Jesus

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Birthday Wishes to a Great Friend

bffl faveI’m going to do something completely cheesy today.

This blog post is dedicated to my friend, Bethany Fletcher, in honor of her birthday.

We met in college and became friends instantly….NOT!

In fact, I remember the time she told me that the first time we hung out in a big group she went to her room and cried. She also used to lock the door on her side of our Jack and Jill style bathroom suite.

Eventually, though, she and I realized (and began to appreciate) all of the individual qualities that make us both awesome. christmas friends

Bethany taught me about many things, but for some I am eternally grateful:

  1. Fashion–thanks for helping me get past dressing like a granny.
  2. Music–my previous musical tastes involved a lot of Reba and Patsy Cline. I’m still their number one fan, but my musical taste has broadened–a lot.
  3. Blogging–if it wasn’t for Bethany, I would not be a blog lover today.
  4. Encouragement–this chick has walked with me and encouraged me through some pretty dark times. She’s also slapped me back into reality, but it’s always followed by a hug.
  5. Jesus–Bethany’s friendship with our Savior is out of this world. Seriously. I’ve always looked to her example in how to live, love, and serve Jesus.

Bethany, I hope you’re okay with me dedicating a whole blog post to you. It’s just that you know I’m horrible at sending out cards…..but I do want you to know that I am thankful for your friendship.

bffl pumpkinHappy Birthday, BFFL!

I hope that your 26th year is awesome.

Know that my thoughts and prayers are always with you and, of course, Mr. Fletcher.

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An amazing and sustaining grace

Many of the bloggers I enjoy following are so bold. They take fierce stands on hard topics and ride the criticism like surfers ride waves.

I’ve deleted everything 5 times today.200 words here, 150 words there. The thought of hitting publish made me queasy.

Playing it safe is a hard trap to escape.

How many times have we talked about being bold? Being unafraid? Not hiding?

Your fearless leader was a coward today.

She cried over what to make for dinner. Seriously. This happened. When told to put something together for dinner I freaked out. The need for approval and the fear of rejection collided in the perfect storm.

Over dinner.

Today is not the first time I’ve struggled with words and dinner either. Today is simply the first time I’ve had the courage to talk about it.

Dear Friends,

I have a hard time making choices without a plan and saying things without fearing the opinions of others.

Sincerely,

Tired-of-being-scared Audra

Yesterday I talked about Bold Christians vs. Sissy Christians. (Insert face palm.)

Sorry about that…

I strongly agree with what I said, but you need to read today’s post for a much needed addendum.

It’s hard to be a Bold Christian when you cry over dinner planning. (This is what’s been haunting me all day.)

But remember what I said about grace for the lost?

Grace is for Christians too. There are no double standards with Jesus.

Look at Romans 5:

10 For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. 11 And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

If grace and love is available while we were sinners, grace and love will sustain us even more when we become Christians.

Learning how to extend grace to yourself can be hard. We see our fallacies and failures so clearly. Remember, though, that grace gives us new vision–for others and for ourselves.

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Grace changes vision

When I was an enemy of God, He decided to make me a friend. His forgiveness is readily available to everyone. It’s not available once your life looks pretty. It’s available right now.

Romans 5:7-8 says:

7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

My heart was a mess before Christ. I tried really hard to be good. Some people even bought into my costume too.

But I knew and God knew that what I really needed was grace–God’s DNA–to make a change. Once I accepted God’s grace, everything changed. I gave up my acting career and became an honest woman.

Grace is a change in vision.

God's loveI now see people as God sees them: forgiven, free, loved, and full of potential. This is the future for those who will accept the freedom purchased by the blood of Christ.

Verse 8 says that God loves people when they are still sinners.

As Christians, we are called to love as God loves. This means that I am to love people when they are still sinners.

The exclusivity of the church from the world makes me angry.

Living in Christian Bubble Land is not included in the Great Commission.

I will not pray for anyone to be delivered from a non-Christian environment. What I will pray is that he or she will  grow up in the faith and stop being a Sissy Christian.

Sissy Christians are scared of non-Christians and don’t understand grace.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it’s truth.

Jesus is no sissy and I follow Him.

He defeated sin, death, and hell to give us grace, love, and mercy.

This is the Good News, the gospel we need to spread.

I think some of us forget that we were once a mess. No one asked us to clean it all up before coming to Jesus.

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Perfectionism is a choice

IMG_1566If perfection is unattainable, why do we keep striving for it?

