Christian Living

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Defining enough

You are enough and you have enough. 

I just summarized half of the self-help books in the world. 

We struggle with the concept of enough. 

“I’m not _________ enough.”

Fill in the blank with the first thing that pops in your mind. 

I bet this thought is the biggest obstacle for you. 

The Lord’s been challenging me with seeing the truth: 

  • Everything I need to be content, to be fulfilled is already in me. 
  • Everything I need to live, serve, and follow Him is already in me. 

I am enough. 

I have enough. 

The scarcity mentality is wrecking our lives. 

Chasing enough is like chasing the wind. You’ll always be empty handed. 

You’ll also be lonely. 

There’s not much time to build relationships when you’re on the hunt for enough. 

Some Christian circles talk about operating out of lack or being plagued by a spirit of poverty. 

Others talk about the American Dream myth. 
However you want see it, we need to wrestle with this bear. 

Does your definition of success, of enough leave you feeling empty?

If so, what needs to shift in your thinking? 

Get ready for a fight because what you discover will not line up with our culture today. 

I really believe, though, that changing your view of enough will change your life. 

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The best of friends

Did you know that God is a friend?

The Bible says he’s closer than a brother. That means as much as your family loves you, God loves you more. 

God has many names, but friend is one of my favorites. 

Friendship, to me, is a precious gift. We graft people into our family trees and we share with them our treasures, our hopes and dreams. 

God’s friendship is the best in the world. 

  • He’ll never leave you or forsake you. 
  • His spirit–the Holy Spirit–leads and guides you every day. 
  • His Word is a letter written to you and for you. 

God is a friend. 

There’s been many times, when I’m trying to freak out about something, that I am forced to stop. 

I feel God’s peace, God’s love in the strongest way. 

Lord, I know you’re with me. I’m the one choosing to freak out–You’re not freaked out at all. You’re just waiting on me to remember. 

My friends do this to me all the time. 

They let me talk and vent before saying, “I see why you’re upset, but have you thought of it this way?”

God does the same!

He’s a great friend. 

I encourage you to think about God as a friend. 

This shift in perspective changed my relationship with God in a major way. 

He’s not some mean, old man who’s distant and cold toward you and I. 

God is a friend. 

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No is an answer too

no!

No!

NO!

I have a hard time with this word–even though I can scream it in my head forever.

Instead I say:

Sure.

I can work that in.

Let me think about it.

Why is it so hard to say no?

For me, it goes back to rejection. The word “no” means that someone might not like you.

But not saying no also means that I often do things I don’t want to do.

Being a Yes Man or a Yes Woman doesn’t make you the most awesome person on the planet. It makes you a pushover, a doormat.

No is an answer too.

In fact, part of setting healthy boundaries is learning the when, where, and how of no.

I say no when:

  • Something doesn’t align with my values.
  • I’m already stretched too thin.
  • I need to disappoint the right people–i.e. my third cousin’s husband’s uncle as opposed to my best friend.

And, in case you’re wondering, saying no does not make you selfish.

This is the biggest lie in the world when it comes to boundaries.

You’re not selfish for saying no!

There are times I’ve had to stick to my guns.

If it’s not moving me forward, the answer is no.

If it goes against my faith, the answer is no.

Some things cannot be negotiated.

The right to say “no” is being challenged in America.

We need to figure this out.

Yes and no applies to everyone. Period.

Just remember that your actions must line up with your answers.

Screaming no and living yes makes you two-faced.

I want to end by quoting my Savior, Jesus Christ (since He’s the one most of us claim to follow):

 “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37).

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Showing kindness

Today at church we talked about kindness. 

I was voice interpreting and did pretty good. (I’ve only done it a five or six times so it was stop and start.)

The critic inside me was screaming, though, that I didn’t do a good job. I tried not to listen but it was hard. 

Maybe I can’t do this…

But I persevered because my mentor is teaching me to not give up, to give myself grace. 

We talk a lot about extending grace and kindness to others. And we definitely should!

My problem is that I’m great at giving it to others and terrible at giving it to myself. 

The voice I was hearing was me–expecting to not mess up, which is impossible because I’m a beginner. 

Talk about unrealistic expectations. Geez…

If we want to be gracious, merciful, and kind to others we must first understand that grace, mercy, and kindness is for us too. 

As Christians, God tells us to show others the love He gave to us. 

We can’t show love–or any of God’s characteristics–to others if we haven’t received it ourselves. 

Let’s remember this week to be kind. 

Start with yourself and go from there. 

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Go to Hell, Michigan

I’m sure you’re familiar with the expression “There must be a special kind of hell for ________.”

It’s a saying that we use when people are so mean, so evil that we think there’s no hope of redemption for them.

Did you know that hell is a part of our vernacular?

