purpose

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Defining enough

You are enough and you have enough. 

I just summarized half of the self-help books in the world. 

We struggle with the concept of enough. 

“I’m not _________ enough.”

Fill in the blank with the first thing that pops in your mind. 

I bet this thought is the biggest obstacle for you. 

The Lord’s been challenging me with seeing the truth: 

  • Everything I need to be content, to be fulfilled is already in me. 
  • Everything I need to live, serve, and follow Him is already in me. 

I am enough. 

I have enough. 

The scarcity mentality is wrecking our lives. 

Chasing enough is like chasing the wind. You’ll always be empty handed. 

You’ll also be lonely. 

There’s not much time to build relationships when you’re on the hunt for enough. 

Some Christian circles talk about operating out of lack or being plagued by a spirit of poverty. 

Others talk about the American Dream myth. 
However you want see it, we need to wrestle with this bear. 

Does your definition of success, of enough leave you feeling empty?

If so, what needs to shift in your thinking? 

Get ready for a fight because what you discover will not line up with our culture today. 

I really believe, though, that changing your view of enough will change your life. 

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No is an answer too

no!

No!

NO!

I have a hard time with this word–even though I can scream it in my head forever.

Instead I say:

Sure.

I can work that in.

Let me think about it.

Why is it so hard to say no?

For me, it goes back to rejection. The word “no” means that someone might not like you.

But not saying no also means that I often do things I don’t want to do.

Being a Yes Man or a Yes Woman doesn’t make you the most awesome person on the planet. It makes you a pushover, a doormat.

No is an answer too.

In fact, part of setting healthy boundaries is learning the when, where, and how of no.

I say no when:

  • Something doesn’t align with my values.
  • I’m already stretched too thin.
  • I need to disappoint the right people–i.e. my third cousin’s husband’s uncle as opposed to my best friend.

And, in case you’re wondering, saying no does not make you selfish.

This is the biggest lie in the world when it comes to boundaries.

You’re not selfish for saying no!

There are times I’ve had to stick to my guns.

If it’s not moving me forward, the answer is no.

If it goes against my faith, the answer is no.

Some things cannot be negotiated.

The right to say “no” is being challenged in America.

We need to figure this out.

Yes and no applies to everyone. Period.

Just remember that your actions must line up with your answers.

Screaming no and living yes makes you two-faced.

I want to end by quoting my Savior, Jesus Christ (since He’s the one most of us claim to follow):

 “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37).

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Karaoke and Creativity

I am a BIG fan of karaoke.

Ask my friends.

There’s no “I’m only going to sing one song” with me. I put 5 songs in the hat and ask that the Dr. Peppers keep coming.

I enjoy karaoke because no one is concerned with perfection.

You will not sound just like Ed Sheeran or Taylor Swift. And that’s okay!

Of course, being able to carry a tune helps, but no one is disappointed if you can’t.

Ready to sing?

Ready to sing?

I know there are other karaoke lovers out there.

Even for those of who wouldn’t sing karaoke for a million dollars, I know you sing in the shower or in the car.

We all need a creative outlet and that’s why everyone loves music.

There’s a reason bands have the biggest tribes in the world.

“Look at them,” we think, “they get to do what they love for a living.”

I wish school and work was more like karaoke night at the local greasy spoon. More people would be willing to be creative, to put themselves out there.

Everyone is creative. There is no exception.

But many of us are afraid to write, to sing, to dance, to paint–whatever it is you do.

Maybe someone laughed at you.

Maybe your parents discouraged you.

Maybe a teacher called you dumb.

Critics are everywhere and they want you to stay small. Most of the time, though, it has nothing to do with you. They want you to stay small because their dreams were crushed or they’re jealous.

I want to encourage you to stop hiding. Don’t be afraid to show up.

Take some advice from a karaoke lover: Sing your hardest. Quit trying to be perfect.

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Things left unsaid

Many times I’ve felt bad because I needed to shut up and I didn’t.

Why did I say that?

Why can’t I keep my big mouth shut?

If you want to meet a connoisseur of crow, look no further. It goes great with a big slice of humble pie.

But, more often than not, my regret comes from a different place:

Why didn’t I say anything?

