words here, 150 words there. The thought of hitting publish made me queasy.

Playing it safe is a hard trap to escape.

How many times have we talked about being bold? Being unafraid? Not hiding?

Your fearless leader was a coward today.

She cried over what to make for dinner. Seriously. This happened. When told to put something together for dinner I freaked out. The need for approval and the fear of rejection collided in the perfect storm.

Over dinner.

Today is not the first time I’ve struggled with words and dinner either. Today is simply the first time I’ve had the courage to talk about it.

Dear Friends,

I have a hard time making choices without a plan and saying things without fearing the opinions of others.

Sincerely,

Tired-of-being-scared Audra

Yesterday I talked about Bold Christians vs. Sissy Christians. (Insert face palm.)

Sorry about that…

I strongly agree with what I said, but you need to read today’s post for a much needed addendum.

It’s hard to be a Bold Christian when you cry over dinner planning. (This is what’s been haunting me all day.)

But remember what I said about grace for the lost?

Grace is for Christians too. There are no double standards with Jesus.

Look at Romans 5:

10 For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. 11 And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

If grace and love is available while we were sinners, grace and love will sustain us even more when we become Christians.

Learning how to extend grace to yourself can be hard. We see our fallacies and failures so clearly. Remember, though, that grace gives us new vision–for others and for ourselves.

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Put the matches down

Integrity is what you do when no one’s watching. 

My 8th grade English teacher, Ms. Blackmon, taught me that definition. 

She gave us an example too. 

You’re all alone on a stretch of country road late at night. You approach a red light and no one’s around. Do you run it? Or wait for it to turn green? 

Your decision, she said, is the true measure of your integrity. 

This little story has always stuck with me. During times of temptation I catch myself. 

What about my integrity?

We’ve all had friends and family fail–and not the ones we expected either. 

They were so nice!

Their lives seemed so perfect!

What you do, who you are when no one’s looking really matters. 

I think that’s why sincerity is such a hot commodity these days. 

“Just be real,” we say, “Be honest about your struggles.”

I’m all for it too! Goodness knows that I screw up a lot. 

But we need to be careful. 

Asking others to be sincere means we can’t burn them at the stake.

This is true when a friend or relative makes a mistake or even expresses an opinion that differs from your own. 

Self-righteous witch hunts are what drive people to wear masks. 

The root of integrity–and all good character for that matter–starts when no one’s looking. 

Maturity is a process, so don’t hide your struggles. 

And, lastly, don’t be so quick to strike a match.