  • I’d go to hell and back for him/her.
  • Our world’s going to hell in a hand basket.
  • They’ve been through hell.
  • I’m trapped in a living hell.
  • Hell has no fury like a woman scorned.

The list goes on and on….

Seriously, I googled “colloquial expressions about hell” and found over 50! (Link below)

But my favorite use of hell is when we spell it out–for the children’s sake, of course.

“I told Bob he could go to h-e-double l.” 

Which leads me to wonder why the people of Hell, Michigan don’t use this phrase as a tourism tag line?

The forecast in Hell is...

The forecast in Hell is…

Go to Hell, Michigan today!

I find it ironic that a large majority of people claim to not believe in hell, and yet never question their vernacular.

This is a subject that needs to be discussed more.

As a Christian, I believe that hell is a real place.

I knew a boy years ago that joked around about partying in hell with the demons.

Trust me. There will be no party there. That’s one invitation you need to decline.

Why do we talk about hell so much?

I think it’s because, deep down, we all know sin is at the root of every evil committed.

Everyone’s looking for hope, for a reason to live beyond themselves.

Our early heritage of faith might be outlawed in courtrooms and classrooms, but it’s present in our vernacular.

It’s time to talk about the final destination.

For your investigation:

http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/hell

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Looking for the best

I had a bad dream last night. A girl was being bullied at school and no one stood up for her.

In the dream I could feel everything she was feeling.

I still feel it too.

From brenebrown.com

From brenebrown.com

I’m currently reading Rising Strong by Brené Brown. (A book review will follow when I’m finished.)

Dr. Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She’s done ground breaking studies in the areas of shame, guilt, and vulnerability.

The last chapter I read posed the following question:

“Do you believe others are doing the best they can?”

The rest of the chapter explores what Dr. Brown learned when both herself and research groups to answer the question.

My own answer shocked me because I try hard to be an optimistic person.

I often do not think others are doing the best they can.

It was an ouch moment, for sure. I sat there dumbfounded and reread the question again and again.

Am I really that critical? The harsh reality is that many times I am….

Like I mentioned earlier, the dream rattled me, and I was recovering from that shock when I got to Dr. Brown’s question.

Grappling with the meanness in areas such as bullying, racism, religion, politics, etc. is tough.

But at the end of the day, you can’t let that meanness lead to hopelessness.

There is a lot more light in the world than darkness. You don’t hear much about it, but it’s true.

Plus, as a Christian, I know there is hope for the meanest, most evil person in the world because of Jesus.

And then there’s all the times I fall.

I don’t set out to screw up and hurt the ones I love.

…I’m just doing the best that I can!

Ouch!

The moment when truth pierces through my hypocritical heart.

Lord, please forgive my double standards.

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Lessons from the War Room

I watched War Room yesterday. It is, by far, the best Kendrick Brothers film to date.

Here’s the description, taken from the official movie website:

Tony and Elizabeth Jordan have it all—great jobs, a beautiful daughter, and their dream house. But appearances can be deceiving. Tony and Elizabeth Jordan’s world is actually crumbling under the strain of a failing marriage. While Tony basks in his professional success and flirts with temptation, Elizabeth resigns herself to increasing bitterness. But their lives take an unexpected turn when Elizabeth meets her newest client, Miss Clara, and is challenged to establish a “war room” and a battle plan of prayer for her family. As Elizabeth tries to fight for her family, Tony’s hidden struggles come to light. Tony must decide if he will make amends to his family and prove Miss Clara’s wisdom that victories don’t come by accident.

Facebook/War Room

Facebook/War Room

Here are 5 lessons I learned by watching War Room:

  • I need to pray more.
    • As Christians, we’re told to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17). I always have time to chat, but I find that God gets scraps of my attention.
  • I need to be more intentional.
    • It’s easy to get caught up in the “Dear Lord, please be with ______” kind of prayers. I need to be more specific as I pray, taking my time instead of sending up emergency flares.
  • I need to pray the Scriptures.
    • This is pretty self-explanatory, but I want to start praying scripture passages, especially as I get more intentional in my conversations with God.
  • I need to pray more with other Christians.
    • Praying with others is not only a part of “bearing each others burdens” (Gal. 6:2) but also an important part of connecting in faith about a specific request.
  • I need to praise God when my prayers are answered.
    • I don’t praise God enough when a prayer is answered. Not doing so is selfish and reveals an underlying attitude of ungratefulness.
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The confusion of neutrality

I was asked to share my thoughts on gender neutrality, so here I go.

If Bob identifies as Sally, it’s wrong to not allow Sally into the ladies room. It’s also wrong to not call him a her.

The confusion and tension around these issues is palpable.

Universities now have whole departments dedicated to educating students on gender diversity. The University of Tennessee’s department made headlines for encouraging the use of gender neutral pronouns.

