Daily Blogs

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Relational poker and icebergs

I would be a terrible professional poker player because my ability to bluff is nonexistent.

Within two hands I would be slap broke.

But emotionally? Now that’s a different story.

You will probably find it hard to believe, but I am a very private person. Yes, me, the girl who is posting a blog every day for an entire year. But, really and truly, it’s only about 300 words a day. That’s not a lot when you think about it.

If you’re familiar with the writings of Ernest Hemingway, you know about the Iceberg theory.

icebergtheoryHe only shows readers the tip of the iceberg while the rest is submerged underwater.

And maybe, if you’re like me, your first thought goes to the Titanic.

It’s dangerous to think that there’s this whole other level to relationships, a part that you can’t see by only hanging out with someone at work or church or school.

Relationships take a lot of time to build. It’s really not that far fetched to think that you have to navigate relationships like the Titanic should have navigated the waters–with caution.

You can’t stay surface level and expect to have deep, meaningful relationships.

I can’t play games of relational poker, always bluffing and keeping my cards close, and expect to find myself surrounded by a community of relationally minded people.

And you can’t either.

At some point we all need to share our stories–the good times and the bad times–because that’s where hope lives, the places where darkness turned to light.

Not everyone is like the person(s) who hurt you so deeply. Give others a chance to prove that to you.

No more poker face, okay?

You and I can’t exist outside of a community, so let people in.

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Character friction

Coming face to face  with your character flaws stinks, especially when someone is giving you a compliment.

In the last few weeks, I have been praised for my patience and self-discipline…

I wish that it were true.

I wish that I could easily accept the compliment.

But all I see are the many, many times that I lose my temper or decide to eat a doughnut when I need to eat a salad.

What are you supposed to do with that information?

It challenges me.

On the one hand, I appreciate the positive affirmation. Truly I do. People pay attention when you’re headed down the right path.

On the other hand, I know there’s still a lot of road ahead of me. I have not arrived.

This friction is natural. The rub is real. (I can go on and on with friction clichés, but I’ll stop now. You’re welcome.)

In life, this struggle is the ultimate checks and balances system.

Remember several posts ago when I talked about the voices that scream out your flaws?

They are constantly reminding you of all the reasons you’ll never measure up.

But agreeing with their cries will not help you. Trust me. I spent many years covering my ears and running for cover.

That’s no way to live.

Knowing your areas of strengths and weaknesses is important.

You can’t be too boastful about your strengths or too ashamed about your weaknesses.

Stay focused on where you are headed in life. Keep moving in that direction.

Work on your strengths and weaknesses accordingly.

Maybe this isn’t a struggle for you.

Maybe you’re thinking, “Duh, Audra, everyone knows that!”

But I can get stuck in the rut of introspection and miss out on the fun of the journey.

I want to loosen up a little and have some fun. Want to join me?

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Rest when it rains

It rains a lot when I’m at the office. 

If there’s a chance of rain in Birmingham, it will hit my office. The storm clouds roll in and the downpour begins.

And then I start driving home….

Once I get about two miles from the office, there is no sign of rain. The sun is out and the roads are completely dry.

I’m constantly amazed at this phenomena.

The same thing happens in our life.

Sometimes we’re in a rain bubble. Things just aren’t going that great.

We look over at our friends and family. There’s not a storm cloud anywhere near them. The sun’s out and they’re dancing in a field of wild flowers.

While we’re huddled under our umbrellas and our rain boots fill up with water…

I’ve been there.

Maybe it’s a family situation.

Maybe it’s problems at work.

Maybe it’s fighting back the voices from your past.

Whatever the case may be, you’re tired of the rain.

As a Christian, when hard times come, I start walking–no running–to my refuge and my rock.

Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden. I will give you rest.”

David, the psalmist, said, “The Lord is my rock and my salvation. Whom shall I fear?”

Rainy days won’t last forever, I promise.

I know that’s easy to forget.

Just yesterday I found myself in a state of pure exhaustion. Physically and emotionally, I didn’t know if it was possible to take another step.

That’s when you rest.

Rest in God’s love.

Rest in the finished work of the cross.

And…

Rest physically.

