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Internet 101: Learn what’s appropriate

I don’t have any kids of my own, but I strongly disagree with shame based parenting.

If your kid does something wrong, I agree there needs to be consequences.

You can discipline your kid, though, without humiliating them.

I read a story about a young girl who allegedly committed suicide after a video was posted online of her father cutting off her long hair. She was being punished for “getting messed up” which I think refers to drinking or doing drugs…not really sure.

Either way, I don’t know how cutting off her hair would help anything.

To be fair to the stories I read, the police are not connecting the suicide with the punishment. It does, however, bring up the conversation of shame based parenting.

Here’s some of the videos floating around YouTube this year:

  • A parent encouraging a child to beat up a sibling
  • Children standing at intersections holding up embarrassing signs
  • Parents berating their children

I know we’ve talked about this before, but not everything has to be posted online!

Videoing someone on his or her death bed is inappropriate.

Live tweeting a funeral is inappropriate.

Videoing discipline is inappropriate.

Once again, not everything has to be posted online!

The fact that someone has to say “This, this, and this should be kept offline” is absurd.

Being vulnerable in today’s world is hard enough without the threat of your most intimate, sometimes heartbreaking moments being posted online for all the world to see.

And how would you feel knowing that the people who are supposed to love you the most–your parents–are trying to humiliate you?

ALWAYS think before you post.

  1. Will this content cause another to suffer?
  2. Why do I want to share this with others?
  3. What if it was me?

More reading:

http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/shame-parenting-expert-article-1.2347317

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3111907/Girl-13-commits-suicide-jumping-bridge-video-dad-cutting-hair-punishment-posted-online.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sherrie-campbell-phd/inspire-healthy-self-este_b_6437472.html

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Internet 101: Don’t write opinion (I mean, open) letters

I’ve noticed a lot of open letters floating around the internet.

Did you know there’s even a definition for them?

An open letter is:

“A letter, often critical, addressed to a particular person or group of people but intended for publication.”

Here’s Audra’s definition:

“An letter is your opinion–masked in self-righteousness–and broadcasted to the world because you don’t actually have a voice in that person or group’s life.

Own up to your opinion, okay?

Don’t hide behind an open letter and say, “Just sayin’…you (and the rest of the world) needed to know.”

Letters–real letters–are very personal. Someone took the time to sit down and express their thoughts. It went out to a special person and led to a deeper relationship.

Blasting out hate mail in the form of an open letter is wrong. Plain and simple.

I’m not saying there haven’t been good open letters too.

But everyone knows the truth.

A letter to “the poor, lonely soul in the corner” is about the writer expressing their opinion as another “poor, lonely soul in the corner”. (To all poor, lonely souls: Please don’t stay that way because I stopped an open letter from being written to you.)

I hope open letters are not how our generation chooses to communicate.

I don’t see the need to write open letters.

If I want to share my opinion, I’ll just blog about it.

Wait a minute!!!!!

You mean my blog is entirely based on my perception of the world?

Like an open letter?

Mind blown.

There are so many ways to express yourself online–without hiding behind anything.

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Internet 101: Think before you post

It’s really easy to be mean on the internet.

You can leave a comment or tweet anonymously.

You can post sarcastic memes in an attempt to be clever.

The sky’s the limit in the worst kind of way.

I know that the internet has a lot of good purposes, but that also means it casts shadows as well.

There is–and always will be–two sides: good and evil, right and wrong.

Be on guard as you use social media platforms.

Be on guard as you send emails.

Be on guard as you blog.

There are many days that I could get on here and share all kinds of things. My emotions and feelings can kick into overdrive faster than I realize.

But not everything has to be shared with the world.

Self-control is needed in this area.

My newsfeed on Facebook and Twitter is a mess…

Some things are mean, others are just silly and pointless.

Nothing surprises me anymore when it comes to what people will and will not share online.

This oversharing pandemic happens because many of us have never experienced the depth of a tight knit community.

Our culture’s tendency is to walk through life alone, without friends and family there in the crucial moments.

So we get online and start blabbing and blabbing and blabbing.

Or we hide our anger and resentment behind clever statuses and tweets.

This bad cultural trend will lead us down a dark path if we’re not careful.

Beware, my friend, of what you share.

Think before you post.

Get some real, two-dimensional friends who offer support–not just likes and re-tweets.

I am not a hater of technology, but we have to get a grip.

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My brain fell out of my open mind

I think that our culture has forgotten what it means to be open-minded.

Here’s my definition of open-mindedness:

I know what I believe, but I am willing to hear your thoughts. My belief system will not be shattered if we happen to disagree.

Scroll through your newsfeed or listen to talk radio. That’s not what’s happening.

We’re so “open-minded” that we can’t imagine anyone else’s open mind being offended.

Healthy debate is being replaced by political correctness.

Here is our society’s filter when making decisions today:

What if they become angry? What if they cry themselves to sleep every night? What if they’re upset, eat 12 pints of Ben and Jerry’s, and become fat? How can we make sure that everyone is happy?

Look, I went to counseling for a year. My counselor told me that trying to make others happy will only lead to my misery.

Happiness is a choice we all have to make for ourselves.

I’m tired of this politically correct world we live in. It’s exhausting.

No wonder it’s easier to maintain shallow friendships via social media than it is to hang out in real time.

Most people live in a constant state of offense.

You can’t talk about anything but the weather, cat memes, and Candy Crush. 

We’re so afraid to hurt each others feelings that it’s just easier to not talk about the hard things.

Our “open-minded” society, I’m afraid, is lonely. We desire connection, but can’t handle what it means.

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The Worst Millennial Ever

millennials

The title of this post says it all. I am the worst millennial ever.

Hashtags, Twitter, Snapchat, and don’t even get me started on LinkedIn.

Sigh.

Can someone please explain all of these social media tools to me?

Instagram is simple enough for anyone to use. Take a picture, add a caption, and BAM! The world can see how awesome your filtered life really is.

Facebook? It’s the grandpa of all social media. I mean, it beat Myspace and took over as the Yo-Mama! of all social media. Zuckerberg’s empire is not going anywhere–even though the movie that explains it all is probably the worst….

Moving on…..

Why am I talking about this? Because I have a goal for this blog now. It’s quite simple.

Blog every day of my 25th year.

Sometimes the posts will be super serious.

Sometimes I will post a book review.

Sometimes  I will post a YouTube video with some commentary (it is a blog after all).

I don’t want to limit myself in what I choose to do. The only goal is to post something every day.

Which takes me back to being the worst millennial ever……

I need your help to improve my mad skills because right now I have none.

That’s another goal of mine for this upcoming year:

Figure out the complex world of the blogosphere and social media.

Any and all help is much appreciated.

For those of you know my birthday is in July, you might be wondering why I’m posting this now.

Thanks for asking!

It will take me that long to get into the habit.

Consistency is my kryptonite.

Now, to end the most random blog post ever…..