Fumes and a prayer

Prayers start going up fast when I’m sitting on empty, which happens about once a week because I still haven’t learned my lesson. 

Waiting until the last possible second to buy gas is not a good idea. 

  • No matter how cheap gas is on the other side of town. 
  • No matter if you have to make a U-turn to get into the station. 
  • No matter how cold or hot it is outside. 

Stop and buy the gas!

Russian roulette is a bad game to play late at night on the freeway. 

Driving on fumes and a prayer can only get you so far. 

I made it home safely tonight, but my procrastination almost landed me in the dog house. 

No longer a victim

Sometimes I miss the walls around my heart.

This statement might shock you, but it’s true.

Many years ago, I watched a documentary about Patty Hearst. She was kidnapped at age 19 and a few months later was helping her captors commit crimes.

Seems kind of crazy, right?

Instead of being freed from her captors and returned home, she was thrown in jail. The case led to a long discussion about Stockholm Syndrome, which is when a victim begins to have positive feelings toward his or her captors.

The consensus was that Patty Hearst deserved her punishment, but President Jimmy Carter eventually pardoned her.

This brings me back to the walls around my heart. It’s easier for me to disengage than to risk pain. My dad and stepmom call me out on it all the time.

“Audra, you know what to do. You always have a choice.”

The gap between knowledge and action trips us up all the time.

  • You’re a diabetic who refuses to cut back on dessert.
  • You’re a procrastinator who refuses to turn off the TV or computer.
  • You’re an alcoholic who refuses to leave the party lifestyle.

It’s easier to give in than it is to put up a fight.

The hardest part in my own journey is knowing that personal responsibility still knocks at my door.

IMG_1563If I hide behind walls, I am choosing to hurt someone else.

Even if I didn’t mean to.

Even if I did.

I can’t blame psychology either. Stockholm Syndrome is real, no doubt, but it can’t negate the power of choice.

You and I are not victims anymore.

Those tired, old excuses for poor behavior won’t get us far.

Breaking News: Workers go on strike at the Excuse Factory

 Forgot an appointment? To pay a bill? A birthday?

Mess up on the job? At home?

Mean to your husband? Wife? Kid? Friend?

It wasn’t really your fault….no, no, no!

Just make an excuse and get out of it.

Need a few good ones?

  1. My computer crashed.
  2. I didn’t see your voicemail.
  3. Your email was in my junk mail.
  4. I forgot about our plans.
  5.  The zombies made me do it (which is better than “The dog ate my homework.”)

All of these–minus the last one–are valid reasons for not doing something, but let’s be honest:

We’ve all used good, valid reasons to excuse poor, inexcusable behavior.

strike 1Accepting responsibility is taboo. No one likes to be wrong or admit their mistakes. I get it. I don’t like to be wrong or admit my mistakes.

Owning up to our shortcomings is on the list with filing taxes and going to the dentist.

strike 2

Guess what?

If I don’t file my taxes, the IRS won’t pet my head and say, “No problem, Ms. Kennedy, we understand that this isn’t fun for you. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

If I don’t go to the dentist, my teeth will fall out and I’ll look like all the rednecks on the news….(this is why I choose to go to the dentist, btw. I have an irrational fear of being a stereotypical redneck.)

Shut down the excuse factory. Tell the truth. Face the consequences. And then move on.

You’ll never learn and grow from your shortcomings if you don’t admit you have them.