family

Leave a comment Posted on Character Corner, Daily Blogs, Family

Surviving an emotional hangover

Have you ever had an emotional hangover?

You share something really personal and the next day you think:

“Why did I do that?!? I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

I’m a pretty private person, which might seem like a strange statement since I blog every day. We share 200-300 words a day, right? Daily blogging has been a stretching experience for me.

Allowing people into my head space every single day is scary. I’m like a Puritan when it comes to my emotions. If my ankles are showing that’s just too much!

There have been many times I’ve shared with you guys and felt sick to my stomach.

“Did I say too much? What did I just do?”

I only bring this up now because I’m working on a project with my dad and stepmom. You’ll get to hear more about my reconciliation journey. For those who are unfamiliar with my story, this series would be a good one to follow. (And that’s all I’m going to say for now.)

This project will be a BIG stretch for me…

I need to find a nice rock to rent and a stash of brown paper bags.

I realize this post is a bit melodramatic. (Aren’t hyperboles fun?)

No one likes vulnerability, but we all crave it. We’re constantly watching and testing those around us to see if they’re genuine.

And yet, many of us are so scared to share.

Dear friend, I’m right there with you!

Fight the urge to hide, okay?

Hiding helps no one.

Find an outlet to share your gifts and stories with others.

Know that I’m here to help you however I can.

Leave a comment Posted on Daily Blogs, Family

Birthday fun

Today’s post is going to be very, very short. 

I want to wish my little brother, Courage, a happy birthday. 

He’s a little cutie that brings great joy to our family. 

I’m posting this at his party, so I gotta go. 

Happy Birthday, Courage!!!

  

Leave a comment Posted on Character Corner, Daily Blogs, Family

Internet 101: Learn what’s appropriate

I don’t have any kids of my own, but I strongly disagree with shame based parenting.

If your kid does something wrong, I agree there needs to be consequences.

You can discipline your kid, though, without humiliating them.

I read a story about a young girl who allegedly committed suicide after a video was posted online of her father cutting off her long hair. She was being punished for “getting messed up” which I think refers to drinking or doing drugs…not really sure.

Either way, I don’t know how cutting off her hair would help anything.

To be fair to the stories I read, the police are not connecting the suicide with the punishment. It does, however, bring up the conversation of shame based parenting.

Here’s some of the videos floating around YouTube this year:

  • A parent encouraging a child to beat up a sibling
  • Children standing at intersections holding up embarrassing signs
  • Parents berating their children

I know we’ve talked about this before, but not everything has to be posted online!

Videoing someone on his or her death bed is inappropriate.

Live tweeting a funeral is inappropriate.

Videoing discipline is inappropriate.

Once again, not everything has to be posted online!

The fact that someone has to say “This, this, and this should be kept offline” is absurd.

Being vulnerable in today’s world is hard enough without the threat of your most intimate, sometimes heartbreaking moments being posted online for all the world to see.

And how would you feel knowing that the people who are supposed to love you the most–your parents–are trying to humiliate you?

ALWAYS think before you post.

  1. Will this content cause another to suffer?
  2. Why do I want to share this with others?
  3. What if it was me?

More reading:

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/shame-parenting-expert-article-1.2347317

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3111907/Girl-13-commits-suicide-jumping-bridge-video-dad-cutting-hair-punishment-posted-online.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sherrie-campbell-phd/inspire-healthy-self-este_b_6437472.html

Leave a comment Posted on Character Corner, Daily Blogs

Put the matches down

Integrity is what you do when no one’s watching. 

My 8th grade English teacher, Ms. Blackmon, taught me that definition. 

She gave us an example too. 

You’re all alone on a stretch of country road late at night. You approach a red light and no one’s around. Do you run it? Or wait for it to turn green? 

Your decision, she said, is the true measure of your integrity. 

This little story has always stuck with me. During times of temptation I catch myself. 

What about my integrity?

We’ve all had friends and family fail–and not the ones we expected either. 

They were so nice!

Their lives seemed so perfect!

What you do, who you are when no one’s looking really matters. 

I think that’s why sincerity is such a hot commodity these days. 

“Just be real,” we say, “Be honest about your struggles.”

I’m all for it too! Goodness knows that I screw up a lot. 

But we need to be careful. 

Asking others to be sincere means we can’t burn them at the stake.

This is true when a friend or relative makes a mistake or even expresses an opinion that differs from your own. 

Self-righteous witch hunts are what drive people to wear masks. 

The root of integrity–and all good character for that matter–starts when no one’s looking. 

Maturity is a process, so don’t hide your struggles. 

And, lastly, don’t be so quick to strike a match. 

Leave a comment Posted on Daily Blogs, Faith Journeys

The best of friends

Did you know that God is a friend?

The Bible says he’s closer than a brother. That means as much as your family loves you, God loves you more. 

God has many names, but friend is one of my favorites. 

Friendship, to me, is a precious gift. We graft people into our family trees and we share with them our treasures, our hopes and dreams. 

God’s friendship is the best in the world. 

  • He’ll never leave you or forsake you. 
  • His spirit–the Holy Spirit–leads and guides you every day. 
  • His Word is a letter written to you and for you. 

God is a friend. 

There’s been many times, when I’m trying to freak out about something, that I am forced to stop. 

I feel God’s peace, God’s love in the strongest way. 

Lord, I know you’re with me. I’m the one choosing to freak out–You’re not freaked out at all. You’re just waiting on me to remember. 

My friends do this to me all the time. 

They let me talk and vent before saying, “I see why you’re upset, but have you thought of it this way?”

God does the same!

He’s a great friend. 

