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Becoming friends with failure

My relationship with gravity is a bit tricky….

Cracks in the sidewalks? They are my enemy. I’m pretty sure they snicker every time I trip. Dancing in front of people? Not gonna happen. I will not be on Dancing with the Stars anytime soon.

I always look around if I fall or spill my drink or knock the entire contents of my purse onto the floor.

It’s embarrassing. No one else is that clumsy, right? No one else falls or makes mistakes or….

How ridiculous does this sound? Of course other people make mistakes! Of course they trip and fall on their behinds.

Me dancing like no one's watching (even though everyone was watching).

Me dancing like no one’s watching (even though everyone was watching).

So why spend so much time running away from failure?

For me, it’s because I don’t want to look like an idiot. I’m not the biggest fan of taking risks and it’s a lot easier to blend in. I want to stay safe and comfortable.

Safety and comfort are bad friends. They tell a lot of lies.

Yes, yes. That’s way too hard for you. Just stay back here and watch so-and-so. They are a lot better at it than you anyway.

Failing at something doesn’t make you a failure.

Scientists don’t cry because their experiment didn’t work out the first time. They just say, “Uh. That didn’t work out. Okay. Let’s try it again, but tweak this and that.”

Athletes don’t freak out when they miss a goal. Sure, they may be disappointed, but they just work harder to make the next shot.

We all fail. We all make mistakes. You’re not alone, okay?

Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from trying new and exciting things.

Here’s what many people won’t tell you:

Success has a little brother. His name is Failure. They actually have a great relationship. And you can’t be friends with one without being friends with the other.

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Note to Self: Avoid the Success Trap

Help Wanted: So, I need to up my game. Everyday blogging begins a month from tomorrow and I am not doing so hot in my practice round…..you guys hold me accountable, okay?

don't forgetI want to return to our Note to Self series and begin with an area where our worth is most attacked:

Our jobs.

Most of us spend 40 hours a week or more at our jobs. I know many people want to believe that work doesn’t matter. I understand the logic behind this thought. In the grand scheme of life, work is only one part of our identities.

However, I think anything that consumes 40+ hours of our time is important. Or should I say, because it’s a major time investment, our viewpoint about work is important.

I spend more time at my job than I do anywhere else. I can’t speak of any other region in America, but in the South having the right job title or working for a certain company is a big status symbol. Success is tied the company–not to you–so a lot is riding on where you work.

success exit

 A few months ago, I came face to face with this reality because a comment from a high school acquaintance of mine was relayed back to me. This friend is doing quite well and was asking how I was doing.

When told that I was working as an office manager, the friend was a bit shocked, “I thought Audra would be more successful than that. She was so smart in school!”

I also was in shock after hearing of this exchange, but for a totally different reason.

Why would I not be considered successful because I am working as an office manager?

Seriously. It’s a great job and has given me invaluable skills, which I can use for the rest of my life.

I decided to not step into the success trap at that moment. It was not an easy choice. My worth was on the line and I had to dig deep, calling on my courage to stand against the norm.  

success failure

The definition of success today is so skewed and so narrow that I refuse to be defined by it.

Here are two phrases that I want to eliminate:

I’m just a…..

and

I’m only a…..

Nothing good follows these phrases.

Stop measuring your worth by the status of “importance” your job receives from society. You are worth so much more than any artificial label can give you.

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Note to Self: Remembering What’s Important

don't forgetI leave a paper trail wherever I go.

Sticky notes, notebooks, Evernote….I have to capture ideas, tasks, and all other vital information down as fast as I can or it flies out of my brain.

And I think the biggest reminder we need is about our worth.

Many of us go through life feeling less than important.

The mirror, our bank account, and the naysayers point out the flaws.

Negative things stack up a lot faster than positive things–if we allow it.

There are so many things that are supposed to lead to happiness and joy and a “fulfilled” life. If you buy into the lies out there, you’ll walk around confused about your worth.  

That’s what I want us to explore together over the next few days.

So, here’s a question for you:

What dictates the worth and purpose of your life?  

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The Worst Millennial Ever

millennials

The title of this post says it all. I am the worst millennial ever.

Hashtags, Twitter, Snapchat, and don’t even get me started on LinkedIn.

Sigh.

Can someone please explain all of these social media tools to me?

Instagram is simple enough for anyone to use. Take a picture, add a caption, and BAM! The world can see how awesome your filtered life really is.

Facebook? It’s the grandpa of all social media. I mean, it beat Myspace and took over as the Yo-Mama! of all social media. Zuckerberg’s empire is not going anywhere–even though the movie that explains it all is probably the worst….

