One Uppers and Comparisons

We’ve all told a story and had someone pull a one up.

I’ve told a one up story or two or twenty….

It’s something that I am more conscious of now as I hang out with friends because there’s nothing worse than being one upped.

No one likes a One Upper either.

Here’s an example:

My first bass

My first bass

I went fishing this summer and caught two (small) large mouth bass–my first–along with a few brim and trash fish. It was a big deal for me! I was excited. Pictures were taken and hoorahs were shared with my family.

A few days later, I told an acquaintance about the trip.

“That’s nothing. I’ve caught 25 fish during one trip.”

My first catfish

My first catfish (It was a baby)

I had to admit their story was better.

Fishing is something I enjoy, but I’m not very good at it. I could’ve caught a lot of fish that day. However, my dead cat like reflexes, combined with being distracted by the beauty of the scene around me, meant that many fish passed me by (after eating my bait, of course).

I was still proud, though, of my two fish.

My conversation ended like this:

“Wow. It sounds like you had a great time. I’m pretty sure I haven’t caught 25 fish in my lifetime. But I am proud of my haul. I had fun too.”

Remember how I told you perfectionism is the enemy?

Comparison is an enemy too.

Someone will always be bigger, better, prettier, more talented, and smarter than you.

But what the world needs is for you to show up.

There’s only one ____________ (insert your name here).

You are special.

I know it’s easy to forget–I do it all the time!

Some days it feels like I’m the most average, boring person in the world.

But that is not true.

Put your measuring stick away.

You are special.

You are enough.

Facing old enemies

Perfectionism really is the enemy. 

Everything you’ve heard about perfectionism is true. 

You will never win and nothing will be enough when you’re a perfectionist. 

I am a recovering perfectionist. 

  And today I experienced a major relapse. 

Normally, as I learn sign language, making mistakes does not bother me. 

Today, though, I froze while voice interpreting and I did not recover well from the stumble either. 

I allowed my mistake to throw me off. A few tears were shed…

My old fiend, Perfection, mocked me and I listened. He’s close friends with Satan, so he’s really good at his job. 

Thankfully, my friend and mentor refused to let me stew over the mishap for too long. 

I’m glad she stopped me from hanging out in that ditch. 

If you find yourself in a ditch today, I want to help you get out too. Don’t allow perfectionism to steal your joy and happiness. 

Do your best and move on!

Keep trying!

And know that I–and all the other encouragers in your life–will not let you stay in the ditch. 

Get back on the road where you belong. 

A conversation with God

Prayer is a fancy word that means talking to God. It’s a divine conversation that is special and grows richer and deeper with time.

Think about your best friend. I bet you didn’t meet he or she in one day and the next day start bearing your soul.

Prayer, much like the other spiritual disciplines, takes time to grow.

Now, it’s also not complicated either. Just open your mouth and talk to God. He loves it when you talk to him!

Tell him about your day, thank him for the many blessings in your life, and go to him on behalf of others.

I talk to God a lot in the car. He’s my favorite road trip buddy. I tell him about my sadness and burdens. I tell him how excited I am. And, a lot of times, I just tell God how thankful I am. We just talk as I drive. It’s awesome!

My point in sharing all of this is simple.

A lot of people make prayer really hard. They think God’s too busy or not interested. None of those things are true.

He always has time to hang out and talk to you.

Spend some time this weekend talking to God. Don’t hold anything back.

And, don’t be too surprised when God starts talking to you too. He’ll speak words of comfort, encouragement, and direction.

Reason to Celebrate

A couple of years ago I believed I would never have a relationship with my dad. I wanted to meet him but figured it would be one of those awkward “Hi, I’m your kid. Tell me your family’s medical history and I’ll be glad to get out of your hair” moments. We’d drink a cup of coffee, talk about the weather, and then go our separate ways.

I’m so glad that’s not how it went.

Despite the time I have with my dad now, I know what it’s like to grow up without parents. In fact, I used to be one of the most bitter and resentful people when it came to my parents.

No matter what anyone tells you kids want their parents to be around. But I used to be quick to tell you that I didn’t need my parents because I was getting along just fine without them.

Did I mention that I was a pretty good actress as well?

I was so excited to have my dad around that I started sifting through my life and got very critical. It’s like I had to find some way to reconcile my past and my present in order to make sense of it all.  

I forgot just how blessed I was to have grandparents who raised me like their own. I forgot how many people grafted me into their families.

Psalm 68: 6 says that God sets the solitary in families. He certainly did that for me.

So this Father’s Day I’m not just celebrating the restoration of my relationship with my dad. I’m also celebrating that my Heavenly Father blessed me with lots of family when I needed it most.

It’s my prayer that I can encourage those who are walking through a similar situation. I had a lot of people who helped me through, so how can I not do the same? 

The “Old Faithful” Kind of Friend

I have never been to Yellowstone National Park, but I hear that it’s beautiful. The one site everyone talks about is Old Faithful. This geyser is infamous for living up to its name. Can you imagine how bored park employees must get telling the same thing to enthusiastic travelers?

“Yep, it does this every day…I know, I know, it’s wonderful…”

In a lot of ways, our lives are the same way. Think of the friends and family who ALWAYS support you. If you want to be a rocket scientist, farmer, teacher, dog walker, computer software analyst—it doesn’t matter—they will encourage you to reach for the stars. However, when we are sitting alone in our room and doubt screams, “You will never succeed!” the voices of our faithful encouragers seem kind of faint.

Achieving your dreams is not easy and sometimes the critics are more plentiful than the fans.

During these instances, one has to really ask hard questions: Why am I doing this? Does it matter more that others approve of me? Or is it okay to simply approve of myself? Who determines whether or not I am successful?

I have asked myself all of these questions.

My answers are helping me to carry on during this difficult, transitional time of my life. Consequently, the answers I declare over myself—I am doing what I feel led to do; I approve of me; my success comes from God, not man—is being confirmed by others. My faithful encouragers have an uncanny way of knowing when I need them. Their words are much needed reminders that I am heading in the right direction.

My advice is to identify your faithful encouragers.

Do not tune them out because “they have to say nice things about you” or because “they are being biased.” Listen closely; often times, their encouragement is well-spoken and right on time.