Grace

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Note to Self: Don’t Ride the Gossip Train

don't forgetI remember a game frequently played in my elementary school. The class would sit in a circle and a student was given a certain phrase by the teacher such as “Susie Q ate beef stew.” That student then had to whisper the phrase into the next student’s ear and so on. By the time it went around the room, “Mark W. liked dogs.” 

If you’re thinking, “That’s a lot like gossip!” You would be correct. It is gossip plain and simple.

And gossip is not an acceptable means to discern a person’s character. I’ve been working extra hard to not let the things I hear about someone affect my opinion of them before I even meet them.  

Have you ever shared a cup of coffee with a friend you thought you knew only to discover your perception of them was completely wrong?

 gossip problemMany friendships are left uncultivated because of a faulty perception and I’m tired of missing opportunities!

Furthermore, let’s extend some grace to each other.

I’m not always perfect. And I bet if you were being honest, you aren’t either. 

It’s easy to throw someone else under the bus and forget that last month, last week, yesterday…you needed a good dose of grace too.

Don’t be afraid to ditch gossip and extend grace. It could make all the difference. 

The bottom line is that perception is not often reality.       

 

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Navigating Construction Zones

  Construction zones are everywhere. I drive through two to three each day. The world around me is exploding with new buildings and improved roads. When I think about redeveloping an impoverished area or new businesses starting up, I get excited. 

My favorite kind of progress , though, is when people change for the better. 

The terrain of pain, shame, and hopelessness transforming into a landscape of beauty and joy right before my eyes. 

And we are all progressing in one direction or the other. No one lives in a neutral state. 

We all have construction zones. 

Like I said earlier, construction isn’t bad, but it can be tricky to navigate at times. Traffic jams will happen when heavy machinery is in use. 

Keeping people at a distance until construction is over is not a good idea. 

Getting frustrated at the construction zone surrounding a friend’s life is pointless. 

What’s the answer then?

  • Keep your eyes on the everyday progress.
  •  See the improvements and additions as victories. 
  • View difficulty as the temporary setback that it really is. 

Our lives will always have some kind of construction zones in them. 

Demolition projects, remodeling, additions, or touch ups. The level of construction depends on the person. 

Learn to navigate the changes gracefully. This is one skill we all need to master–for the sake of others and for the sake of our own sanity. 

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First Responses

My first response to a highly emotional situation is not always great. I might want to yell out in anger or to take offence to everything said or to simply shut down, refusing to engage with those unfortunate enough to be around me at the time.

These times of trial are testing grounds of my resolve to respond appropriately even when my preferred first response better suits how I feel.

And that’s where it gets hard.

Most of us are taught that our feelings govern our response. Maybe no one said that out loud to you but it was demonstrated through their actions. The phrase “I can’t help but feel this way” comes to mind.

That being said, the greatest problem today is the overemphasis on emotions. Counsellors, books, and talk shows tell us that it’s our right to freely express ourselves.

I fear, though, that this free expression is ruining our ability—and desire—to relate to each other.

It’s not wrong to feel; however, it is wrong to think that everything you feel must be broadcasted to the general public.

Since moving closer to my dad, I’ve experienced numerous emotions—some good and some bad. This move has forced me to evaluate how I express my feelings in family situations. My parents and siblings are getting to know me. Plus, our family dynamic has shifted a lot in the last several months. I came in July and my new little brother came in September. Changes come daily–if not hourly–so everyone has to roll with the punches.

Needless to say, the word that is most often talked about in our home is grace.

We’ve all had to extend a ton of grace to each other. We’ve also had to point out where our first responses were incorrect, so that the root issues could be addressed.

On that note, this won’t be the only time I talk about first responses (but I’ve run out of time today).

Here’s a few questions to think about this week: How often is your first response the one you express? How do you keep your emotions in check? 

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Beware of Faulty Perceptions

I remember a game frequently played in my elementary school. The class would sit in a circle and a student was given a certain phrase by the teacher such as “Susie Q ate beef stew.” That student then had to whisper the phrase into the next student’s ear and so on. By the time it went around the room, “Mark W. liked dogs.” 

If you’re thinking, “That’s a lot like gossip!” You would be correct. It is gossip plain and simple.

And gossip is not an acceptable means to discern a person’s character. I’ve been working extra hard to not let the things I hear about someone affect my opinion of them before I even meet them.  

Let’s take this a step further: Have you ever shared a cup of coffee with a friend you thought you knew only to discover your perception of them was completely wrong?

This has happened to me several times and I’ve walked away shocked at how much I didn’t know.

I’m not talking about a topic that is foreign. Judging someone based on rumors, gossip, and hearsay has been going on since there were more people than just Adam and Eve on the earth.

