Children

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Pray for the real victims

The Ashley Madison scandal is blowing up the internet.

It’s not the guilty parties (the website or the hackers or the account holders) that I’m concerned about.

The spouses and children suffering in silence need our help.

Their entire world has been ripped apart. Maybe they saw it coming, but I’m betting they didn’t…

Husbands or wives are in shock. Kids, both young and old, don’t understand.

And what about the singles who were on the site?

They had families too.

Maybe even a boyfriend, girlfriend, or fiancé?

I know that leaders and celebrities are held to a higher standard, but we’re so focused on examining their flaws that we’re ignoring the countless, nameless victims involved.

When this scandal dies down, which it will, these victims will still be suffering.

Fallen celebrities merely represent the true heart of our modern culture.

Isn’t time to address the real problems?

Adultery and pornography are destroying the American family.

These two evils are considered “normal” now.

Until scandals happen….

Why is everyone so shocked? Have you watched TV recently? Listened to the radio?

Our culture worships sexual promiscuity and unfaithfulness while glossing over painful truths.

Marriages are ruined. Children’s hearts are shattered.

This is our new reality, folks, and it sucks. A lot of people are hurting because our culture bought into a lie.

Lord,

I’m sorry so many people were hurt because of a lie.

I pray for those hurt who are Christians. Guide them down the path of forgiveness. Whisper words of encouragement in their ears.

I pray for those who are not Christians. Please comfort them. Speak words of peace to them. I pray they find hope by coming to know you.

Amen.

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The order of things

It’s disturbing to me the hills people are willing to die on.

A few weeks a go a lion was killed and everyone was outraged.

Killing an innocent lion? How cruel!

Around the same time, Planned Parenthood was exposed for chopping up fetuses and selling them to the highest bidder.

Crickets. It wasn’t even a trending topic on social media…

Our ideas about what’s right and what’s wrong are so convoluted. Endangered species are protected; people get so excited when their young are born. The definition of when a baby becomes a person, however, is always up for debate.

How long does it take for a person to become so calloused toward human life that they forget we all start out as babies?

We pass countless laws to protect animals, but the laws that protect unborn children are vague.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not an animal person. Some would say that makes me biased.

This discussion, though, has nothing to do with my like or dislike of animals.

We shouldn’t mistreat animals, killing them at will, and stop caring about the ecosystem.

But I’m a little tired of the animal shelter commercials that say, “They have no voice. They don’t understand. They are hurting. Please consider adoption.”

And yet we hear about children who are abused and neglected and think, “I don’t have the resources to adopt or help children, but I have ten dogs.”

The lives of babies, of children, are much more important.

I’ve heard many stories about parents who will give up all parental rights during a divorce if they can keep the pets.

I can’t even imagine how those children felt. My parents left me for selfish reasons, yes, but to know they chose Fido over you?

Wow.

We need to get our priorities straight as a nation. Animals are never more important than people.

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Family Dynamic

One thing that’s taken some adjustment since moving to the Pacific Northwest is the lack of privacy. Someone’s always coming around the corner or knocking on the door. I grew up with lots of privacy and mega doses of alone time.

There’s nothing wrong with needing a little space, but my worldview is slowly shifting on the topic of “me time.”

The Bible says that we should train up our children throughout the day. This means that our actions and words are being observed every minute, especially if you’re in a large family.

 I cannot expect my siblings to learn if I constantly need space and refuse to let them participate in my daily routine. They all love to run errands with me or help me with my chores.I get asked a lot of questions about how to do things or why I do something a certain way.

Thats why I’m really having to get past my need for more privacy.

I want my siblings to spend as much time with me as possible. Sometimes I don’t want to bring a kiddo to the store or have them help me with the dishes. It would be a lot easier and faster if I could do it alone.

 However, they always thank me for allowing them to go or participate in whatever I’m doing.

Talk about feeling convicted about your selfishness!

Add that guilt to hearing your three year old sister, who calls you her best buddy, say, “Thank you, Audra for bring me to the store.”

It will make you repent fast!

The bottom line is that I am blessed by their eager hearts and hands. It’s such a privilege and honor for me to know that my siblings want to be with me.

This kind of family dynamic is one that I want to cultivate in my own home some day.   

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Manners Matter

Yes ma’am, no ma’am, yes sir, no sir—These phrases have always been a part of my daily vocabulary as have the usual pleasantries of please and thank you. I was also taught that you put Ms. or Mr. In front of an adult’s name.

As a child, I cannot remember calling any adult by their first name only.

No one asked me if I wanted to be polite and respectful. It was demanded of me.

My me-maw taught me that adults, especially older adults, were to be treated with the highest level of respect. Not answering properly was an offence equal to interrupting a conversation. (And my family didn’t view corporal punishment as wrong either, so being rude meant some discomfort was coming my way.)

