The opportunities in your reality

Did you ever watch The Brady Bunch movie?

It was a spoof from the ’90s that was not that great, but made me laugh nonetheless. In it, Mike Brady gave Bobby some great advice:

“Wherever you go, there you are.”

I’ve seen this “advice” plastered all over novelty items. (I also googled the saying and found out it’s the title of a meditation book. Go figure.) What a goofy thing to say, right? We all know that…..or do we?

Recently, I was part of a conversation where a friend said, “Do you know what I could be doing?” and then went on for about 10 minutes about a job he could have.

I told this friend,  “You’re right and I agree. But here you are, so what are you going to do?”

There’s nothing wrong with dreaming or wanting to better yourself. Just remember that improvement starts right where you are. The weaknesses we possess do not magically disappear with a new opportunity.

The more I listened to my friend, the more I understood that the root of the problem was not feeling appreciated. Maybe an elevated position, a better job would do the trick. These people would appreciate me. These people see my true potential.

Once again, there’s truth in these thoughts. There’s nothing wrong with getting praised and honored for good work. Just be careful that praise and accolades aren’t the primary motivators. Applause is momentary–and it’s fickle too.

Motivation really is everything.

What are you looking to gain from an opportunity?

Be honest.

Answering this one question will show you the motivations of your heart.

Like I said earlier, the messy parts of ourselves–the things we want to leave behind–won’t disappear. You can’t just move on and not leave the new address.

Look around. There’s a lot to learn, a lot to do right, where you are now. Don’t be afraid to dream, but don’t ignore the opportunities in your current reality either.

When comfort doesn’t come

I struggle with being assertive.

Being nice? Having fun? Keeping things light and fluffy?

Welcome to my comfort zone or my discomfort zone, depending on the day.

Lysa TerKeurst says it best:

Having a comfort zone doesn’t mean you’re always comfortable.

I’m being stretched in this area at work. Accountability in the work place, especially for those of us in management positions, means holding meetings to discuss progress.

Guess who’s the bearer of bad news?

Yeah. Fun-loving Audra.

And most of the time it’s not terrible news. Managers are just trained to notice things that are not going well–and then come up with strategies for improvement.

I’ll be really honest with you. I have to pray a lot when receiving instruction and correction. When my thoughts are allowed to go off alone, I take it personally–and even my controlled thoughts find me vulnerable.

Receiving instruction with grace is always a choice I have to make.

This is one struggle that can send my emotions and relationships into a tailspin. One of my goals for next year is to deconstruct this area and come up with a battle plan.

IMG_1566For now, though, I’m sitting in a hard place. Things have gone wrong and all I can do is clean up the mess.

Can I give you some advice?

Don’t ignore warning signs.

Don’t put off conversations.

Pretending everything is okay, will be okay, can be okay is not helping.

Which brings me back to being assertive in the workplace…..

If management teaches you anything it’s how to conquer fear, especially when your fear pops up as a subject in a meeting about your personal performance.

Here’s what I’m learning as I face up to my insecurities about giving/receiving instruction and correction:

Dealing with a problem is always uncomfortable. Stop waiting for comfort to come along. It won’t.

Lessons from Toyland 

Toy stores are overwhelming. 

I took my little sister to Toys R Us to buy her a birthday present. 

Thank goodness she knew what she wanted! (Even though the toy looked weird to me at first). 
You could get lost in there. 

I just wonder if it’s healthy for kids to be bombarded by so many options at such a young age. 

Even with parental guidance it’s hard for a kid to navigate the world of entertainment, especially because every company wants kids to grow up with their merchandise. 

Brand loyalty doesn’t happen overnight. And that’s why companies target children. 

Like anything in life, how strict you are as a parent will always be under scrutiny. I don’t have any children yet, but I watch families closely. 

It’s the best way to pick up the dos and don’ts of parenting. 

Kudos to all parents though–no matter how strict or lax in other areas–who monitor their kids’ toys. 

I learned quite a bit from my trip to the toy store about how hard it is to provide educational and fun toys for kids without sacrificing their little hearts in the process. 

Tips from the water cooler

The transition has begun!

I started training my friend and coworker today to take my place as full time office manager in January. 

We spent the morning doing the monthly reports and moving in a new tenant and lots of other job related things. (I had a list.)

It was cool to teach someone else about my job. I know that’s unusual, but it taught me a lot about how to leave a place better than when you came. 

Training the next employee is a great way to leave a workplace ready to move forward after you’re gone. 

I realize that not everyone has this opportunity. For me, though, it’s my way of giving back. This is what I can do to say thank you to my employers. 

