Faith Journeys

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Facing old enemies

Perfectionism really is the enemy. 

Everything you’ve heard about perfectionism is true. 

You will never win and nothing will be enough when you’re a perfectionist. 

I am a recovering perfectionist. 

  And today I experienced a major relapse. 

Normally, as I learn sign language, making mistakes does not bother me. 

Today, though, I froze while voice interpreting and I did not recover well from the stumble either. 

I allowed my mistake to throw me off. A few tears were shed…

My old fiend, Perfection, mocked me and I listened. He’s close friends with Satan, so he’s really good at his job. 

Thankfully, my friend and mentor refused to let me stew over the mishap for too long. 

I’m glad she stopped me from hanging out in that ditch. 

If you find yourself in a ditch today, I want to help you get out too. Don’t allow perfectionism to steal your joy and happiness. 

Do your best and move on!

Keep trying!

And know that I–and all the other encouragers in your life–will not let you stay in the ditch. 

Get back on the road where you belong. 

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Go to Hell, Michigan

I’m sure you’re familiar with the expression “There must be a special kind of hell for ________.”

It’s a saying that we use when people are so mean, so evil that we think there’s no hope of redemption for them.

Did you know that hell is a part of our vernacular?

  • I’d go to hell and back for him/her.
  • Our world’s going to hell in a hand basket.
  • They’ve been through hell.
  • I’m trapped in a living hell.
  • Hell has no fury like a woman scorned.

The list goes on and on….

Seriously, I googled “colloquial expressions about hell” and found over 50! (Link below)

But my favorite use of hell is when we spell it out–for the children’s sake, of course.

“I told Bob he could go to h-e-double l.” 

Which leads me to wonder why the people of Hell, Michigan don’t use this phrase as a tourism tag line?

The forecast in Hell is...

The forecast in Hell is…

Go to Hell, Michigan today!

I find it ironic that a large majority of people claim to not believe in hell, and yet never question their vernacular.

This is a subject that needs to be discussed more.

As a Christian, I believe that hell is a real place.

I knew a boy years ago that joked around about partying in hell with the demons.

Trust me. There will be no party there. That’s one invitation you need to decline.

Why do we talk about hell so much?

I think it’s because, deep down, we all know sin is at the root of every evil committed.

Everyone’s looking for hope, for a reason to live beyond themselves.

Our early heritage of faith might be outlawed in courtrooms and classrooms, but it’s present in our vernacular.

It’s time to talk about the final destination.

For your investigation:

http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/hell

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Looking for the best

I had a bad dream last night. A girl was being bullied at school and no one stood up for her.

In the dream I could feel everything she was feeling.

I still feel it too.

From brenebrown.com

From brenebrown.com

I’m currently reading Rising Strong by Brené Brown. (A book review will follow when I’m finished.)

Dr. Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She’s done ground breaking studies in the areas of shame, guilt, and vulnerability.

The last chapter I read posed the following question:

“Do you believe others are doing the best they can?”

The rest of the chapter explores what Dr. Brown learned when both herself and research groups to answer the question.

My own answer shocked me because I try hard to be an optimistic person.

I often do not think others are doing the best they can.

It was an ouch moment, for sure. I sat there dumbfounded and reread the question again and again.

Am I really that critical? The harsh reality is that many times I am….

Like I mentioned earlier, the dream rattled me, and I was recovering from that shock when I got to Dr. Brown’s question.

Grappling with the meanness in areas such as bullying, racism, religion, politics, etc. is tough.

But at the end of the day, you can’t let that meanness lead to hopelessness.

There is a lot more light in the world than darkness. You don’t hear much about it, but it’s true.

Plus, as a Christian, I know there is hope for the meanest, most evil person in the world because of Jesus.

And then there’s all the times I fall.

I don’t set out to screw up and hurt the ones I love.

…I’m just doing the best that I can!

Ouch!

The moment when truth pierces through my hypocritical heart.

Lord, please forgive my double standards.

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Necessary pit stops

I’m a sucker when it comes to good lyrics.

Every song has a meaning–no matter what folks say otherwise. I’m much more forgiving about the music if the lyrics are compelling.

If a song is stuck in my head, I pull up the lyrics and read through them. Many times there’s a lesson I need to learn.

I know that meditation is a five dollar word, but it’s important.

Meditate means:

  • to focus one’s thoughts
  • to engage in contemplation or reflection

Many of us meditate all the time without realizing it.

IMG_1694Ever sat down and thought of a problem from every possible angle? Ever intensely studied a passage of scripture or literature?

That’s meditation.

I spent today meditating on song lyrics because I had a song stuck in my head.

We all need to meditate, to focus, on the important aspects of our life.

The best seasons of growth come from times of serious meditation.

Our fast paced society, though, doesn’t want you to slow down, to think.

Be impulsive! Make a rash decision!

I’ve never met anyone whose said: The key to a successful life is never slowing down, never stopping to think things through.

My meditation face...

My meditation face…

I’m learning that maintaining a fast paced lifestyle doesn’t mean I’m successful or even fulfilled. All it means is that I know how to fill up my calendar with activities.