 Over the years, my use of yes ma’am and the like have made quite a few people uncomfortable.

“I’m not that old,” some would say, or “You don’t have to call me Mr. Bob. Just call me Bob.”

That’s where it got a little awkward. Who do I obey? That person? My parents? No wonder kids have been so confused over the years.

Adults demand to be treated as adults, for their commands to be instantly obeyed without question. Then they reprimand children for assigning honor to their role.

 Consequently, you have children who show no respect for authority and who believe they can call all the shots.

Who needs to listen and yield to those who are older when many parents are busy trying to wear skinny jeans and borrowing blouses from their teenaged daughter’s closet? (No one wants to admit they’re getting older.)

Once again, I’ve gone to the extreme in my use of examples. But I cannot understand how anyone who claims to be “all grown up” would take offence to being shown respect.  

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Planning Vs. Living

It’s easy to look ahead—way ahead—and make plans. And there’s nothing wrong with plans. But all plans are subject to change at a minute’s notice. I cannot concretely tell you what I will be doing tomorrow or even an hour from now.

Some things are simply out of my control.

 That’s hard for me to accept. I want to perfectly map out my day, my week, my life.

I constantly have to say, “STOP! I don’t have to have everything figured out today!” That usually keeps my brain from exploding.

Here’s another thing that’s helped: I take a good look around me. I play a game with my siblings. We laugh and have a great time. I splash around in the pool with them and realize that they’re growing up before my eyes.

How much have I missed being so worried about tomorrow? Or today? Or next weekend?

 Because the truth is that I could drop dead at any moment. I know it’s a sobering and somewhat depressing realization, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

Now don’t go pitch your calendar and watch out the window. Don’t stop making plans. Just take a minute to ask yourself a few questions.

Are you glad to be alive today? 

Are your kids or grandkids or siblings growing up unnoticed?

Do you spend more time planning your life than actually living it?  

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Training Future Generations

I read an article this week on the subject of children and independence. The author talked in-depth about her study of children from various tribes across the globe.

Apparently, their children have tons of freedom to explore and learn without constant adult supervision.

These native kids know survival skills such as hunting, fishing, and fire building by the age of five or six.

 The children of Western culture are way behind.

The author gives three problems as to why: They have too many planned activities, most adults consider them a nuisance, and they are woefully unhappy because of poor parenting practices.

For the most part, I agree with the author. It’s sad when parents scream at their children for making noise, when neighborhoods are not kid-friendly.

 I am so thank that my grandparents allowed me to be a kid. I was free to play outside, to explore my surroundings, and to make mistakes.

I could run, laugh, and be silly with little to no chastisement.

Don’t get me wrong. If I got out of line, there were consequences, but I felt safe within the confines of clear boundaries.

By no means was I killing bobcats with my bare hands or wielding knives to take down crocodiles. (That would’ve been awesome though!) At least I knew how to complete my chores. I was also capable of feeding and clothing myself.

 In today’s times, children are not treated with importance. Training and attention is needed to mold them into a future generation ready to take their place.

I am not a parent, but I have eyes.

It doesn’t take long to notice that children are crying out for attention, for someone to expect more out of them.

What’s the future going to look like if we continue to neglect the children in our care?

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Expect more

I had a band director in high school who struck fear into the hearts of students. Everyone loved her—she deeply cared about us all—but mediocrity was not acceptable. Many times I came home thoroughly chastised for not knowing my part.

The cool thing is that our band always made it to the state competition and always placed at the top of our class. I whined a good bit because she was “so mean,” but now it’s clear that my teacher taught her students the importance of discipline.

Today discipline is a dirty word.

Teachers can’t expect their students to do excellent work. Parents can’t expect their children to do chores or even to behave. That’s too much pressure. Their poor little psyches can’t handle it!

I’m not bashing children—I love children!—but undisciplined, lazy children turn into undisciplined, lazy adults. I feel bad for the children who grow up with no expectations. Life is not going to be kind to them.

Furthermore, it saddens me a bit that no one expects young adults to act as such. I am twenty-two years old. If I start acting infantile, please don’t label me as another hopeless cause from the upcoming generation!

Challenge my behavior. Expect more.

Isn’t that what we all need? To be challenged? For the bar to be raised a little bit higher?  I think a change would sweep across this nation if the older generations would expect something more than immaturity from the younger generations.

Discipline and responsibility—any good character trait really—is not obtained at the grocery store.They are learned behaviors. Who’s supposed to teach us?  

Don’t throw the younger generations under the bus. Help us to become strong, mature adults who make a difference in this world.

After all, we are the future.