Seriously. Go take a nap right now!

Take care of your body. You’re not Superman or Superwoman.

Plus, when you realize who’s really in control–and it’s not you–the best time to sleep is when the rain comes. (I’m thinking of a house with a tin roof. Where’s my pillow and blanket?)

Jesus fell asleep in the bottom of a boat while His disciples freaked out on deck.

I want to be more like Him and learn to rest in the storms.

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Must Read: Who You Are

 Who You Are by John Croyle is one of my favorite books.
I bought it in February and I have read it three times this year!
If you are not familiar with John Croyle, he used to play football for the University of Alabama (UA).  His son, Brodie, also played at UA and then played six years of professional football.
But, most people don’t know John Croyle from his football years. They know him as the director of the Big Oak Ranch, which is a home for abandoned, abused, and neglected children.

I’ll put a link to their website at the bottom of this post. 

Who You Are is a book about not letting your past define you. Mr. John draws from his 40 years of experience with at-risk kids who have defied the odds and found hope because of Big Oak Ranch.

I highly recommend this book to those who need a fresh reminder that a bright future is available to anyone who wants one. No one is beyond hope.

This book has encouraged me to keep walking down the road toward my own bright future.  I think it can help you on your journey as well.

Big Oak Ranch website:

http://www.bigoak.org

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A conversation with God

Prayer is a fancy word that means talking to God. It’s a divine conversation that is special and grows richer and deeper with time.

Think about your best friend. I bet you didn’t meet he or she in one day and the next day start bearing your soul.

Prayer, much like the other spiritual disciplines, takes time to grow.

Now, it’s also not complicated either. Just open your mouth and talk to God. He loves it when you talk to him!

Tell him about your day, thank him for the many blessings in your life, and go to him on behalf of others.

I talk to God a lot in the car. He’s my favorite road trip buddy. I tell him about my sadness and burdens. I tell him how excited I am. And, a lot of times, I just tell God how thankful I am. We just talk as I drive. It’s awesome!

My point in sharing all of this is simple.

A lot of people make prayer really hard. They think God’s too busy or not interested. None of those things are true.

He always has time to hang out and talk to you.

Spend some time this weekend talking to God. Don’t hold anything back.

And, don’t be too surprised when God starts talking to you too. He’ll speak words of comfort, encouragement, and direction.

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A Friday filled with awesomeness

This Friday has been awesome.

First off, a group from BBVA brought us doughnuts and coffee. They came downtown to do random acts of kindness and I was one of their many recipients.

Robert is walking out of the hospital today!

Robert is walking out of the hospital today!

And then, to top it off, a friend of mine sent me the most wonderful praise report!

In May, her son was in a horrible accident at work. It was really touch and go for a while. He had a lot of internal bleeding and they were saying he wouldn’t be about to walk for a really long time. I immediately put her family on my prayer list.

Here’s the latest report I received, along with a picture:

Update: It will be therapy for a while and he still has a hole in his bladder. He is walking with a walker, but without anyone assisting him. The bladder is still healing itself slowly.He is on less pain meds though at times he still hurts pretty bad. But, after being told he would be wheelchair bound for 8-9 months, a walker is A OK.

I can’t think of a better way to start the weekend. This is such good news!

Today’s post is not long, but this exciting news has really got me thinking about prayer…

Let’s talk about it some more tomorrow, okay?

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God’s love is for you

The monster I had to fight with every night was rejection.

I was the poster child for good kids everywhere, but something was still missing. The praise of my family and friends never satisfied me–though I wanted their praise to keep coming.

The two people I wanted acceptance from had ditched me a long time ago. That’s who I was trying please.

See, Mom and Dad, I’m worth something. I’m not a mistake. You were wrong about me.

Rejection would growl:

Stay on the ground, Audra. You can’t win this one. No one will ever accept you.

I believed him too.

For a long time, I even let this monster keep me from experiencing God’s love.

God's loveOh, I knew about God’s love, but it couldn’t be for me. This was my logic: If your parents–who are supposed to model the love of God–reject you, that must mean that God can’t love you.