Some people say that meditation is a waste of time, but a schedule with no margin, no breathing room, costs you double the time.

I’ve never regretted the time I’ve taken to figure things out, to explore the whys.

There’s nothing wrong with pulling off the road to check your map. Stopping for a minute is better than needlessly going 100 miles off course.

And that’s all meditation is: a necessary pit stop.

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Lessons from the War Room

I watched War Room yesterday. It is, by far, the best Kendrick Brothers film to date.

Here’s the description, taken from the official movie website:

Tony and Elizabeth Jordan have it all—great jobs, a beautiful daughter, and their dream house. But appearances can be deceiving. Tony and Elizabeth Jordan’s world is actually crumbling under the strain of a failing marriage. While Tony basks in his professional success and flirts with temptation, Elizabeth resigns herself to increasing bitterness. But their lives take an unexpected turn when Elizabeth meets her newest client, Miss Clara, and is challenged to establish a “war room” and a battle plan of prayer for her family. As Elizabeth tries to fight for her family, Tony’s hidden struggles come to light. Tony must decide if he will make amends to his family and prove Miss Clara’s wisdom that victories don’t come by accident.

Facebook/War Room

Facebook/War Room

Here are 5 lessons I learned by watching War Room:

  • I need to pray more.
    • As Christians, we’re told to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17). I always have time to chat, but I find that God gets scraps of my attention.
  • I need to be more intentional.
    • It’s easy to get caught up in the “Dear Lord, please be with ______” kind of prayers. I need to be more specific as I pray, taking my time instead of sending up emergency flares.
  • I need to pray the Scriptures.
    • This is pretty self-explanatory, but I want to start praying scripture passages, especially as I get more intentional in my conversations with God.
  • I need to pray more with other Christians.
    • Praying with others is not only a part of “bearing each others burdens” (Gal. 6:2) but also an important part of connecting in faith about a specific request.
  • I need to praise God when my prayers are answered.
    • I don’t praise God enough when a prayer is answered. Not doing so is selfish and reveals an underlying attitude of ungratefulness.
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The confusion of neutrality

I was asked to share my thoughts on gender neutrality, so here I go.

If Bob identifies as Sally, it’s wrong to not allow Sally into the ladies room. It’s also wrong to not call him a her.

The confusion and tension around these issues is palpable.

Universities now have whole departments dedicated to educating students on gender diversity. The University of Tennessee’s department made headlines for encouraging the use of gender neutral pronouns.

This year at registration, Harvard asked students to give their names and the pronouns they want to be identified by. This is to aid professors and create inclusivity in the classroom. Students at the University of Vermont have the same options.

You can even be considered “genderqueer” which is a term that indicates you fluctuate between masculinity and femininity.

Online dating sites and Facebook allows users to customize their genders. There are over 50 options to choose from.

Yes, many feel that gender is not limited or confined to sex. Gender is a continuum and each individual falls somewhere within the spectrum.

Parents are joining the war for gender neutrality by asking Target to remove gender signage. Little Jimmy wants to play with Barbies and Little Susie wants to play with Nerf guns.

I did a lot of reading for today’s post. My brain is about to explode….

I find it hard enough to be a heterosexual female in today’s world and if you read yesterday’s post, you know that it’s an even bigger challenge to still be a virgin.

Now I have to ask my friends for their name and preferred pronoun.

I could think John Doe is a cute guy one day and the next day he’s wearing a skirt.

There are no absolutes anymore.

All of these changes are supposed to make life easier for everyone, so why does it get more confusing by the day?

Gender is a subject that can never be made neutral–no matter how many pronouns we add.

For your consideration:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/gender-neutral-pronouns-when-they-doesnt-identify-as-either-male-or-female/2014/10/27/41965f5e-5ac0-11e4-b812-38518ae74c67_story.html

http://wjhl.com/2015/09/02/ramsey-threatens-action-after-ut-post-on-gender-neutral-pronouns/

http://www.tennessean.com/story/news/education/2015/09/01/lawmaker-senate-should-investigate-ut-pronouns-post/71529306/

http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/2015/09/03/harvard-allows-students-register-with-gender-neutral-pronouns/IM40t3nOzXT8kcvN40RHeO/story.html

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/08/education/edlife/a-university-recognizes-a-third-gender-neutral.html?_r=1

https://corporate.target.com/article/2015/08/gender-based-signs-corporate

http://time.com/3990442/target-gender-based-signs/

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Don’t fall in the muck hole

IMG_1566When did being raunchy become the new standard?

The filth that spews out of music and television….

Trying to find a decent comedian to listen to or a movie to watch is nearly impossible.

And then I read up on the Miley Cyrus incident. (Need I say more?)

Sometimes I think we’re living in the time of the cavemen. People behave like they have to respond to their every feeling and impulse.

“I’m an animal with no self-control!” is the new mantra.

For a culture that’s supposedly “civilized” we enjoy muck a bit too much.

Our obsession with sex is out of control.

What I find ironic is that no one wants to get married but everyone wants to hop into bed.

