Why I can’t care

” I can’t care about that…” 

A friend of mine was telling me how someone else perceives me. I appreciated the input because I’m not a sociopath (meaning I’m incapable of feeling one way or the other).

If there’s some kind of weirdo behavior that I’m exhibiting and someone else notices then I want to know. 

The reason I said, “I can’t care about that” is quite simple:

I’m a recovering people pleaser. 

In the situation being discussed, there was absolutely nothing I could do about this person’s perception.

So, I just can’t care. 

The alternative is that I become an obsessive, anxious maniac who can’t function when said person is around.

No thank you. Not interested. Been there, bought the t-shirt. 

We can’t control how others think of us. Even if we could control it, that’s not a healthy way to live.

I don’t want to be a robot, so everyone else has to be a robot? Where’s the health in that situation?

Perception is a double-edged sword.

You’re in denial if you think it’s possible to not have a perception about someone, yet you have to be on guard against faulty perception.

I have learned that a faulty perception is the first step toward a bad judgment.

I’m actually proud of myself today because I spotted a situation that is beyond my control, decided to let it go, and articulated why I was letting it go to someone else (i.e. my friend and now my readers). 

This is a step in the right direction.

 

Trust is key 

I entered a busy season today. There’s a lot going on at school and work. 

It’s all good stuff, but it could easily become overwhelming if I let it. 

And we all know that stress and worry has never helped anyone. 

I’m doing my best to combat any anxious thoughts immediately by praying about them instead of fretting over them. 

It really works! 

In fact, I am more at peace now than I ever was in the past when facing similar situations. 

My trust in God has increased exponentially and I’m learning to bring it all to Him first–not as a last resort. 

One of the biggest lessons I’m learning at Rhema is that knowing something and doing something are very different. 

Yes, I have known for a long time that trusting God is key to a peaceful and fruitful life.

 I have many stories about how trusting God has pulled me out of many seemingly impossible situations. 

But living in Tulsa has only increased my opportunities to trust God more fully. 

Like Dean Tad says, “If you can move to Tulsa by faith, you can follow God anywhere by faith.”

Punch worry in the face 

Worry is stupid. 

Seriously, there’s no greater waste of time than to worry. It’s taken me 25 years to grasp this simple truth…

Today I faced a situation that could’ve taken the wind out of my sails, but I made a decision:

I chose to believe the Bible instead of all the negative junk. 

This one choice  made all the difference. 

I’m still not sure how everything will play out, but I trust God. 

He’s my provider. 

He knows all my needs. 

There are times my control freak, what’s-going -to-happen self fights for my attention. 

But I continue taking my mind back to God’s Word. The more I stay in the Word, the less the little things throw me off. 

Planning Vs. Living

It’s easy to look ahead—way ahead—and make plans. And there’s nothing wrong with plans. But all plans are subject to change at a minute’s notice. I cannot concretely tell you what I will be doing tomorrow or even an hour from now.

Some things are simply out of my control.

 That’s hard for me to accept. I want to perfectly map out my day, my week, my life.

I constantly have to say, “STOP! I don’t have to have everything figured out today!” That usually keeps my brain from exploding.

Here’s another thing that’s helped: I take a good look around me. I play a game with my siblings. We laugh and have a great time. I splash around in the pool with them and realize that they’re growing up before my eyes.

How much have I missed being so worried about tomorrow? Or today? Or next weekend?

 Because the truth is that I could drop dead at any moment. I know it’s a sobering and somewhat depressing realization, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

Now don’t go pitch your calendar and watch out the window. Don’t stop making plans. Just take a minute to ask yourself a few questions.

Are you glad to be alive today? 

Are your kids or grandkids or siblings growing up unnoticed?

Do you spend more time planning your life than actually living it?