Put the matches down

Integrity is what you do when no one’s watching. 

My 8th grade English teacher, Ms. Blackmon, taught me that definition. 

She gave us an example too. 

You’re all alone on a stretch of country road late at night. You approach a red light and no one’s around. Do you run it? Or wait for it to turn green? 

Your decision, she said, is the true measure of your integrity. 

This little story has always stuck with me. During times of temptation I catch myself. 

What about my integrity?

We’ve all had friends and family fail–and not the ones we expected either. 

They were so nice!

Their lives seemed so perfect!

What you do, who you are when no one’s looking really matters. 

I think that’s why sincerity is such a hot commodity these days. 

“Just be real,” we say, “Be honest about your struggles.”

I’m all for it too! Goodness knows that I screw up a lot. 

But we need to be careful. 

Asking others to be sincere means we can’t burn them at the stake.

This is true when a friend or relative makes a mistake or even expresses an opinion that differs from your own. 

Self-righteous witch hunts are what drive people to wear masks. 

The root of integrity–and all good character for that matter–starts when no one’s looking. 

Maturity is a process, so don’t hide your struggles. 

And, lastly, don’t be so quick to strike a match. 

A fugitive’s life

I went to school with a boy who never talked. It’s not that he couldn’t talk because I know that he could (a few times in class he would answer a question). He just didn’t want to talk.

He also never ate lunch.

I sat across from him everyday and watched him do homework as I ate my federally mandated portions. A friend of mine made it her personal mission to get him to talk. It never worked. He did, though, laugh at her jokes. She was quite funny.

I asked him to sign my yearbook and, to my surprise, he did!

“I shall maintain my silence.”

That’s all he wrote.

Everything about him was a mystery to me.

He was a genius who won a full paid ride to college….

He was an artist who wouldn’t participate in the senior art show….

He didn’t even come to graduation….

So many things to not know.

My biggest question is why.

Why was he hiding?

When you boil his actions down, that’s all he was doing.

He was full of potential; He had no reason to hide.

I have to ask myself the same question too.

Why am I hiding?

We all need to answer this question.

Why do we hide our dreams?

Why do we play it safe?

Why do we stay small?

I always wanted to ask that boy why, but I never wanted to ask myself.

And that’s because the answers reveal the fears I never wanted to face.

Until now.

I used to be a fugitive, running away from my own life….

I’m tired of hiding.

I am answering the questions–even when it’s painful–and slowly finding my way.

What about you?

It’s time to stop hiding, to stop living a fugitive’s life.

Answer the hard questions.

Stop running and start living.