Emotional traffic jam

I’m struggling with what to talk about. 

This is one of those nights when the thoughts in my head are taking up a lot of room. 

It’s my practice to not share things that are still fresh. The emotions are too hard for me to juggle. 

Maybe that’s the safe route, the boring route, but I just can’t do it right now. 

And before you get too concerned, everything is fine. No one is hurt or dead. 

The traffic jam of thoughts has me cloudy and a bit unsure. 

Has this ever happened to you?

How do you handle emotional traffic jams?

Some bloggers know how to navigate and share accordingly. I’ve read their blogs and admire their bravery. 

Then there’s me…

The girl who spends more time talking around her feelings than about them. 

The girl whose hands get shaky sharing her thoughts on a good day. 

Sorry that you’re stuck with me for now. 

I’m a work in progress. 

The truth shall set you free, right?

Now, to publish this post before I chicken out….

Getting real

You don’t have to say everything that’s on your mind. 

In fact, I highly encourage you not to say everything. The amount of trouble I’ve gotten myself into by sharing my opinion too openly is ridiculous. 

Much of my heartache could’ve been avoided–if only I’d shut my mouth!

But there’s a flip side to this topic as well. 

I also tend to not tell people how I really feel or think. The natural peacekeeper in me hates conflict of any kind. 

And, no, I don’t have multiple personalities. 

It’s just that I over talk about the trivial things and not say enough when it matters. 

Can anyone else relate?

This is a real struggle for me

I’ve bitten my tongue so hard it’s drawn blood when I needed to speak and then blabbed about something trivial–like a movie or a singer’s latest album–for several minutes. 

Staying surface would be so much easier because there’s absolutely no risk. Funny, though, how you can’t talk about faith in Christ without going deep. 

I’m not saying to shove religion down someone’s throat or to act like a weirdo with no social skills either. 

The sincerity I’m referring to comes from being intimately seen and known:

  • Your strengths and weaknesses are out in the open. 
  • You have nothing to hide and nothing to lose. 

I’m not going to lie. This kind of intimacy frightens me. God and I continue to talk about this aspect of faith. 

The Bible gives us clear instructions, which trumps any apprehensive emotions I experience. 

We are called to live vulnerably. 

At work. 

At home. 

At church. 

Paul told the believers at Corinth to imitate me as I imitate Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1). 

His life was an open book–on purpose. 

I’m all about boundaries and I’m not promoting keeping toxic relationships on life support. However, our need for comfort and control is keeping us from being open. 

We all talk about “being real” but do we really understand what this means? 

Surviving an emotional hangover

Have you ever had an emotional hangover?

You share something really personal and the next day you think:

“Why did I do that?!? I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

I’m a pretty private person, which might seem like a strange statement since I blog every day. We share 200-300 words a day, right? Daily blogging has been a stretching experience for me.

Allowing people into my head space every single day is scary. I’m like a Puritan when it comes to my emotions. If my ankles are showing that’s just too much!

There have been many times I’ve shared with you guys and felt sick to my stomach.

“Did I say too much? What did I just do?”

I only bring this up now because I’m working on a project with my dad and stepmom. You’ll get to hear more about my reconciliation journey. For those who are unfamiliar with my story, this series would be a good one to follow. (And that’s all I’m going to say for now.)

This project will be a BIG stretch for me…

I need to find a nice rock to rent and a stash of brown paper bags.

I realize this post is a bit melodramatic. (Aren’t hyperboles fun?)

No one likes vulnerability, but we all crave it. We’re constantly watching and testing those around us to see if they’re genuine.

And yet, many of us are so scared to share.

Dear friend, I’m right there with you!

Fight the urge to hide, okay?

Hiding helps no one.

Find an outlet to share your gifts and stories with others.

Know that I’m here to help you however I can.