Character Corner

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Internal Dialogue Syndrome

Today’s post won’t be long. I simply want to plant a seed about a topic I plan to discuss over the next few days.

How many times have you walked away from a conversation thinking:

I should’ve said this or that! Why did I just stand there and let him or her talk to me that way? Here’s what I should’ve done…

Well, I have this internal dialogue at least three times a week.

What’s stopping me and you from speaking up?

That’s all I’m going to say for now. Take some time to think about it, okay?

If you’re feeling brave, I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment below.

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Note to Self: Don’t Ride the Gossip Train

don't forgetI remember a game frequently played in my elementary school. The class would sit in a circle and a student was given a certain phrase by the teacher such as “Susie Q ate beef stew.” That student then had to whisper the phrase into the next student’s ear and so on. By the time it went around the room, “Mark W. liked dogs.” 

If you’re thinking, “That’s a lot like gossip!” You would be correct. It is gossip plain and simple.

And gossip is not an acceptable means to discern a person’s character. I’ve been working extra hard to not let the things I hear about someone affect my opinion of them before I even meet them.  

Have you ever shared a cup of coffee with a friend you thought you knew only to discover your perception of them was completely wrong?

 gossip problemMany friendships are left uncultivated because of a faulty perception and I’m tired of missing opportunities!

Furthermore, let’s extend some grace to each other.

I’m not always perfect. And I bet if you were being honest, you aren’t either. 

It’s easy to throw someone else under the bus and forget that last month, last week, yesterday…you needed a good dose of grace too.

Don’t be afraid to ditch gossip and extend grace. It could make all the difference. 

The bottom line is that perception is not often reality.       

 

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Help Wanted!

My birthday is a week from today.

Do you know what that means?

Daily blogs are about to begin!!!

I know that my consistency has been, well, pretty bad in my test drive, which leads to my next point:

 

As you can see, my blogging muscle isn't quite ripped yet.

As you can see, my blogging muscle isn’t quite ripped yet.

Three things I hope to gain by doing this little experiment.

1. Discipline. (Did you see that coming?)

2. Better writing skills. (I have a long way to go.)

3. Idea development. (It’s time to flesh out the ideas that fly around my head.)

With these things in mind, I need some help!

audra needs helpWhat are some topics that you, my faithful reader, want me to write about?

Even with all of my ideas, 365 days of posting is a lot to undertake with no help.

And, I want to open up my blog to guest bloggers as well. Bring in some fresh blood to generate good conversation amongst ourselves. Maybe you might write a post? (I’d really, really like that btw.)

Please share your thoughts. I realize that a lot of my reasoning for writing everyday is for my character development, but a blog without readership is quite boring….

That’s all I have for today.

I am very excited about the next year. This is the most challenging thing I have ever committed to doing. Honestly, I have no predictions for where this will lead. I just know that it’s something that I need to do.

Thank you for going on this journey with me.

Comment below with your suggestions!

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Vote for your dreams!

It’s June.

Do you know what that means?

2015 New Year celebration with the date outlined by colourful fiery sparklers on a dark New Year's Eve night

We are halfway through 2015.

I’m a big believer in evaluating progress, so I have been thinking through my goals. In some areas, I’m doing pretty good (blogging and sign language). In other areas, I need more work (running and Bible reading).

Today, a quote from Napoleon Dynamite popped into my head:

“If you vote for me, all of your wildest dreams will come true.” –Pedro Sanchez

Isn’t it hard to work toward your dreams?

There are so many things begging for our attention: Internet, TV, and all the flavors of social media.

dream voteI can make up a million excuses. In fact, in thinking about my year so far, I have made over a million excuses, forfeiting valuable time because I am scared or apathetic or both.

Our most valuable asset in this life is time.

How many times have you heard this statement?

“If you want to know what’s most important to you, look at how you spend your time.”

I have brushed this statement off as a dusty, old motivational speaker cliché, but it’s so true! My biggest problem is how I consistently waste time on meaningless things.

Our dreams, much like Pedro Sanchez, need our votes to survive. Our dreams are campaigning daily for our attention.

new-years-resolutionThere are so many things I want to do. I know that it will take a lot of hard work on my part.

My wimpy, inconsistent self is pitching a fit because it’s getting the workout of its life. It would rather watch movies and sleep in every morning.

For this reason, my goal for the remainder of this year is to be mindful of my time.

How we spend our time truly is the best measuring stick when it comes to evaluating progress.

 

 

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Note to Self: Avoid the Success Trap

Help Wanted: So, I need to up my game. Everyday blogging begins a month from tomorrow and I am not doing so hot in my practice round…..you guys hold me accountable, okay?

don't forgetI want to return to our Note to Self series and begin with an area where our worth is most attacked:

Our jobs.

Most of us spend 40 hours a week or more at our jobs. I know many people want to believe that work doesn’t matter. I understand the logic behind this thought. In the grand scheme of life, work is only one part of our identities.

However, I think anything that consumes 40+ hours of our time is important. Or should I say, because it’s a major time investment, our viewpoint about work is important.

I spend more time at my job than I do anywhere else. I can’t speak of any other region in America, but in the South having the right job title or working for a certain company is a big status symbol. Success is tied the company–not to you–so a lot is riding on where you work.

success exit

 A few months ago, I came face to face with this reality because a comment from a high school acquaintance of mine was relayed back to me. This friend is doing quite well and was asking how I was doing.

When told that I was working as an office manager, the friend was a bit shocked, “I thought Audra would be more successful than that. She was so smart in school!”

