relationships

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Surviving an emotional hangover

Have you ever had an emotional hangover?

You share something really personal and the next day you think:

“Why did I do that?!? I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”

I’m a pretty private person, which might seem like a strange statement since I blog every day. We share 200-300 words a day, right? Daily blogging has been a stretching experience for me.

Allowing people into my head space every single day is scary. I’m like a Puritan when it comes to my emotions. If my ankles are showing that’s just too much!

There have been many times I’ve shared with you guys and felt sick to my stomach.

“Did I say too much? What did I just do?”

I only bring this up now because I’m working on a project with my dad and stepmom. You’ll get to hear more about my reconciliation journey. For those who are unfamiliar with my story, this series would be a good one to follow. (And that’s all I’m going to say for now.)

This project will be a BIG stretch for me…

I need to find a nice rock to rent and a stash of brown paper bags.

I realize this post is a bit melodramatic. (Aren’t hyperboles fun?)

No one likes vulnerability, but we all crave it. We’re constantly watching and testing those around us to see if they’re genuine.

And yet, many of us are so scared to share.

Dear friend, I’m right there with you!

Fight the urge to hide, okay?

Hiding helps no one.

Find an outlet to share your gifts and stories with others.

Know that I’m here to help you however I can.

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The best of friends

Did you know that God is a friend?

The Bible says he’s closer than a brother. That means as much as your family loves you, God loves you more. 

God has many names, but friend is one of my favorites. 

Friendship, to me, is a precious gift. We graft people into our family trees and we share with them our treasures, our hopes and dreams. 

God’s friendship is the best in the world. 

  • He’ll never leave you or forsake you. 
  • His spirit–the Holy Spirit–leads and guides you every day. 
  • His Word is a letter written to you and for you. 

God is a friend. 

There’s been many times, when I’m trying to freak out about something, that I am forced to stop. 

I feel God’s peace, God’s love in the strongest way. 

Lord, I know you’re with me. I’m the one choosing to freak out–You’re not freaked out at all. You’re just waiting on me to remember. 

My friends do this to me all the time. 

They let me talk and vent before saying, “I see why you’re upset, but have you thought of it this way?”

God does the same!

He’s a great friend. 

I encourage you to think about God as a friend. 

This shift in perspective changed my relationship with God in a major way. 

He’s not some mean, old man who’s distant and cold toward you and I. 

God is a friend. 

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Relational poker and icebergs

I would be a terrible professional poker player because my ability to bluff is nonexistent.

Within two hands I would be slap broke.

But emotionally? Now that’s a different story.

You will probably find it hard to believe, but I am a very private person. Yes, me, the girl who is posting a blog every day for an entire year. But, really and truly, it’s only about 300 words a day. That’s not a lot when you think about it.

If you’re familiar with the writings of Ernest Hemingway, you know about the Iceberg theory.

icebergtheoryHe only shows readers the tip of the iceberg while the rest is submerged underwater.

And maybe, if you’re like me, your first thought goes to the Titanic.

It’s dangerous to think that there’s this whole other level to relationships, a part that you can’t see by only hanging out with someone at work or church or school.

Relationships take a lot of time to build. It’s really not that far fetched to think that you have to navigate relationships like the Titanic should have navigated the waters–with caution.

You can’t stay surface level and expect to have deep, meaningful relationships.

I can’t play games of relational poker, always bluffing and keeping my cards close, and expect to find myself surrounded by a community of relationally minded people.

And you can’t either.

At some point we all need to share our stories–the good times and the bad times–because that’s where hope lives, the places where darkness turned to light.

Not everyone is like the person(s) who hurt you so deeply. Give others a chance to prove that to you.

No more poker face, okay?

You and I can’t exist outside of a community, so let people in.