Nothing will ever be perfect. The sooner you and I realize this simple truth, the sooner you and I can enjoy our beautiful, yet messy, lives.

Social media is filled with “inspirational” quotes and pictures about how no one is perfect. Thank you, Captain Obvious, this is not news.

Or is it?

Our obsession with warning others about the trap of perfectionism is an indication that many of our friends and family really believe it’s an obtainable goal.

And this is coming from a girl who knows its a trap and frequently makes the insane choice to walk right in it….

Notice, though, what I said: I know it’s a trap and I choose to step in it.

It’s time to get honest.

We all know that perfection is unobtainable, but continue to chase after it.

Maybe what we need is for our friends and family to say, “Stop it!” instead of hearing another inspirational message about embracing the messiness of life.

So, my sweet friends, I think it’s time for us to make a few changes. In order to do that, though, we’ll need to acknowledge the facts:

  1. You will never be perfect.
  2. Life can be hard and unfair.

Now, let’s look at those facts from the gospel’s perspective:

  1. Perfection was never an option. If we could be perfect, we wouldn’t need a Savior. Jesus lived the perfect life and then gave us all the wonderful benefits that go along with it.
  2. Even though life is not fair, we have God’s promises on our side. Everything–both fair and unfair–must work together for our good. Those are some great odds when faced with a challenge.

If you struggle with perfectionism, know that I understand your struggle because it’s my own.

My only request is that you be proactive in your efforts to avoid the trap. In the end, it’s your responsibility to make the necessary changes.

.

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The problem with being spiritual

I’m more spiritual than you.

  • I read my Bible more.
  • I listen to cool worship music.
  • I never miss an opportunity to be at church.
  • I have 12,000 pictures on social media dedicated to Christian activities.

Because that’s what Christianity is all about.

Being spiritual.

Except that it’s not.

And, besides, how can anyone be more spiritual than someone else?

We’re all spirit beings. Every human on this planet is a spirit, has a soul, and lives in a body.

So please drop the “everything I do and say must be perceived as spiritual” act.No one is buying it.

I have this recurring thought that will not go away:

What if all church buildings were closed down?

What if every trace of Christianity was wiped off the internet?

Would Christianity survive such a fate?

Your faith has to be planted deeply in the soils of a rich, intimate communion with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit.

Most Christians do not have a deep understanding of their beliefs.

Maybe that’s because we spend more time posting “spiritual” things online than we do reading our Bible or even living out our faith.

I’m including a link to a study conducted by the American Bible Society titled “The State of the Bible: 2014” for those who want to read more on the subject.

I want us to think about the heart behind it all.

It bothers me that our precious faith is so marginalized–both inside and outside the church–when it’s potential to change hearts and lives is beyond compare.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

What are some of the problems you see with the quest to be more “spiritual”?

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Internet 101: Is this my pride talking?

Is social media fueling our pride?

I can’t get this question out of my head. Awareness is one thing, but shameless plugs about our good deeds is another.

What is our motive when sharing things online?

Proverbs 27:2 says:

“Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips.”

Jesus said:

3 But when you do a charitable deed, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 that your charitable deed may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will Himself reward you openly” (Matthew 6:3-4).

These are the verses that are influencing my thoughts on this subject.

It’s a toughie….

nothingerasedI grew up as a people pleaser who lived in the shadows, always pushing others into the light. I used to think that’s what it meant to be humble.

And then I came to understand true humility–and it had nothing to do with my misconstrued beliefs about self-worth.

My discomfort now has nothing to do with my self-image. It has everything to do with the question of necessity.

Does everyone need to know that I did this? (Whatever “this” may be)

I have given money, support, and time to plenty of things. Normally, though, I ask to not be included in any online shout outs. There are exceptions, of course, but I will opt out whenever possible.

This post is not my legalistic attempt at being perceived as holy either. (That voice is screaming in my ear right now.)

I want us to have a conversation about this topic. I want to navigate these murky waters with you.

And I can’t ask you to engage in a conversation with me if I can’t be honest first.

Drop me a comment with your thoughts.

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Confessions of a leadership stalker

I have a few problems. They’re serious too.

  • Book ADD
  • YouTube ADD
  • Blog ADD
  • Podcast ADD

If I hear about a speaker, author, pastor, etc. on a podcast or blog, I will immediately go to the library’s website and see how many of their books are available to check out.

Then I go to YouTube and find all of the videos of them speaking.

Then I go to the podcasts site and find all the podcasts.

Then I go to their website and blog.

I'm holding you hostage for your knowledge!