Moving on…..

Why am I talking about this? Because I have a goal for this blog now. It’s quite simple.

Blog every day of my 25th year.

Sometimes the posts will be super serious.

Sometimes I will post a book review.

Sometimes  I will post a YouTube video with some commentary (it is a blog after all).

I don’t want to limit myself in what I choose to do. The only goal is to post something every day.

Which takes me back to being the worst millennial ever……

I need your help to improve my mad skills because right now I have none.

That’s another goal of mine for this upcoming year:

Figure out the complex world of the blogosphere and social media.

Any and all help is much appreciated.

For those of you know my birthday is in July, you might be wondering why I’m posting this now.

Thanks for asking!

It will take me that long to get into the habit.

Consistency is my kryptonite.

Now, to end the most random blog post ever…..

 

 

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Customer Service Matters

Do you remember your first job? I do. My first “real” job was as a college recruiter.

The dreams that I had of reaching out to college students, seeing them choose my college…I was so excited. Never mind that I came into the job toward the end of the recruiting season. My numbers were going to be awesome!

I remember the first student that I recruited. The feeling of accomplishment was overwhelming. I gave that student and her family the royal treatment. No request was too big or small.

The same thrill comes to me anytime I sell a product online or at my booth. “They chose me!” I think, “What can I do to help them further?”

A satisfied customer is akin to a drug high for me. Presenting a product. Closing a deal. What could be better?

I never want to lose this excitement.

Going back to my time as a college recruiter, I realize that I wasn’t the best. My colleagues were way ahead of me in their numbers. But I know that the students I recruited received the best of my time and effort.

Many businesses are too focused on the end goal: meeting their quota. Customers become another tick mark instead of being treated as an invaluable asset. Lots of my business colleagues are on straight commission. They’re often much better at grasping the importance of people to their success.

Comfy, unseasoned “professionals” are the only ones silly enough to ignore the value of great customer service. Maybe a few months of bologna sandwiches and Vienna sausages will wake them up.

The entire economy is in the people business. Clever sales techniques and fancy websites will only take you so far.

A high level of customer service–a great respect for other people–is key.

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Recalibrating Your Goals

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Sorry for falling off the face of the planet. I wish there was some stellar excuse that would sound better than “life happened” but I have nothing…

Along these lines, we’re halfway through 2014. Do you know what that means? Progress report time!

Are you reaching the goals that you set for yourself?

Here’s a simple way to measure progress:

Write out your goals. On a scale of 1 to 10, with one being the farthest from goal completion, how close are you to reaching those goals?

If you’re like me, you probably have several in the -1 category. That’s where my blogging goal has been until today. I’m now back at 0 because of this post. However, in other areas, I’m in the 7-8 range.

That’s the cool thing about goals. You can celebrate big victories and mourn small failures. Either way, at least you’re doing something.

This is not a natural thought progression for me. In fact, my stepmom is a major source of encouragement in this area. She reviews her goals every 6 months or so. That helps her not go insane when a bad day creeps up.

Because the bad days will come.

You won’t work on something or your schedule will change at the last minute or a deadline will be missed. And a goal gets left behind in the dust.

It’s time to dust off your goals.

There’s still time! A simple shift in how you gauge progress can breathe new life into any project or goal. Let’s look past the day-to-day and start thinking more long term.

We have five months left in 2014. I wonder how much we can accomplish together in that time.

Question: What’s your #1 goal for this year?

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The Art of Effective Planning

I love to create lists and plans, organizing my life into manageable sections of activity. Not to mention that marking things off a to-do list is absolutely empowering.

If you think I’m a bit strange, there have been entire books devoted to planning, organization, and lists. Most experts agree that creating a good plan or list is an art. It’s all about finding what works for you.

This is no joke. I’ve pinpointed several good strategies that have really worked. My overall productivity has increased dramatically as a result.

It’s always a good idea to begin with the ideal conditions in mind. If the weather is perfect, everyone shows up, and you ordered the right amount of food…this is the basis of a good plan. Always plan for the ideal, but be prepared for the unexpected. The worst thing you can do is have no plan if something goes wrong.

Don’t make it harder on yourself—you haven’t even included the people yet.

Not everyone sees the benefit of following your well-crafted, ingenious plan. Not everyone gets the memo or likes what you have lined up. Some people won’t understand what you’re asking them to do no matter how you explain it. Like I said, implementing the execution of a plan is a lot harder than creating it. Be prepared to factor in these obstacles as well.

And who knows? Maybe someone has a better idea of how to get something done. Don’t be a jerk. A good plan can only become better.