It wasn’t until my 20s that I truly surrendered all of my heart to God. He came to me in the most tender way, whispering in my ear that His acceptance and love didn’t have anything to do with where I started from.

Today, during a time of prayer, I was overwhelmed with gratitude while remembering where God found me–in a man-made pit of despair–and how He lovingly pulled me out of it.

And God wants to do the same for you, friend.

Don’t listen to the monsters from your past. They are lying to you! I promise.

The love of God is not far from you. It’s as close as your next breath.

What’s holding you back from truly receiving it?

Shoot me an email if you want to talk about this some more.

audragkennedy@gmail.com

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Helping with a willing heart

I talk on the phone a lot at work. It’s not my most favorite thing to do, but it’s a big part of my job description.

I work as an office manager for a self-storage and property management company, so most of my calls are about rates and hours and such. Sometimes people call me to ask for recommendations for moving companies or even for other storage companies in the area.

I have actually learned quite a bit by helping these people.

It wasn’t until today, though, that I realized they were not doing any research before calling me–not even a quick Google search.

My first response was annoyance. What a waste of my time!

But, as I’ve sat down and thought about it, what does it hurt for me to help them?

Absolutely nothing.

In fact, as I mentioned earlier, helping them is really helping me.

Sure, they are most likely not going to use my business. And that’s okay! We are not suffering.

I added three new customers last week. Our numbers are very consistent even in the slow times.

Every industry on this planet is in the people business. Ignoring customer service is not an option.

Without people, all of the widgets we make and the services we offer are completely useless.

And yet we treat others like they are only distractions from our to-do list or merely rungs to the top of the corporate ladder.

I am convicted by my annoyance.

Who do I think I am?

Who do any of us think we are?

If you have no room in your schedule to help others–even if they do nothing to help you in return–you need to do some serious reevaluation of how you spend your time.

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Note to self: Don’t panic

don't forgetTimes are tough.

Four Marines are dead.

ISIS is killing Christians.

The definition of marriage is under attack.

Political correctness is ruining our society.

But, as Christians, we can’t allow these hardships to keep us from our mission: To share the gospel and make disciples. blog 2

Jesus said things like:

Turn the other cheek.

If someone makes you walk one mile, go two.

Love and pray for your enemies.

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

If I’m not careful, I spend too much time focusing on all the bad things. I shake my head at the depravity of man and forget that at one time I was depraved too.

But we still have time! The world hasn’t ended yet!

If we’re still here, that means our mission isn’t over.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. His name is Jesus.

My goal for the next bit is to simply shine the light of Christ into the dark places, showing those who are still wandering the way home.

It’s time to stop freaking out about the darkness when we have the light of the world–and all His power–at our disposal.

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My mirror laughs at all my jokes

I simply can’t look at myself in a mirror without making funny faces. 

And, this might seem a little strange, but I often find myself laughing at the funny faces I make. But then again, I often laugh at my own jokes. (Why would you tell a joke that you, yourself, wouldn’t laugh at?)

I’ll explain more about this odd introduction a bit later….

Silly face!

Silly face!

Mirrors are a lot like guns, money, and social status. They are not evil in and of themselves.

 When you stand in front of a mirror, it’s not saying or implying anything.

All of those critical voices you hear as you stand in front of a mirror?

Wow, you’re looking pudgy!

Look at those wrinkles!

Did you get dressed in the dark?

Your sister, brother, mother’s cousin’s boyfriend looks better than you.

Yeah. The mirror is not saying those things. (And, if it is, run!!!!)

The voices we’re hearing sound a lot like ourselves or the critical people in our lives.

It’s true. The mirror is not our enemy.

We need to stop hating the mirror and start dealing with the real monster: Our self-perception.

Which brings me to why I make funny faces…..

It’s because I like who I am as a person and I’m not going to let negative chatter slow me down anymore. I get that there are some flaws, but guess what? That’s a part of life.

If you blame the mirror–or someone else–for your faulty perception nothing will change. Then you’ll just be angry and bitter, which will only make it worse.

Changing how you think about yourself? Now that changes everything.

So, next time you’re in front of a mirror and the voices start screaming, make a funny face and tell them to buzz off, okay?