Success

Leave a comment Posted on Business Sense, Character Corner, Daily Blogs

Becoming friends with failure

My relationship with gravity is a bit tricky….

Cracks in the sidewalks? They are my enemy. I’m pretty sure they snicker every time I trip. Dancing in front of people? Not gonna happen. I will not be on Dancing with the Stars anytime soon.

I always look around if I fall or spill my drink or knock the entire contents of my purse onto the floor.

It’s embarrassing. No one else is that clumsy, right? No one else falls or makes mistakes or….

How ridiculous does this sound? Of course other people make mistakes! Of course they trip and fall on their behinds.

Me dancing like no one's watching (even though everyone was watching).

Me dancing like no one’s watching (even though everyone was watching).

So why spend so much time running away from failure?

For me, it’s because I don’t want to look like an idiot. I’m not the biggest fan of taking risks and it’s a lot easier to blend in. I want to stay safe and comfortable.

Safety and comfort are bad friends. They tell a lot of lies.

Yes, yes. That’s way too hard for you. Just stay back here and watch so-and-so. They are a lot better at it than you anyway.

Failing at something doesn’t make you a failure.

Scientists don’t cry because their experiment didn’t work out the first time. They just say, “Uh. That didn’t work out. Okay. Let’s try it again, but tweak this and that.”

Athletes don’t freak out when they miss a goal. Sure, they may be disappointed, but they just work harder to make the next shot.

We all fail. We all make mistakes. You’re not alone, okay?

Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from trying new and exciting things.

Here’s what many people won’t tell you:

Success has a little brother. His name is Failure. They actually have a great relationship. And you can’t be friends with one without being friends with the other.

Leave a comment Posted on Business Sense, Character Corner

Note to Self: Avoid the Success Trap

Help Wanted: So, I need to up my game. Everyday blogging begins a month from tomorrow and I am not doing so hot in my practice round…..you guys hold me accountable, okay?

don't forgetI want to return to our Note to Self series and begin with an area where our worth is most attacked:

Our jobs.

Most of us spend 40 hours a week or more at our jobs. I know many people want to believe that work doesn’t matter. I understand the logic behind this thought. In the grand scheme of life, work is only one part of our identities.

However, I think anything that consumes 40+ hours of our time is important. Or should I say, because it’s a major time investment, our viewpoint about work is important.

I spend more time at my job than I do anywhere else. I can’t speak of any other region in America, but in the South having the right job title or working for a certain company is a big status symbol. Success is tied the company–not to you–so a lot is riding on where you work.

success exit

 A few months ago, I came face to face with this reality because a comment from a high school acquaintance of mine was relayed back to me. This friend is doing quite well and was asking how I was doing.

When told that I was working as an office manager, the friend was a bit shocked, “I thought Audra would be more successful than that. She was so smart in school!”

I also was in shock after hearing of this exchange, but for a totally different reason.

Why would I not be considered successful because I am working as an office manager?

Seriously. It’s a great job and has given me invaluable skills, which I can use for the rest of my life.

I decided to not step into the success trap at that moment. It was not an easy choice. My worth was on the line and I had to dig deep, calling on my courage to stand against the norm.  

success failure

The definition of success today is so skewed and so narrow that I refuse to be defined by it.

Here are two phrases that I want to eliminate:

I’m just a…..

and

I’m only a…..

Nothing good follows these phrases.

Stop measuring your worth by the status of “importance” your job receives from society. You are worth so much more than any artificial label can give you.

4 Comments Posted on Business Sense, Character Corner

Customer Service Matters

Do you remember your first job? I do. My first “real” job was as a college recruiter.

The dreams that I had of reaching out to college students, seeing them choose my college…I was so excited. Never mind that I came into the job toward the end of the recruiting season. My numbers were going to be awesome!

I remember the first student that I recruited. The feeling of accomplishment was overwhelming. I gave that student and her family the royal treatment. No request was too big or small.

The same thrill comes to me anytime I sell a product online or at my booth. “They chose me!” I think, “What can I do to help them further?”

A satisfied customer is akin to a drug high for me. Presenting a product. Closing a deal. What could be better?

I never want to lose this excitement.

Going back to my time as a college recruiter, I realize that I wasn’t the best. My colleagues were way ahead of me in their numbers. But I know that the students I recruited received the best of my time and effort.

Many businesses are too focused on the end goal: meeting their quota. Customers become another tick mark instead of being treated as an invaluable asset. Lots of my business colleagues are on straight commission. They’re often much better at grasping the importance of people to their success.

