Transitional daydreams

Ever been so lost in thought that it’s hard to come back to reality?

It’s a lot like daydreaming. You see all of these things happening around you, but it’s more like you’re watching instead of participating.

Maybe you’ve been there or maybe you think I’m a lunatic. (I won’t be offended if you think that.)

Either way, I think we’ve all faced times of transition and decision.

That’s where I am right now.

And, for me, it’s hard to know where to go when everything is colliding, when the past, present, and future are duking it out for time and attention.

How do you stay centered?

I find three things helpful:

1. Journaling

2. Reading

3. Praying

I journal a lot about my thoughts, feelings, etc.

It helps to capture my thoughts so they don’t end up controlling me.

Then I read.

I read my Bible, I read books, I read articles and blogs because that helps me gain perspective and see the bigger picture. Reading shows me that I am not alone in my struggles and that there are answers to my questions.

Lastly, I pray.

I talk to God about what’s happening in my life. A few weeks ago I wrote on the importance of prayer and how God is truly interested in our day-to-day lives. Nothing proves that to me more than in these moments of transition. The coolest part is that I’m not talking up to a ceiling, hoping that God is listening. I am confident that God not only hears me but also talks to me.

Without these three things, I would be one confused girl. That’s the truth.

I encourage you, my friend, to recognize what helps you in moments of transition and decision. Don’t wait until the pressure is on to figure it out either.

If you feel brave, share with me what helps you.

Rabbit trails about inadequacy

I enjoy walking to the bank. It’s a nice change from sitting  all day.

The bank manager normally mills around and talks to customers. Today was Friday, so he was dressed casually. Monday through Thursday he wears a suit–an ill-fitting suit–and he seems a bit jittery. I got to thinking that maybe he’s uncomfortable because the suit doesn’t fit him.

The sleeves go way over his wrists and his pants are too long….he reminds me of a kid playing dress up. Maybe he feels inadequate and that makes him nervous?

I realize I’m speculating and this guy could be the most confident man in the world.

But my imagined story is not far from a truth many of us face everyday.

Feelings of inadequacy can sneak up on the best of us.

I saw a girl from high school today in a restaurant. She always made me feel small and unimportant. When I saw her, I panicked and found myself looking down, willing her not to notice me.

I thought about her and the branch manager as I walked back to my office.

My rabbit trail of thoughts led me to this conclusion:

We all play dress up at some point. We all experience inadequacy from time to time.

The act of dressing up, though, is actually a great test of our faith.

Sometimes you need to do it scared. Whatever “it” is for you, I can guarantee you that the first few times you step out will require a great deal of faith.

Your clothes will be too big.

And then you grow in confidence until you’re like Arnold Schwarzenegger, biceps ripping out of the sleeves from all the muscle you’ve built up. (Sorry! My imagination just got the best of me again.)

 But growth like that takes time and practice and even a few failed test runs.

Don’t let these things keep you from trying.

Don’t let feelings of inadequacy stop you.

Good friends are noticers

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:6)

It’s hard to think of wounds being a sign of love.

But wouldn’t you rather a friend correct you, to notice and care about the decisions you are making?

This is a silly illustration, but it’s  a classic:

Having a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth all day, but no one tells you.

What’s the first thing you say?

Why didn’t you tell me?!?!?

Ouch moments are great tests of character.

Nothing says “there’s still room for growth” like your mistakes being noticed.

When facing an ouch moment, I have to battle three things: embarrassment, anger, and pride.

I have to filter all of these feelings–as well as who’s doing the noticing–before responding.

Please don’t read this and think I’m talking about rolling over and letting someone squash you like a bug.

Remember what the proverb said?

Faithful are the wounds of a friend.

Friends correct out of love. They are lovingly pointing out your mistakes–not rubbing it in your face or shaming  you in the process.

Friends are trying to help you.

If all of your friends are kissing your cheeks and telling you how awesome you are….well, read the rest of the proverb, okay?

In a healthy friendship, each person grows.

Here’s another proverb:

As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. (Proverbs 27:17)

If I’m not careful, I can resent correction. My natural inclination is to believe that others are out to get me.

But that attitude is destructive, which is why I have to beat it down daily.

Meaningful friendships are worth more than gold.

We need to give our friends permission to notice things –even the not so great things.

Rest when it rains

It rains a lot when I’m at the office. 

If there’s a chance of rain in Birmingham, it will hit my office. The storm clouds roll in and the downpour begins.