This advice has been tested. I used to be horrible about either not planning or freaking out when things didn’t go my way. True balance lies somewhere in the middle. Maybe what I’ve suggested won’t work for you. That’s okay too. Find something that does and go for it.

Here’s what you cannot afford to do any longer: To sit around and wonder why nothing is getting done. 

Question: What strategies have worked best for you when you’re planning something?

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Opening Doors of Opportunity

I have often heard of people praying for God to open doors for them. These same people usually ask God to close doors for them as well. This prayer has become the mantra of the masses and I only know this because I have prayed the same thing many, many times in hopes for a breakthrough.

One has to wonder if God ever gets tired of spending His time shutting and opening doors for us. Isn’t that the reason for discernment? I ask this question in the midst of decisions to be made in my own life.

Today I walked into town to run a few errands and something caught my eye: The door of the Marion Times-Standard office was open. I stopped just past the entrance and did a double take.

Go inside.

I paused a minute longer and continued on my way.

After I dropped off my dry cleaning, I traced my steps back to the office and obeyed. 

Here’s the truth about your dreams: No one is standing around thinking of ways to jumpstart them. I am quite sure there are plenty of people willing to help, but only you can start the process. The door being opened at the Marion Times-Standard definitely kick started my thinking, but the opportunity would have been there even if I opened the door myself.

I am ready to pursue opportunity. That means I might be rejected and criticized along the way. That means discouragement and apathy will whisper—no scream—in my ear as I work to become disciplined. However, my dreams are worth it—I am worth it—so I choose to pursue opportunity.

 No matter where you live one thing is certain: Men and women of vision and character are needed. It’s time to stop hiding out from our fears and uncertainties. Of course, you should always be on the lookout for open doors, but don’t be afraid to open them either.

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I’m Tired of Singing the Blues

Here in the last couple of weeks I have reclaimed my time. That’s right. Every night I write out my to-do list and that has drastically changed my day.

Why?

I am taking the time to plan out my day. Seriously, that’s it. There’s no ten step program or book that I am reading on efficiency. I am simply writing down what I have to do and then doing it.

This is a revolutionary concept.

NOT!

What’s revolutionary is that I am taking responsibility for myself.

Can you picture a world where everyone takes responsibility for themselves? Would you even be able to recognize this generation?

It’s time to grow up!

Gee, I wonder why my house is so messy…oh look! Another episode of Friends is coming on for the fiftieth time! I’ll mop the floor after it goes off.

How stupid.

I’ve accomplished so much more by turning off the TV and getting off my butt. In fact, I can barely stand to watch TV anymore.

What’s there to watch? The news? That’s depressing. Reality TV? It’s all rigged anyway. Cop shows? You see one episode, you’ve figured out the plot of every show.

I want to really live my life. Not just watch other people on TV and wish I was them. That’s kind of lame, okay? I’m sick of feeling lame and silly and wondering why life is passing me by.

Jesus laid down his life for me, so I could sit on my butt and do nothing?

What’s wrong with this picture?

EVERYTHING!  

Now, do not start believing I am Miss Wonderful. I’m just waking up, okay?

I struggle every day.

I make mistakes, I feel guilty, and I lament over missed opportunities.

However, I don’t want to be singing the blues for the rest of my life either.

I’m rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and moving on. Will you do the same?  

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Help Wanted: The Best Employment Agency Around

I just had a really funny thought.

What if praying about the future looked like a job interview.

Picture it:

“You see, Lord, I have a 4.0 GPA, I was ambassador president my senior year, and I have two years of blogging experience.”

(The Lord is sitting at his desk and begins reviewing the immaculate resume you just handed him.)

“Audra, I do believe that your qualifications will be just right for the job.”

(He goes to his computer and after a few mouse clicks begins printing off some information for your new job.)

Here’s the cool thing:

I do not believe that this scenario is far from the truth. The Father knows each and every one of his children very intimately.

Oh! Don’t forget that He is omnipotent and omnipresent as well.

When you are living in the center of God’s will, He is already moving on your behalf.

Who better to help you get a job?

I realize that there are a lot of people who are unemployed right now. In fact, this sounds all well and good IF you’re the one who has so many opportunities available and not the one sitting at home wondering how the bills will be paid. The last statement expresses how the majority of the world views faith—this includes Christians too.

I cannot speak for anyone but myself; however, I have heard many a testimony about how the Lord has opened up employment opportunities for his children. I want to trust that I am a part of God’s economy—not the world’s—and that means that all of my needs will be met.

To be honest, I have no idea what I will be doing this fall. All I know is that I am listening to my Father and walking in the direction he is leading me.

I hope that you are doing the same.