I also was in shock after hearing of this exchange, but for a totally different reason.

Why would I not be considered successful because I am working as an office manager?

Seriously. It’s a great job and has given me invaluable skills, which I can use for the rest of my life.

I decided to not step into the success trap at that moment. It was not an easy choice. My worth was on the line and I had to dig deep, calling on my courage to stand against the norm.  

success failure

The definition of success today is so skewed and so narrow that I refuse to be defined by it.

Here are two phrases that I want to eliminate:

I’m just a…..

and

I’m only a…..

Nothing good follows these phrases.

Stop measuring your worth by the status of “importance” your job receives from society. You are worth so much more than any artificial label can give you.

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Kiss the Fish!

  Side note: I haven’t forgotten about the Note to Self series. It just needs a little more attention than I’ve had to dedicate to the topic over the course of Memorial Day weekend. Bear with me, okay? 

I want to throw a quick thought out for your consideration. 

What is one thing you’re afraid of trying? 

Others have told you to give it a go. The passion to work hard on this activity, project, etc. is there. You just can’t do it. Or even worse: You won’t try it. 

Let me give you an example. 

This past weekend I was fishing with friends. My first fish was caught on their pier, which I soon found out involved a tradition. 

They wanted me to kiss the fish…

My answer was a hearty no. I don’t kiss frogs or fish or any other animal. 

My friends begged me and I continued to refuse. The moment passed and we all moved on.  

Later that afternoon, I felt really bad for not playing along.

  What harm could come from kissing a fish?
 I missed an opportunity to joke around with my friends and share a fun moment. 

Sure, that situation is not a big deal, but how many chances zoom by because I won’t be brave in the little things?

 Being the resident stick in the mud is the best way to miss out on life.  

A small act can lead to big things. And in my case? Maybe a bigger fish. Who knows?

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Note to Self: Remembering What’s Important

don't forgetI leave a paper trail wherever I go.

Sticky notes, notebooks, Evernote….I have to capture ideas, tasks, and all other vital information down as fast as I can or it flies out of my brain.

And I think the biggest reminder we need is about our worth.

Many of us go through life feeling less than important.

The mirror, our bank account, and the naysayers point out the flaws.

Negative things stack up a lot faster than positive things–if we allow it.

There are so many things that are supposed to lead to happiness and joy and a “fulfilled” life. If you buy into the lies out there, you’ll walk around confused about your worth.  

That’s what I want us to explore together over the next few days.

So, here’s a question for you:

What dictates the worth and purpose of your life?  

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Navigating Construction Zones

  Construction zones are everywhere. I drive through two to three each day. The world around me is exploding with new buildings and improved roads. When I think about redeveloping an impoverished area or new businesses starting up, I get excited. 

My favorite kind of progress , though, is when people change for the better. 

The terrain of pain, shame, and hopelessness transforming into a landscape of beauty and joy right before my eyes. 

And we are all progressing in one direction or the other. No one lives in a neutral state. 

We all have construction zones. 

Like I said earlier, construction isn’t bad, but it can be tricky to navigate at times. Traffic jams will happen when heavy machinery is in use. 

Keeping people at a distance until construction is over is not a good idea. 

Getting frustrated at the construction zone surrounding a friend’s life is pointless. 

What’s the answer then?

  • Keep your eyes on the everyday progress.
  •  See the improvements and additions as victories. 
  • View difficulty as the temporary setback that it really is. 

Our lives will always have some kind of construction zones in them. 

Demolition projects, remodeling, additions, or touch ups. The level of construction depends on the person. 

Learn to navigate the changes gracefully. This is one skill we all need to master–for the sake of others and for the sake of our own sanity. 

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Your Goals Need Feet, Part 2

  We talked yesterday about your goals needing feet. I thought we’d spend today looking more at what that means. 

A lot of people are planners. They will create detailed lists of work that needs to be done. Each of their goals have nifty pie charts and deadlines on the calendar. 

Some people are dreamers, idea people. They can help everyone else figure out what to do, but they can’t seem to get their own act together. 

And then there are doers. 

Doers are people with a dream, a plan, and….feet. They get moving toward the life they desire. They are consistent, disciplined, and focused. 

Maybe you have a dream and a plan that maps out the next 20 years of your life.

 But what are you doing?

Committing to blog every day for a year is a big step for me. I’m not sure where this path will lead. I’ve never made this kind of commitment before and stuck with it. 

But here I am. Daring to dream big and work hard for something I want. 

What is the next step you need to take?

 Let’s go on this adventure together. I’ll be walking right along side you, but only you can move your feet. 

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Your Goals Need Feet

  I got this jewelry box for Christmas. It’s been hanging up on my wall since then and I still haven’t added any pictures. 

While I was drying my hair this morning, it occurred to me that many of us need to add some pictures to our lives. 

The fake families and individuals in picture frames represent daily living. These pictures are merely fillers. 

You are supposed to go out into the world and make picture worthy memories of your own. But many of us don’t. 
The idea that it’s possible to live vicariously through others needs to die.

 You can’t leave fake pictures in your picture frames and think it’s the real deal. 

Go out into the world and do something.

 Make some memories with friends and family. Volunteer your time instead of just writing a check. 

I am calling 2015 the “Year of Doing” for a reason. I was sick of dreaming and wishing for things to happen. At 24 years old, my regrets were starting to pile up high. 

 I determined to put some feet on my goals. 

Now on to my next task: putting pictures in the frames…