When I look back, there’s a lot of things I wanted to say. The words died on my tongue.

I wish now that I still had my childhood journals because I wrote down all of my rebuttals–after the fact.On paper, I was the most self-confident, well spoken person.

My battle with rejection kept me from saying much. It was easier, I believed, to not say anything at all than to lose a relationship–even if the relationship was unhealthy.

This obsession with not being rejected didn’t lead to greater acceptance. It only led to more loneliness.

I honestly believed that being a doormat was my best choice.

Each time a muddy boot plowed over me, I took that pain and buried it deep, but you can only bury things for so long.

Stuffing emotions is a lot like taking trash to a landfill. The hole is deep but it fills up to overflowing fast. No matter how much you pack the trash down, there comes a time when full is full.

I encourage you to not remain silent. I understand that confrontation is not easy. Not standing up for yourself, though, only leads to frustration and regret.

What you have to say is important.

You are important.

It’s time to take off your “Wipe Your Paws” t-shirt.

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One Uppers and Comparisons

We’ve all told a story and had someone pull a one up.

I’ve told a one up story or two or twenty….

It’s something that I am more conscious of now as I hang out with friends because there’s nothing worse than being one upped.

No one likes a One Upper either.

Here’s an example:

My first bass

My first bass

I went fishing this summer and caught two (small) large mouth bass–my first–along with a few brim and trash fish. It was a big deal for me! I was excited. Pictures were taken and hoorahs were shared with my family.

A few days later, I told an acquaintance about the trip.

“That’s nothing. I’ve caught 25 fish during one trip.”

My first catfish

My first catfish (It was a baby)

I had to admit their story was better.

Fishing is something I enjoy, but I’m not very good at it. I could’ve caught a lot of fish that day. However, my dead cat like reflexes, combined with being distracted by the beauty of the scene around me, meant that many fish passed me by (after eating my bait, of course).

I was still proud, though, of my two fish.

My conversation ended like this:

“Wow. It sounds like you had a great time. I’m pretty sure I haven’t caught 25 fish in my lifetime. But I am proud of my haul. I had fun too.”

Remember how I told you perfectionism is the enemy?

Comparison is an enemy too.

Someone will always be bigger, better, prettier, more talented, and smarter than you.

But what the world needs is for you to show up.

There’s only one ____________ (insert your name here).

You are special.

I know it’s easy to forget–I do it all the time!

Some days it feels like I’m the most average, boring person in the world.

But that is not true.

Put your measuring stick away.

You are special.

You are enough.

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Necessary pit stops

I’m a sucker when it comes to good lyrics.

Every song has a meaning–no matter what folks say otherwise. I’m much more forgiving about the music if the lyrics are compelling.

If a song is stuck in my head, I pull up the lyrics and read through them. Many times there’s a lesson I need to learn.

I know that meditation is a five dollar word, but it’s important.

Meditate means:

  • to focus one’s thoughts
  • to engage in contemplation or reflection

Many of us meditate all the time without realizing it.

IMG_1694Ever sat down and thought of a problem from every possible angle? Ever intensely studied a passage of scripture or literature?

That’s meditation.

I spent today meditating on song lyrics because I had a song stuck in my head.

We all need to meditate, to focus, on the important aspects of our life.

The best seasons of growth come from times of serious meditation.

Our fast paced society, though, doesn’t want you to slow down, to think.

Be impulsive! Make a rash decision!

I’ve never met anyone whose said: The key to a successful life is never slowing down, never stopping to think things through.

My meditation face...

My meditation face…

I’m learning that maintaining a fast paced lifestyle doesn’t mean I’m successful or even fulfilled. All it means is that I know how to fill up my calendar with activities.

Some people say that meditation is a waste of time, but a schedule with no margin, no breathing room, costs you double the time.

I’ve never regretted the time I’ve taken to figure things out, to explore the whys.

There’s nothing wrong with pulling off the road to check your map. Stopping for a minute is better than needlessly going 100 miles off course.

And that’s all meditation is: a necessary pit stop.

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Trophy collecting is a bad hobby

I played Little League baseball as a kid and I was terrible.