And then I start driving home….

Once I get about two miles from the office, there is no sign of rain. The sun is out and the roads are completely dry.

I’m constantly amazed at this phenomena.

The same thing happens in our life.

Sometimes we’re in a rain bubble. Things just aren’t going that great.

We look over at our friends and family. There’s not a storm cloud anywhere near them. The sun’s out and they’re dancing in a field of wild flowers.

While we’re huddled under our umbrellas and our rain boots fill up with water…

I’ve been there.

Maybe it’s a family situation.

Maybe it’s problems at work.

Maybe it’s fighting back the voices from your past.

Whatever the case may be, you’re tired of the rain.

As a Christian, when hard times come, I start walking–no running–to my refuge and my rock.

Jesus said, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden. I will give you rest.”

David, the psalmist, said, “The Lord is my rock and my salvation. Whom shall I fear?”

Rainy days won’t last forever, I promise.

I know that’s easy to forget.

Just yesterday I found myself in a state of pure exhaustion. Physically and emotionally, I didn’t know if it was possible to take another step.

That’s when you rest.

Rest in God’s love.

Rest in the finished work of the cross.

And…

Rest physically.

Seriously. Go take a nap right now!

Take care of your body. You’re not Superman or Superwoman.

Plus, when you realize who’s really in control–and it’s not you–the best time to sleep is when the rain comes. (I’m thinking of a house with a tin roof. Where’s my pillow and blanket?)

Jesus fell asleep in the bottom of a boat while His disciples freaked out on deck.

I want to be more like Him and learn to rest in the storms.

A conversation with God

Prayer is a fancy word that means talking to God. It’s a divine conversation that is special and grows richer and deeper with time.

Think about your best friend. I bet you didn’t meet he or she in one day and the next day start bearing your soul.

Prayer, much like the other spiritual disciplines, takes time to grow.

Now, it’s also not complicated either. Just open your mouth and talk to God. He loves it when you talk to him!

Tell him about your day, thank him for the many blessings in your life, and go to him on behalf of others.

I talk to God a lot in the car. He’s my favorite road trip buddy. I tell him about my sadness and burdens. I tell him how excited I am. And, a lot of times, I just tell God how thankful I am. We just talk as I drive. It’s awesome!

My point in sharing all of this is simple.

A lot of people make prayer really hard. They think God’s too busy or not interested. None of those things are true.

He always has time to hang out and talk to you.

Spend some time this weekend talking to God. Don’t hold anything back.

And, don’t be too surprised when God starts talking to you too. He’ll speak words of comfort, encouragement, and direction.

A Friday filled with awesomeness

This Friday has been awesome.

First off, a group from BBVA brought us doughnuts and coffee. They came downtown to do random acts of kindness and I was one of their many recipients.

Robert is walking out of the hospital today!

Robert is walking out of the hospital today!

And then, to top it off, a friend of mine sent me the most wonderful praise report!

In May, her son was in a horrible accident at work. It was really touch and go for a while. He had a lot of internal bleeding and they were saying he wouldn’t be about to walk for a really long time. I immediately put her family on my prayer list.

Here’s the latest report I received, along with a picture:

UpdateIt will be therapy for a while and he still has a hole in his bladder. He is walking with a walker, but without anyone assisting him. The bladder is still healing itself slowly.He is on less pain meds though at times he still hurts pretty bad. But, after being told he would be wheelchair bound for 8-9 months, a walker is A OK.

I can’t think of a better way to start the weekend. This is such good news!

Today’s post is not long, but this exciting news has really got me thinking about prayer…

Let’s talk about it some more tomorrow, okay?

God’s love is for you

The monster I had to fight with every night was rejection.

I was the poster child for good kids everywhere, but something was still missing. The praise of my family and friends never satisfied me–though I wanted their praise to keep coming.

The two people I wanted acceptance from had ditched me a long time ago. That’s who I was trying please.

See, Mom and Dad, I’m worth something. I’m not a mistake. You were wrong about me.

Rejection would growl:

Stay on the ground, Audra. You can’t win this one. No one will ever accept you.

I believed him too.

For a long time, I even let this monster keep me from experiencing God’s love.

God's loveOh, I knew about God’s love, but it couldn’t be for me. This was my logic: If your parents–who are supposed to model the love of God–reject you, that must mean that God can’t love you.

It wasn’t until my 20s that I truly surrendered all of my heart to God. He came to me in the most tender way, whispering in my ear that His acceptance and love didn’t have anything to do with where I started from.