All I want to do is stop it from poisoning my perception of others. Many friendships are left uncultivated because of a faulty perception and I’m tired of missing opportunities!

Furthermore, let’s extend some grace to each other.

I’m not always perfect. And I bet if you were being honest, you aren’t either.

It’s easy to throw someone else under the bus and forget that last month, last week, yesterday…you needed a good dose of grace too. Don’t be afraid to ditch gossip and extend grace. It could make all the difference. The bottom line is that perception is not often reality.       

Take a good look in the mirror. What is it not saying about you? 

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What’s the Big Deal About Grace?

You read a lot in the Bible about grace vs. the law.

It makes you wonder what’s the big deal, right? Follow the rules and it’ll all be okay…I think. The problem is that most people add a lot of rules that aren’t in the Bible.

Grace is inviting, welcoming, and it offers hope.

Ephesians 2:8-9 says that it is “by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.”

When Christians are walking in grace lost people are drawn to Jesus like bugs to a bug zapper.  

However, when Christians start adding things to grace things get really hairy.

“I do not frustrate the grace of God: for if righteousness [comes] by the law, then Christ is dead in vain” (Galatians 2:21).

What is God’s grace?

God knew that we would be sinners from the beginning of time, so He made a way through His only son, Jesus Christ, in order for us to be reconciled back to Him.

Grace cannot be earned nor is it deserved. That’s what makes it so awesome.

What is the law?

Most people consider the law to be the rules and guidelines given to the Israelites in the Old Testament. If you’re having trouble getting a mental picture, think of Charlton Heston in The Ten Commandments. Think of lots of cows, sheep, goats, and doves being sacrificed to atone for sin. It’s actually quite bloody when you think about it.

The Bigger Picture

Without Jesus I have no hope of living up to the law. It’s impossible. However, the blood of Jesus Christ makes it possible for me to be in right standing with God. He came and took the place of my sins, became my blood sacrifice. Only because of Jesus’ sacrifice do I have any hope of following the commands of God, aka The Bible or God’s Word.

Mixed Messages

The law says, “You stink! How dare you come less than perfect? You’ll never measure up.”

Grace says, “You can change. Don’t be afraid of past mistakes, present struggles, or future mishaps.”

I hope that the difference is obvious to everyone. The law, religion, legalism—whatever you want to call it—is not the message that Christians were called to share.

We are called to follow Jesus and walk in grace. That’s the message we need to be sharing. 

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Three Questions to Consider When Seeking Advice

 I love to give other people advice, and I love to receive advice from other people.

Often times, though, there is a gap between giving and receiving advice and actually implementing it. This inconsistency is part of the human condition, but it can be conquered with persistence.

Most of the New Testament is an instruction book. I realize that I have been talking a lot about the Bible.

Let me explain.

My thinking has radically changed about the Bible. I am learning that my life will all be for naught without Christ and the transforming power of His living word, the Bible.

But what does this have to do with giving and receiving advice?

The Old Testament laws were often hard to keep, but the New Testament instructions are possible if you’re walking in grace.

Grace is God’s DNA coursing through your veins.

Grace pushes you closer and closer to Christ, so that you begin to look more like Him.

Follow Christ, walk in grace, and be transformed by the power of God’s word.

That’s the New Testament in a nutshell.

I am telling you all of this because the best advice to follow is godly in nature.

The Bible is where you filter all advice that comes your way. It helps you find the biblical principles to back up the changes that need to be made in your life.

There are two Scriptures that best illustrate this point. The first is found in Ezekiel 33: 31-33:

“So they come to you as people do, they sit before you as My people, and they hear your words, but they do not do them; for with their mouth they show much love, but their hearts pursue their own gain. Indeed you are to them as a very lovely song of one who has a pleasant voice and can play well on an instrument; for they hear your words but they do not do them. And when this comes to pass—surely it will come—then they will know that a prophet has been among them.”

I don’t know about you, but I can totally relate to this passage. I have been given advice, ignored it, and then saw the prophecy come to pass. Conversely, I have also heeded sound advice and reaped the benefits.

The second Scripture, Acts 17:11, is probably more familiar to you.

“[The Bereans] were more fair-minded than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness, and searched the Scriptures daily to find out whether these things were so.”

The Bereans understood that it was ultimately their responsibility to teach themselves good doctrine. It’s always easier to spot a phony when you are educated and informed.

All of this said there are three basic questions to ask when seeking advice:

  1. Who is giving this advice? Are they trustworthy? Responsible? In a place to be giving out advice?  
  2. What Scripture(s) back up this advice?
  3. If Questions 1 and 2 can be answered, what’s my plan of action?

If you walk away with nothing else from this post, keep this in mind:

Advice, much like exercise equipment, only works when it’s put in use.