Right field was where I belonged because that’s what you do with a seven year old girl with no athletic ability whose stepdad happened to be the coach.

Every season I got a trophy–even though I didn’t deserve one.

TrophyMy skills didn’t improve the one year I played softball either.

Every game my coach told me the same thing when it was my turn to bat: Take one for the team. 

So I would stand at the plate, let the softball hit me, and then walk to first base.

My only prayer was that the ball wouldn’t hit me in the spot that was bruised from the week before.

As terrible as I was, I still received a trophy…

And don’t get me started about my one year of girl’s basketball.

My only contribution to the team was scoring the winning shot for the other team, but I still received a trophy…

It would be foolish for me to display all of those trophies today, wouldn’t it? And yet that’s exactly what we do with our lives.

We are so proud of accomplishments that mean absolutely nothing.

I kill it at Candy Crush. I’m the top scorer in the Game Center! That has to count for something, right?

If you really want a trophy, go to a garage sale. They’re a dime a dozen.

If it’s a life of meaning you’re after, that requires a bit more effort.

Find something you love and get to work.

Quit flirting with mediocrity at the water cooler.

Get busy!

Yes, seasons of hard work–and even failure–will come as a result.

But I promise you that the rewards you do receive won’t end up in a garage sale.

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Defining Moments

Here’s the dream that inspired my logo.


My parents and I were struggling to navigate the sea of changes. We all hopped into the journey feet first but we continued asking the Lord for direction.

And then my stepmom had a dream…

My parents were explorers on a hunt for treasure. An older explorer journeyed with them but could only take them so far.

Out in the bush, a lot of obstacles stood in their way. They continued searching, knowing the treasure was worth it.

The treasure turned out to be a jewel covered shovel. It was indeed a valuable–yet useful–tool that required protection and skillful handling.

The older explorer then gave the shovel to my parents, explaining that they were now  its guardians.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I am the shovel. 

The Lord gave the dream to my family because it painted a clear picture of how He viewed our situation.

The dream has been an anchor for us as He continues to reveal the plans and purposes He has for our family. 

Next week, I will share more on how this dream continues to shape my thinking.

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A fugitive’s life

I went to school with a boy who never talked. It’s not that he couldn’t talk because I know that he could (a few times in class he would answer a question). He just didn’t want to talk.

He also never ate lunch.

I sat across from him everyday and watched him do homework as I ate my federally mandated portions. A friend of mine made it her personal mission to get him to talk. It never worked. He did, though, laugh at her jokes. She was quite funny.

I asked him to sign my yearbook and, to my surprise, he did!

“I shall maintain my silence.”

That’s all he wrote.

Everything about him was a mystery to me.

He was a genius who won a full paid ride to college….

He was an artist who wouldn’t participate in the senior art show….

He didn’t even come to graduation….

So many things to not know.

My biggest question is why.

Why was he hiding?

When you boil his actions down, that’s all he was doing.

He was full of potential; He had no reason to hide.

I have to ask myself the same question too.

Why am I hiding?

We all need to answer this question.

Why do we hide our dreams?

Why do we play it safe?

Why do we stay small?

I always wanted to ask that boy why, but I never wanted to ask myself.

And that’s because the answers reveal the fears I never wanted to face.

Until now.

I used to be a fugitive, running away from my own life….

I’m tired of hiding.

I am answering the questions–even when it’s painful–and slowly finding my way.

What about you?

It’s time to stop hiding, to stop living a fugitive’s life.

Answer the hard questions.

Stop running and start living.

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Note to Self: Remembering What’s Important

don't forgetI leave a paper trail wherever I go.

Sticky notes, notebooks, Evernote….I have to capture ideas, tasks, and all other vital information down as fast as I can or it flies out of my brain.

And I think the biggest reminder we need is about our worth.

Many of us go through life feeling less than important.

The mirror, our bank account, and the naysayers point out the flaws.

Negative things stack up a lot faster than positive things–if we allow it.

There are so many things that are supposed to lead to happiness and joy and a “fulfilled” life. If you buy into the lies out there, you’ll walk around confused about your worth.  

That’s what I want us to explore together over the next few days.

So, here’s a question for you:

What dictates the worth and purpose of your life?