Today, during a time of prayer, I was overwhelmed with gratitude while remembering where God found me–in a man-made pit of despair–and how He lovingly pulled me out of it.

And God wants to do the same for you, friend.

Don’t listen to the monsters from your past. They are lying to you! I promise.

The love of God is not far from you. It’s as close as your next breath.

What’s holding you back from truly receiving it?

Shoot me an email if you want to talk about this some more.

audragkennedy@gmail.com

Note to self: Don’t panic

don't forgetTimes are tough.

Four Marines are dead.

ISIS is killing Christians.

The definition of marriage is under attack.

Political correctness is ruining our society.

But, as Christians, we can’t allow these hardships to keep us from our mission: To share the gospel and make disciples. blog 2

Jesus said things like:

Turn the other cheek.

If someone makes you walk one mile, go two.

Love and pray for your enemies.

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

If I’m not careful, I spend too much time focusing on all the bad things. I shake my head at the depravity of man and forget that at one time I was depraved too.

But we still have time! The world hasn’t ended yet!

If we’re still here, that means our mission isn’t over.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. His name is Jesus.

My goal for the next bit is to simply shine the light of Christ into the dark places, showing those who are still wandering the way home.

It’s time to stop freaking out about the darkness when we have the light of the world–and all His power–at our disposal.

The suspenseful side of grace

I have a love/hate relationship with suspense movies.

suspense 1

I’m ready to face the ideas in this post.

I love the plot twists, action scenes (cue bomb!) and creativity involved.

I hate the scenes where you are clutching the popcorn bowl, screaming at the TV.

Don’t do it! It’s a trick!!!!! (Big swig of coke) The bad guy’s right behind you!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then it goes into a wicked awesome fight scene and I fall in love all over again.


Watching a friend make a poor decision is a lot like watching a suspense movie.

You know it’s a bad idea, but your friend? He or she is totally clueless.

Or, worst case scenario, your friend willingly makes a bad decision.

But, let’s assume that your friend isn’t willingly making bad decisions because most of us don’t go into a situation thinking:

How can I really screw this up?

At least, I don’t anyway…

Your decisions are scaring me!

Your decisions are scaring me!

Somehow, though, we have the worst thoughts about our friends and family when they mess up.

My grace is always on vacation when this happens.

Until, of course, I mess up.

I can then give you a million and one reasons that I made a mistake:

I didn’t mean to say that, okay?

I had to make a snap decision.

I thought bangs would look good on me. (Let’s take a moment to mourn all the bad haircuts in our life. Okay, I feel better.)

Can’t you see that I need a little grace?!? Seriously.

Put yourself in your friend’s shoes. (Unless they don’t fit and then metaphorical shoe wearing will do.)

If you would want someone to extend you grace, then that means your friend wants grace too.

It’s a lot easier to be the one on the couch, clutching the bowl of popcorn, screaming your head off.

It’s a lot harder being the one walking around the corner in a poorly lit hallway.

No spirtual hermits allowed!

That’s it! I’m disconnecting from social media and going off the grid! This world is ridiculous.

Being a hermit sounds like a great alternative to the craziness.

Why bother trying? Nothing will change.

blog 3Unless…..

I start seeing myself as a world changer, a warrior, a follower of Christ who is here to spread the gospel.

Notice that the early church didn’t run and hide when faced with adversity. They were bold. Not stupid, mind you, but bold. When they had to scatter because of persecution, the church grew.

Kind of ironic, isn’t it? That’s not what you’d expect.

Look at the church today in China and the Middle East. The body of Christ is growing exponentially! They are being persecuted and martyred every day.

Their persecutors can’t figure it out: Why can’t we defeat these Christians? Nothing we do can stop them….

And yet, in North America, Christians start crying like a bunch of babies when things don’t work out.

blog 2 Can you believe the government is being so mean? This used to be a Christian nation. Now all I can do is post mean things on Facebook about those wicked unbelievers.

And then we lay on the floor like a toddler and pitch a fit.

Wow. I bet all of those sinful wretches want to be Christians now. You really showed them how strong faith can be in the life of a believer.

blog 1Throwing a temper tantrum changes nothing. It never does.

Read the Bible.

Jesus was hated by the world and He told us we would be hated too.

The disciples told us things would get really hard before Jesus came back.

What are you expecting?

Is your faith only strong when things are going great? Is it really that wishy-washy?

If so, I wouldn’t call that faith at all.