Despite what you see in our culture, going to work is a great privilege. Not every job is awesome, but burning bridges as you leave is not a good idea. 

I’ve been blessed to only have wonderful bosses. I can only imagine the bad ones I’ve heard about from my friends. 

If you’re like me, be sure to thank your employers. 

If you have a bad boss, well, try to find at least one nice thing to say. Cling to it like a life boat while you look for employment elsewhere. 

All I need is a cup of coffee and a little perspective

I used to be a chipper morning person. My grumpier self told her to get lost.

My younger siblings do not care.

They are loud and boisterous and excited about the day–even if they don’t know what day it is.

“Audra, what day is it?” Caleb asks.

“It’s Tuesday,” I reply.

His response is normally something like:

“Yay! That means we get to ________” or “What are we going to do today?”

Maybe us grumpy adults should be more easily excitable.

We tend to see each day from a more practical, soul sucking point of view. I don’t think we mean to, though, but it’s easy to fall in line with our work hating, wish-it-was-the-weekend culture.

Last night my little brother–in his childlike wisdom–prayed the most beautiful blessing over our dinner.

“Dear God,

Thanks for having us today.

Thank you for dinner and this time with my family.”

Amen.”

Caleb thanked God for letting us live.

And the thunderbolt of conviction struck my heart….

IMG_1692Every breath, every day comes from God. Begrudging my life and all the things I “have to do” is a slap in God’s face.

I understand that we all have hardships and bad days, but our worst day–especially if you live in the West–is someone else’s best day.

The minor inconveniences of our life will not affect whether we live or die. With that in mind, you and I have very little to complain about.

This is not meant to be a guilt trip.

Just call it a good, old fashioned reality check.

Sure, you’re not a morning person but you can be a thankful–yet quiet–non-morning person.

Sure, money is tight but you have food, water, and shelter. A cancelled Netflix account or a month without cable will not kill you.

Perspective has a way of making us honest.

Confessions of a Word Collector

I am a word collector.

I collect inspiring words.

brain depositoryI write them down in my brain depository, which is really just my notebook. (Yes, I used the thesaurus to find a synonym of notebook. I am that person.)

It’s impossible to listen to smart people without writing down their words of wisdom.

I encourage you to become a word collector too. Buy a notebook or use one of the million note taking apps.

Here’s 10 of my favorite quotes from this year. If I got it from a book, I’ll give you the title.

  1. “To foreclose on our emotional life out of a fear that the costs will be too high is to walk away from the very thing that gives purpose and meaning to living.”  -Dr. Brene Brown, Daring Greatly
  2. “How can we be loved if we are always hiding?” -Donald Miller, Scary Close
  3. “Language does not always have to wear a tie and lace up shoes.” -Stephen King, On Writing
  4. “You know what it is about someone that makes them a friend? A friend doesn’t just say things; a friend does.” -Bob Goff, Love Does
  5. “Passion is often found in the crucible of work.” -Jon Acuff, Do Over
  6. “Servants can go places kings can’t.” -Jon Weece, Jesus Prom
  7. “The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” -Sunni Brown, The Doodle Revolution
  8. “Grace treats us like we already are what we fear we will never become.” -Beth Moore, taken from Wednesdays in the Word on Life Today
  9. “If you stay in a rut long enough, it will become a grave.” -Christine Caine, taken from one of her many teachings on YouTube
  10. “The ministry of the heart is the sole responsibility of the individual, yet few people ever learn how to consistently influence their hearts in a deliberate way.” -Dr. James Richards, How to Stop the Pain 

Confessions of a leadership stalker

I have a few problems. They’re serious too.

  • Book ADD
  • YouTube ADD
  • Blog ADD
  • Podcast ADD

If I hear about a speaker, author, pastor, etc. on a podcast or blog, I will immediately go to the library’s website and see how many of their books are available to check out.

Then I go to YouTube and find all of the videos of them speaking.

Then I go to the podcasts site and find all the podcasts.

Then I go to their website and blog.

I'm holding you hostage for your knowledge!

I’m holding you hostage for your knowledge!

This is called leadership stalking. (No, it’s not in any official medical journals, but it should be.)

My illness is in overdrive this week because of the Influence and Impact Summit (link below).

Nothing will stop me from this craziness. I just want to learn from this person–right now!

If your list of acceptable teachers can fit on a Post It note, you need to upgrade to a larger piece of paper.

There’s nothing wrong with having a big pool of teachers. I am a big believer in learning from those around me.