Comfy, unseasoned “professionals” are the only ones silly enough to ignore the value of great customer service. Maybe a few months of bologna sandwiches and Vienna sausages will wake them up.

The entire economy is in the people business. Clever sales techniques and fancy websites will only take you so far.

A high level of customer service–a great respect for other people–is key.

Leave a comment Posted on Character Corner

The Problem With Might Nots

Next weekend I am moving up to the Washington State area to live closer to my dad and family up that way. These last several months have been rather surreal because it’s hard to believe that this move is actually happening.

Now it’s here and I’m so excited! There are still a lot of variables, but I’ve done all the research that I possibly can.

All that’s left is to move.

Our lives are in a constant state of transition. Learning and growing, opportunities arising, new horizons to be explored—these are normal, commonplace occurrences—are at least they should be.

Maybe you stopped reading this a few seconds ago because you think I’m a young, naïve daydreamer. You might be right. But I can’t stop moving forward because I might fail.

So many people are paralyzed by the words “might not.”

I might not get the job. I might not get married. I might not have any friends….The possibility of all your “might nots” coming true are slim to none.

Notice what I said: Of all your might nots. I didn’t say that there wouldn’t be a time that failure wouldn’t come.

But that doesn’t mean that you take up residence in a plastic bubble and stop trying.

I’m tired of being paralyzed by what “might not” happen. The only time I am guaranteed to fail is if I take no action.

Life is full of change. It can be scary at times. There are challenges and risks involved.

However, I’ve yet to meet someone who didn’t believe that the challenges and risks weren’t worth the rewards. The rewards outweighed the risks every single time.

Leave a comment Posted on Character Corner

Don’t Skip A Step

I played softball last weekend and learned a valuable lesson.

Before the game started I noticed that everyone was stretching. I remember thinking to myself that stretching wasn’t that necessary. This week my left leg has been a little sore, but I didn’t think anything about it. The other day I noticed some swelling and that’s when I got a little concerned.

A friend of mine runs a sports medicine clinic so I stopped by her office. Turns out nothing is seriously wrong with my leg—just a little soreness and inflammation from not stretching before the game.  

This lesson only reinforced what I’ve been learning: You can’t get to where you’re going without working hard where you are.

Students today are disillusioned by this notion they’ll be making a triple digit income straight out of college. They want to be paid as an expert while having the experience of an amateur.

That’s as absurd as me thinking that I didn’t need to stretch when I hadn’t played softball—or any sport for that matter—in over a year.

There are a lot of things I want to do. I try to take positive steps every day to reach my goals, but I am nowhere close to where I want to be. So I read books and follow blogs and talk with people who are a few steps ahead of me. When I’m at work I do my best because I can learn from every job experience.

Do you see where this is going?

I am by no means trying to reinvent the wheel.

Truett Cathy, founder of Chick-fil-A, once said that when you make a product better, the people will demand that your business gets bigger.

I think this is true of individuals as well.

As I work harder to become better, other people can’t help but notice.  

Leave a comment Posted on Character Corner, Family

When the Chalk Dust Settles…

I am not a big fan of standardized tests.

Trying to measure intelligence using torture devices such as Scantrons and stuffy, windowless rooms is downright mean. Plus, people go into testing all stressed out because of high expectations. At least, that’s how I felt before every standardized test from elementary school through college. My stress level was through the roof!

It seemed as if the fate of my life rested on if I knew the circumference of a circle or the antonym of ambivalent or the number of protons in Californium.

Please do not take me as an opponent of education or as a slacker who has a vendetta against the education system. I am being a bit hyperbolic in order to prove a point about measuring success. I can remember time after time of cramming before tests and realizing a few weeks later that I did not remember anything. Though it’s quite shameful to admit now, at the time it didn’t matter whether I actually knew the material, only that I could regurgitate the correct answers.

Is it possible that by focusing on test results the quality of education is eroding?  

Some argue that if students were truly passionate, they would want to learn. Others say that teachers are burned out, so they do not make the subject matter fun. The political nuts scream out against corrupt politicians who are stealing money and robbing our children of a proper education. All of these answers have elements of truth, but I do not think that any one issue can be held solely responsible for the problem.

When the chalk dust settles, the real problem is plain: Both adults and children desire the riches of success and the expertise of professionals without putting in the work needed to achieve either.

By teaching children to expect something for nothing, I’m afraid that future generations, beginning with mine, are doomed to fail.