I’m holding you hostage for your knowledge!

This is called leadership stalking. (No, it’s not in any official medical journals, but it should be.)

My illness is in overdrive this week because of the Influence and Impact Summit (link below).

Nothing will stop me from this craziness. I just want to learn from this person–right now!

If your list of acceptable teachers can fit on a Post It note, you need to upgrade to a larger piece of paper.

There’s nothing wrong with having a big pool of teachers. I am a big believer in learning from those around me.

And, a note to my Christian friends who are afraid to broaden their horizons, if you apply common sense and your Jesus Filter (aka The Bible) you can learn from anyone.

In today’s world, there’s no reason for us to not be learning.

You will never arrive at a place where you know it all. No one likes a know it all anyway!

We have so much information at our fingertips that a 13th century monk would be crying if he ever came back for a visit.

Take advantage of all available resources, especially when they’re free!

Don’t be afraid to become an ADD learning junkie.

There are gifts inside of you that the world needs.

Now, get busy learning how to use them.

Influence and Impact Summit:

http://www.influenceandimpactsummit.com/

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No is an answer too

no!

No!

NO!

I have a hard time with this word–even though I can scream it in my head forever.

Instead I say:

Sure.

I can work that in.

Let me think about it.

Why is it so hard to say no?

For me, it goes back to rejection. The word “no” means that someone might not like you.

But not saying no also means that I often do things I don’t want to do.

Being a Yes Man or a Yes Woman doesn’t make you the most awesome person on the planet. It makes you a pushover, a doormat.

No is an answer too.

In fact, part of setting healthy boundaries is learning the when, where, and how of no.

I say no when:

  • Something doesn’t align with my values.
  • I’m already stretched too thin.
  • I need to disappoint the right people–i.e. my third cousin’s husband’s uncle as opposed to my best friend.

And, in case you’re wondering, saying no does not make you selfish.

This is the biggest lie in the world when it comes to boundaries.

You’re not selfish for saying no!

There are times I’ve had to stick to my guns.

If it’s not moving me forward, the answer is no.

If it goes against my faith, the answer is no.

Some things cannot be negotiated.

The right to say “no” is being challenged in America.

We need to figure this out.

Yes and no applies to everyone. Period.

Just remember that your actions must line up with your answers.

Screaming no and living yes makes you two-faced.

I want to end by quoting my Savior, Jesus Christ (since He’s the one most of us claim to follow):

 “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37).

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Celebrating a great teacher

Yesterday was bittersweet for me.

Rose Sunday is one of my favorite traditions, but another event followed it: Dr. Hokanson’s memorial.

Saying goodbye is hard–even if you know someone’s a Christian.

ChrisHokansonDr. H’s memorial, though, was the best one I have ever attended. I know that’s a weird statement to make, but it’s true.

We focused on the lessons Dr. H left us, lessons that are very much alive and well.

Dr. Hokanson’s brother, Charles, gave the greatest eulogy I have ever heard.

We learned more about Dr. H by listening to his brother share precious memories with us. 

I walked away from the memorial with two thoughts:

  1. Am I using the gifts God’s given me?
  2. Am I encouraging others to do the same?

Because Dr. Hokanson did both of these things quite well.

And that’s all we talked about, really.

These two themes that made up Dr. H’s every day life.

The memorial was brimming with hope, with life.

Yes, I’m still a little angry that cancer took away such a great man too early.

But I know Dr. H is in Heaven, hanging out with Jesus. The pain is softened when I think about how much fun he’s having.

Plus, if Jane Austen’s there (I’m sure she is) he’s probably having tea with her right now.

His scones were the best too!

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Note to self: Don’t panic

don't forgetTimes are tough.

Four Marines are dead.

ISIS is killing Christians.

The definition of marriage is under attack.

Political correctness is ruining our society.

But, as Christians, we can’t allow these hardships to keep us from our mission: To share the gospel and make disciples. blog 2

Jesus said things like:

Turn the other cheek.

If someone makes you walk one mile, go two.

Love and pray for your enemies.

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

If I’m not careful, I spend too much time focusing on all the bad things. I shake my head at the depravity of man and forget that at one time I was depraved too.

But we still have time! The world hasn’t ended yet!

If we’re still here, that means our mission isn’t over.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. His name is Jesus.

My goal for the next bit is to simply shine the light of Christ into the dark places, showing those who are still wandering the way home.

It’s time to stop freaking out about the darkness when we have the light of the world–and all His power–at our disposal.