I encourage you to think about God as a friend. 

This shift in perspective changed my relationship with God in a major way. 

He’s not some mean, old man who’s distant and cold toward you and I. 

God is a friend. 

Leave a comment Posted on Business Sense, Character Corner, Daily Blogs, Family

Things left unsaid

Many times I’ve felt bad because I needed to shut up and I didn’t.

Why did I say that?

Why can’t I keep my big mouth shut?

If you want to meet a connoisseur of crow, look no further. It goes great with a big slice of humble pie.

But, more often than not, my regret comes from a different place:

Why didn’t I say anything?

When I look back, there’s a lot of things I wanted to say. The words died on my tongue.

I wish now that I still had my childhood journals because I wrote down all of my rebuttals–after the fact.On paper, I was the most self-confident, well spoken person.

My battle with rejection kept me from saying much. It was easier, I believed, to not say anything at all than to lose a relationship–even if the relationship was unhealthy.

This obsession with not being rejected didn’t lead to greater acceptance. It only led to more loneliness.

I honestly believed that being a doormat was my best choice.

Each time a muddy boot plowed over me, I took that pain and buried it deep, but you can only bury things for so long.

Stuffing emotions is a lot like taking trash to a landfill. The hole is deep but it fills up to overflowing fast. No matter how much you pack the trash down, there comes a time when full is full.

I encourage you to not remain silent. I understand that confrontation is not easy. Not standing up for yourself, though, only leads to frustration and regret.

What you have to say is important.

You are important.

It’s time to take off your “Wipe Your Paws” t-shirt.

Leave a comment Posted on Daily Blogs, Family, Funny Bone

Mr. Corn Face and I

It doesn’t take much to tickle my funny bone. 

Most every day is filled with sprinkles of humor that make me smile. 
Today was no exception. 

The thrift store had several corny items…and I couldn’t help but snap a few pictures. 

  My friend, Mr Corn Face, would’ve been mine IF he hadn’t cost $20. 

(He’s one special guy, I’m sure, but I couldn’t bring myself to spend that much money.)

  I was reminded today that random, funny moments make for the best memories. 

Take some time over the weekend to look for the silly side of things. 

And if you bump into my friend Mr. Corn Face say hello for me. 

Leave a comment Posted on Business Sense, Character Corner, Daily Blogs

Labor Day Learning

Happy Labor Day!

I hope you ate some tasty food. 

We had barbecue (my personal favorite) and sang America, the Beautiful. 

Did you know that Labor Day’s been around since the 1800s? 

The holiday was and is about celebrating all the laborers who work hard, building and maintaining America’s varying infrastructures. 

 

This is the closest I’ve ever come to being a lumberjack. Happy Labor Day!

 From homes and offices to highways and bridges–and everything in between–America would look a lot different without the hard work of tradesmen. 

I encourage you to read up on the history of Labor Day. Google that junk, as my friend Bethany would say. 

Yes, there is more to the holiday than simply enjoying a long weekend and eating barbecue (though I want to know when National Barbecue Day rolls around). 

Put down your fork for 5 minutes and learn something. 

History is all around us. It’s not confined to a dusty textbook. And it can only be ignored for so long. 

I don’t want to be a mindless zombie when it comes to holidays. 

I want to take the time to celebrate each one by honoring its unique history. 

Leave a comment Posted on Character Corner, Daily Blogs, Family

A clean perspective 

Today’s post will be short and sweet because I’m tired. 

I spent the day cleaning house with my family. We wanted the house to look nice when my stepmom and sisters arrive home this Tuesday. 

We had a lot to do but my battle plan worked! 

Okay, it wasn’t really a battle plan…it was only a list. The list, though, held me accountable. 

The little people were a great help too!

Caleb and Selah put all their toys away. 

Courage did a great job of unfolding clothes and taking toys back out of the toy box. His cuteness was a nice distraction from the tediousness, so we forgave him each time. 

Cleaning house isn’t glamorous but I was reminded today of my family’s many, many blessings. 

We have nothing to complain about and God has given us more than we need. 

(I spent all day cleaning up that more, which is how I know.)

So, yeah, cleaning house isn’t always fun, but it’s good to keep things in perspective: I have a house to clean. I have food to eat. 

I’d say I have it made….

Leave a comment Posted on Character Corner, Daily Blogs, Faith Journeys, Family

Don’t fall in the muck hole

IMG_1566When did being raunchy become the new standard?

The filth that spews out of music and television….

Trying to find a decent comedian to listen to or a movie to watch is nearly impossible.

And then I read up on the Miley Cyrus incident. (Need I say more?)

Sometimes I think we’re living in the time of the cavemen. People behave like they have to respond to their every feeling and impulse.

“I’m an animal with no self-control!” is the new mantra.

For a culture that’s supposedly “civilized” we enjoy muck a bit too much.

Our obsession with sex is out of control.

What I find ironic is that no one wants to get married but everyone wants to hop into bed.

This craziness has seeped it’s way into Christian circles too. (Though no one is willing to talk about it.)

Today, it’s almost like you have to make a choice:

A) Be as crude and vulgar as you possibly can.

B) Be a Puritan.

I’m neither brazen nor puritanical in nature.

I just don’t want to abuse a gift from God.

I’ve had more single friends tell me, “Oh! It’s so cute you’re still a virgin.” or “Loosen up. You’ll never find a guy who’s a virgin anymore.”

Since when did the concepts of virginity and purity become “cute”?

It’s time we stop believing the cultural lies about sex because these lies are leading us to a dangerous place where even the most “civilized” and “evolved” among us can’t reason their way out.