This year at registration, Harvard asked students to give their names and the pronouns they want to be identified by. This is to aid professors and create inclusivity in the classroom. Students at the University of Vermont have the same options.

You can even be considered “genderqueer” which is a term that indicates you fluctuate between masculinity and femininity.

Online dating sites and Facebook allows users to customize their genders. There are over 50 options to choose from.

Yes, many feel that gender is not limited or confined to sex. Gender is a continuum and each individual falls somewhere within the spectrum.

Parents are joining the war for gender neutrality by asking Target to remove gender signage. Little Jimmy wants to play with Barbies and Little Susie wants to play with Nerf guns.

I did a lot of reading for today’s post. My brain is about to explode….

I find it hard enough to be a heterosexual female in today’s world and if you read yesterday’s post, you know that it’s an even bigger challenge to still be a virgin.

Now I have to ask my friends for their name and preferred pronoun.

I could think John Doe is a cute guy one day and the next day he’s wearing a skirt.

There are no absolutes anymore.

All of these changes are supposed to make life easier for everyone, so why does it get more confusing by the day?

Gender is a subject that can never be made neutral–no matter how many pronouns we add.

For your consideration:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/gender-neutral-pronouns-when-they-doesnt-identify-as-either-male-or-female/2014/10/27/41965f5e-5ac0-11e4-b812-38518ae74c67_story.html

http://wjhl.com/2015/09/02/ramsey-threatens-action-after-ut-post-on-gender-neutral-pronouns/

http://www.tennessean.com/story/news/education/2015/09/01/lawmaker-senate-should-investigate-ut-pronouns-post/71529306/

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/2015/09/03/harvard-allows-students-register-with-gender-neutral-pronouns/IM40t3nOzXT8kcvN40RHeO/story.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/08/education/edlife/a-university-recognizes-a-third-gender-neutral.html?_r=1

https://corporate.target.com/article/2015/08/gender-based-signs-corporate

http://time.com/3990442/target-gender-based-signs/

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Don’t fall in the muck hole

IMG_1566When did being raunchy become the new standard?

The filth that spews out of music and television….

Trying to find a decent comedian to listen to or a movie to watch is nearly impossible.

And then I read up on the Miley Cyrus incident. (Need I say more?)

Sometimes I think we’re living in the time of the cavemen. People behave like they have to respond to their every feeling and impulse.

“I’m an animal with no self-control!” is the new mantra.

For a culture that’s supposedly “civilized” we enjoy muck a bit too much.

Our obsession with sex is out of control.

What I find ironic is that no one wants to get married but everyone wants to hop into bed.

This craziness has seeped it’s way into Christian circles too. (Though no one is willing to talk about it.)

Today, it’s almost like you have to make a choice:

A) Be as crude and vulgar as you possibly can.

B) Be a Puritan.

I’m neither brazen nor puritanical in nature.

I just don’t want to abuse a gift from God.

I’ve had more single friends tell me, “Oh! It’s so cute you’re still a virgin.” or “Loosen up. You’ll never find a guy who’s a virgin anymore.”

Since when did the concepts of virginity and purity become “cute”?

It’s time we stop believing the cultural lies about sex because these lies are leading us to a dangerous place where even the most “civilized” and “evolved” among us can’t reason their way out.

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Pray for the real victims

The Ashley Madison scandal is blowing up the internet.

It’s not the guilty parties (the website or the hackers or the account holders) that I’m concerned about.

The spouses and children suffering in silence need our help.

Their entire world has been ripped apart. Maybe they saw it coming, but I’m betting they didn’t…

Husbands or wives are in shock. Kids, both young and old, don’t understand.

And what about the singles who were on the site?

They had families too.

Maybe even a boyfriend, girlfriend, or fiancé?

I know that leaders and celebrities are held to a higher standard, but we’re so focused on examining their flaws that we’re ignoring the countless, nameless victims involved.

When this scandal dies down, which it will, these victims will still be suffering.

Fallen celebrities merely represent the true heart of our modern culture.

Isn’t time to address the real problems?

Adultery and pornography are destroying the American family.

These two evils are considered “normal” now.

Until scandals happen….

Why is everyone so shocked? Have you watched TV recently? Listened to the radio?

Our culture worships sexual promiscuity and unfaithfulness while glossing over painful truths.

Marriages are ruined. Children’s hearts are shattered.

This is our new reality, folks, and it sucks. A lot of people are hurting because our culture bought into a lie.

Lord,

I’m sorry so many people were hurt because of a lie.

I pray for those hurt who are Christians. Guide them down the path of forgiveness. Whisper words of encouragement in their ears.

I pray for those who are not Christians. Please comfort them. Speak words of peace to them. I pray they find hope by coming to know you.

Amen.