People know when you’re a phony.
I know that I can tell when someone’s treating me more like a project or a prospect. It’s the fastest way to shut me down.
And it’s also an area where I have to be careful…
One time, my friend Holly Beth called me out on my general distrust:
Not everyone is out to get you, Audra.
Her comment helped me see that I was approaching situations all wrong. I had allowed things from my past to warp my perception of others.
The change wasn’t overnight, but it got me going down the right path. In fact, my problem with perception was something I discussed with my counselor last year. Her suggestions helped me even more to change my view.
I used to only see the strings attached to what others were saying or asking of me. My counselor wanted me to identify every string that I saw in a conversation.
The assignment was to give a name to each string. Then I had to examine it and see if there was any truth to it.
I saw a lot of strings that week and many of them were only my perceptions. The other person’s motives were pure! It was me with the problem.
No matter the filters you have to set up to protect against faulty judgments, sincerity is easy to pinpoint. Finding out you’re nothing but a project or prospect is the quickest way to lose what little influence you may have in someone’s life.
In a world of posers, you don’t get many do overs.
This is why it’s important to be yourself. Period. When you’re okay with you are, you won’t get caught playing pretend.