Sometimes I can get stuck in my head…
Trying to sort things out sends me in 10 different directions, each with their own feeling.
Writing stuff down helps me capture what’s going on and shows me what areas need to be covered with prayer.
There are times when what I see is ugly. The truth is right there in its distorted, disfigured form.
As I read through past entries, I notice the moments where my perspective turned out to be wrong, which means everything else–my attitude, feelings, and opinions–were wrong as well.
The good news about perspective is that it can change!
It’s easy for me to spot the shift because my angry scribbles and stratch outs give way to hope-filled words–even if my handwriting is still a jumbled scrawl!
Most of the time I end up finding the right words to express the things I couldn’t bring myself to say before.
There might still be a hint of pain behind the words, but the joy is bigger than the pain.
The idea of someone else reading my journal is a bit frightening to me.
However, I believe that when the time is right it will all make sense to whoever ends up with my mountain of words.
He or she will say, “Yes, this chick struggled, but the struggle always led her closer to God, to seeing things from His perspective.”