And, a note to my Christian friends who are afraid to broaden their horizons, if you apply common sense and your Jesus Filter (aka The Bible) you can learn from anyone.

In today’s world, there’s no reason for us to not be learning.

You will never arrive at a place where you know it all. No one likes a know it all anyway!

We have so much information at our fingertips that a 13th century monk would be crying if he ever came back for a visit.

Take advantage of all available resources, especially when they’re free!

Don’t be afraid to become an ADD learning junkie.

There are gifts inside of you that the world needs.

Now, get busy learning how to use them.


Influence and Impact Summit:

http://www.influenceandimpactsummit.com/

Navigating the freelancing universe

freelance 2I want to talk to you about freelancing and small business management.

I’ve had several freelance gigs over the last few years. And freelancing is not as easy as people think.

Being a business owner of any kind means that all decisions fall to you.

From client acquisition to invoicing to taxes, a small business owner has to juggle the sometimes stressful administrative side with the fun loving “this is my dream” side of things.

Thankfully, administrative work comes naturally to me, but many small businesses fail because their owners struggle with the bookkeeping and the mountains of paperwork it requires for tax purposes.

Not everyone has an aunt who’s an accountant either.

Freshbooks to the rescue!

They are offering a free 30 day trial of their cloud accounting software.

Send professional invoices, track your expenses, and get paid faster.

Keeping track of the numbers just got easier.

I highly recommend Freshbooks to all of my friends who are small business owners.

This company is growing superfast and their tools will save you time, which means you can earn even more money doing what you love.

Check out this infograph that explains the freelance universe in a fun way.

Take advantage of the free trial and let me know what you think.

1-800-RESPONSIBILITY

Today I watched someone fix my computer remotely.

Talk about a weird experience….

The technical support team logged onto my Teamviewer and started buzzing around my computer. Three people were logged on at the same time!

I know this isn’t mind blowing to most of you, but technology never ceases to amaze me. The first time I used dial up internet (yes, I remember dial up)  I thought I was launching a rocket ship.

Within 30 minutes, my problem was fixed–a problem that stopped me from sending out invoices for work.

Don’t you wish everything in life was like that?

Help, help!

I have a problem budgeting!

I have an anger problem!

I have trust issues!

No worries! Give me 30 minutes and everything will be better.

Life doesn’t work this way.

Easy fixes rarely solve the real problem.

99% of the time, I am the biggest problem in my life.

It’s no one’s fault but my own.

I understand there are outside factors, but responsibility–or the lack thereof–is the number one culprit of life’s problems.

Passing the blame is much easier than accepting responsibility.

Even this computer problem was my fault.

I should’ve called the technicians at the end of last week. They could’ve found the problem then.

I chose to put it off, shoving it to the bottom of my to-do list.

And it almost wrecked one of my busiest days at work!

So, yes, it was not my fault the computer was messed up, but it was my fault that the invoices weren’t emailed until this afternoon.

Here’s the take away:

  • Learning to accept responsibility is a pillar of good character.
  • If you’re not ready to accept responsibility, you’re not ready to receive more responsibility.

There’s no hotline to call to work on your character either.

It’s something that must be developed slowly–and sometimes painfully.

Building Windmills

Choices, choices

Choices, choices

Today I needed pens for my office and I had 518 options.

Not everyone has these kind of options.

In The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, William Kamkwamba built a windmill using parts from a junkyard. He did it without modern tools too. 

There were no trips to Lowe’s or Home Depot to agonize over 50 brands of hammers.

And William still managed to bring electricity to Malawi.

A whole country found hope because one boy got busy.

What could be accomplished if we stopped complaining about not having the right tools? The right education? The right job?

You can own 518 different pens and never write that book. A garage full of tools and never rebuild that classic car. harnessing wind

Are too many options crippling us as a people?

My circumstances will never be perfect enough to do ___________.

Yours won’t either.

As a kid, I rarely had a complete set of toys.

I collected toys from yard sales and thrift shops. I made my toys houses out of cardboard boxes.

Countless hours were spent weaving stories in my own little world.

What I had was enough. My imagination had no limits.

And then adulthood crashed my party.

“You’re an adult now. Play time’s over.” is something I’ve heard a lot since graduating college.

But I don’t want to spend half my life hating my life.

I’m willing to pay the price for doing things differently. It’s better, to me, than waking up one day and realizing I’ve been asleep for 50 years.

Which brings me back to having enough….

Here’s my favorite definition of contentment:

Contentment is knowing that I already have everything I need to be happy.

What I have–right now–is enough.

There’s nothing I can’t accomplish if I already have what I need.

It’s time for you and I to build some windmills.