This craziness has seeped it’s way into Christian circles too. (Though no one is willing to talk about it.)

Today, it’s almost like you have to make a choice:

A) Be as crude and vulgar as you possibly can.

B) Be a Puritan.

I’m neither brazen nor puritanical in nature.

I just don’t want to abuse a gift from God.

I’ve had more single friends tell me, “Oh! It’s so cute you’re still a virgin.” or “Loosen up. You’ll never find a guy who’s a virgin anymore.”

Since when did the concepts of virginity and purity become “cute”?

It’s time we stop believing the cultural lies about sex because these lies are leading us to a dangerous place where even the most “civilized” and “evolved” among us can’t reason their way out.

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Pray for the real victims

The Ashley Madison scandal is blowing up the internet.

It’s not the guilty parties (the website or the hackers or the account holders) that I’m concerned about.

The spouses and children suffering in silence need our help.

Their entire world has been ripped apart. Maybe they saw it coming, but I’m betting they didn’t…

Husbands or wives are in shock. Kids, both young and old, don’t understand.

And what about the singles who were on the site?

They had families too.

Maybe even a boyfriend, girlfriend, or fiancé?

I know that leaders and celebrities are held to a higher standard, but we’re so focused on examining their flaws that we’re ignoring the countless, nameless victims involved.

When this scandal dies down, which it will, these victims will still be suffering.

Fallen celebrities merely represent the true heart of our modern culture.

Isn’t time to address the real problems?

Adultery and pornography are destroying the American family.

These two evils are considered “normal” now.

Until scandals happen….

Why is everyone so shocked? Have you watched TV recently? Listened to the radio?

Our culture worships sexual promiscuity and unfaithfulness while glossing over painful truths.

Marriages are ruined. Children’s hearts are shattered.

This is our new reality, folks, and it sucks. A lot of people are hurting because our culture bought into a lie.

Lord,

I’m sorry so many people were hurt because of a lie.

I pray for those hurt who are Christians. Guide them down the path of forgiveness. Whisper words of encouragement in their ears.

I pray for those who are not Christians. Please comfort them. Speak words of peace to them. I pray they find hope by coming to know you.

Amen.

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The order of things

It’s disturbing to me the hills people are willing to die on.

A few weeks a go a lion was killed and everyone was outraged.

Killing an innocent lion? How cruel!

Around the same time, Planned Parenthood was exposed for chopping up fetuses and selling them to the highest bidder.

Crickets. It wasn’t even a trending topic on social media…

Our ideas about what’s right and what’s wrong are so convoluted. Endangered species are protected; people get so excited when their young are born. The definition of when a baby becomes a person, however, is always up for debate.

How long does it take for a person to become so calloused toward human life that they forget we all start out as babies?

We pass countless laws to protect animals, but the laws that protect unborn children are vague.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not an animal person. Some would say that makes me biased.

This discussion, though, has nothing to do with my like or dislike of animals.

We shouldn’t mistreat animals, killing them at will, and stop caring about the ecosystem.

But I’m a little tired of the animal shelter commercials that say, “They have no voice. They don’t understand. They are hurting. Please consider adoption.”

And yet we hear about children who are abused and neglected and think, “I don’t have the resources to adopt or help children, but I have ten dogs.”

The lives of babies, of children, are much more important.

I’ve heard many stories about parents who will give up all parental rights during a divorce if they can keep the pets.

I can’t even imagine how those children felt. My parents left me for selfish reasons, yes, but to know they chose Fido over you?

Wow.

We need to get our priorities straight as a nation. Animals are never more important than people.

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Internet 101: Nothing can be erased

If you grew up in the ’90s, chances are someone in your family watched a talk show.

Jenny Jones, Oprah, Ricki Lake, Maury, Montel…..

As a kid, I thought your life had to be pretty bad to go on a talk show.

  • You had a kid and after three paternity tests you don’t know who the father is?
  • Your biggest fear is a jar of mayonnaise?
  • Your husband/wife had how many affairs and you found out on a TV show?

Somewhere along the way talk shows–like Furbys, Beanie Babies, and Lisa Frank–lost their popularity. Sure, they still exist today but who really watches them now?

And then the internet came along….

  • Businesses hire and fire based on your Facebook page.
  • Cyber bullying is rampant.
  • Ashley Madison was hacked.

The internet is a great tool, but it can wreck your life too.

Imagine your worst mistake being used as the punch line for a meme, being wrote about by every blogger in the blogosphere, and becoming a viral video on YouTube.

nothingerasedWelcome to the dark side of the internet, my friend.

There needs to be more talk about using discretion on the internet. The information you put online can’t be erased. I don’t care what anyone tells you otherwise. Take a look around.

Welcome to the biggest global talk show.

Everyone is watching.

A quick Google search, a little digging, and a lot of sharing is all it takes to ruin a reputation.

This is the reason why the Ashley Madison scandal breaks my heart. No doubt about it. The people who were exposed are in the wrong. I’m not defending their actions.

But their spouses and children are caught up in this mess too.

Keep this in mind as you use the internet.

The consequences of your actions really do affect others.