Pray for the real victims

The Ashley Madison scandal is blowing up the internet.

It’s not the guilty parties (the website or the hackers or the account holders) that I’m concerned about.

The spouses and children suffering in silence need our help.

Their entire world has been ripped apart. Maybe they saw it coming, but I’m betting they didn’t…

Husbands or wives are in shock. Kids, both young and old, don’t understand.

And what about the singles who were on the site?

They had families too.

Maybe even a boyfriend, girlfriend, or fiancé?

I know that leaders and celebrities are held to a higher standard, but we’re so focused on examining their flaws that we’re ignoring the countless, nameless victims involved.

When this scandal dies down, which it will, these victims will still be suffering.

Fallen celebrities merely represent the true heart of our modern culture.

Isn’t time to address the real problems?

Adultery and pornography are destroying the American family.

These two evils are considered “normal” now.

Until scandals happen….

Why is everyone so shocked? Have you watched TV recently? Listened to the radio?

Our culture worships sexual promiscuity and unfaithfulness while glossing over painful truths.

Marriages are ruined. Children’s hearts are shattered.

This is our new reality, folks, and it sucks. A lot of people are hurting because our culture bought into a lie.


Lord,

I’m sorry so many people were hurt because of a lie.

I pray for those hurt who are Christians. Guide them down the path of forgiveness. Whisper words of encouragement in their ears.

I pray for those who are not Christians. Please comfort them. Speak words of peace to them. I pray they find hope by coming to know you.

Amen.

Internet 101: Don’t write opinion (I mean, open) letters

I’ve noticed a lot of open letters floating around the internet.

Did you know there’s even a definition for them?

An open letter is:

“A letter, often critical, addressed to a particular person or group of people but intended for publication.”

Here’s Audra’s definition:

“An letter is your opinion–masked in self-righteousness–and broadcasted to the world because you don’t actually have a voice in that person or group’s life.

Own up to your opinion, okay?

Don’t hide behind an open letter and say, “Just sayin’…you (and the rest of the world) needed to know.”

Letters–real letters–are very personal. Someone took the time to sit down and express their thoughts. It went out to a special person and led to a deeper relationship.

Blasting out hate mail in the form of an open letter is wrong. Plain and simple.

I’m not saying there haven’t been good open letters too.

But everyone knows the truth.

A letter to “the poor, lonely soul in the corner” is about the writer expressing their opinion as another “poor, lonely soul in the corner”. (To all poor, lonely souls: Please don’t stay that way because I stopped an open letter from being written to you.)

I hope open letters are not how our generation chooses to communicate.

I don’t see the need to write open letters.

If I want to share my opinion, I’ll just blog about it.

Wait a minute!!!!!

You mean my blog is entirely based on my perception of the world?

Like an open letter?

Mind blown.

There are so many ways to express yourself online–without hiding behind anything.

Feedback Appreciated

So, I’ve been posting for a few months now.

There’s a lot more I want to talk about, but I’d love to hear from you:

  1. What’s been your favorite post so far?
  2. What topics do you want to read more about?
  3. What’s one thing you’d wish I’d change in my writing style?

Please be honest in your responses. Don’t worry about my feelings. I can handle constructive criticism.

One of the reasons I wanted to blog every day was to improve my writing. Another reason was to explore my thoughts on varying topics like faith, family, business, etc.

All of that being said, what’s a blog if it has no readers?

You guys are on this journey with me.

I want to honor that support by giving you an open invitation to send all comments, concerns, and suggestions my way.

Leave a comment–on the site or on Facebook–or send me an email at: audragkennedy@gmail.com

I look forward to your feedback!

The order of things

It’s disturbing to me the hills people are willing to die on.

A few weeks a go a lion was killed and everyone was outraged.

Killing an innocent lion? How cruel!

Around the same time, Planned Parenthood was exposed for chopping up fetuses and selling them to the highest bidder.

Crickets. It wasn’t even a trending topic on social media…

Our ideas about what’s right and what’s wrong are so convoluted. Endangered species are protected; people get so excited when their young are born. The definition of when a baby becomes a person, however, is always up for debate.

How long does it take for a person to become so calloused toward human life that they forget we all start out as babies?

We pass countless laws to protect animals, but the laws that protect unborn children are vague.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not an animal person. Some would say that makes me biased.

This discussion, though, has nothing to do with my like or dislike of animals.

We shouldn’t mistreat animals, killing them at will, and stop caring about the ecosystem.

But I’m a little tired of the animal shelter commercials that say, “They have no voice. They don’t understand. They are hurting. Please consider adoption.”

And yet we hear about children who are abused and neglected and think, “I don’t have the resources to adopt or help children, but I have ten dogs.”

The lives of babies, of children, are much more important.

I’ve heard many stories about parents who will give up all parental rights during a divorce if they can keep the pets.

I can’t even imagine how those children felt. My parents left me for selfish reasons, yes, but to know they chose Fido over you?

Wow.

We need to get our priorities straight as a nation. Animals are never more important than people.

Internet 101: Nothing can be erased

If you grew up in the ’90s, chances are someone in your family watched a talk show.

Jenny Jones, Oprah, Ricki Lake, Maury, Montel…..

As a kid, I thought your life had to be pretty bad to go on a talk show.

  • You had a kid and after three paternity tests you don’t know who the father is?
  • Your biggest fear is a jar of mayonnaise?
  • Your husband/wife had how many affairs and you found out on a TV show?

Somewhere along the way talk shows–like Furbys, Beanie Babies, and Lisa Frank–lost their popularity. Sure, they still exist today but who really watches them now?

And then the internet came along….

  • Businesses hire and fire based on your Facebook page.
  • Cyber bullying is rampant.
  • Ashley Madison was hacked.

The internet is a great tool, but it can wreck your life too.

Imagine your worst mistake being used as the punch line for a meme, being wrote about by every blogger in the blogosphere, and becoming a viral video on YouTube.

nothingerasedWelcome to the dark side of the internet, my friend.

There needs to be more talk about using discretion on the internet. The information you put online can’t be erased. I don’t care what anyone tells you otherwise. Take a look around.

Welcome to the biggest global talk show.

Everyone is watching.

A quick Google search, a little digging, and a lot of sharing is all it takes to ruin a reputation.

This is the reason why the Ashley Madison scandal breaks my heart. No doubt about it. The people who were exposed are in the wrong. I’m not defending their actions.

But their spouses and children are caught up in this mess too.

Keep this in mind as you use the internet.

The consequences of your actions really do affect others.

Practicing graciousness 

Ever gone out to eat and have your order messed up? 

Tonight I went out to dinner with friends. My order was fine, but their orders were completely messed up…..

At the end of our dinner, even my friend’s ticket was messed up! 

Oftentimes it’s awkward to tell a waiter, “Hey! This is all wrong.” 

You don’t want to be an overcomplaining customer, but you’re also paying for the food. 

The goal is to handle the situation with as much grace as possible. (Both of my friends were super gracious by the way.)

Sometimes it’s easy to be gracious, sometimes it’s not. 

I’m not saying it will be easy, but I do know that a little graciousness will go a long way. 
And, if that doesn’t work, have a chat with the restaurant’s manager. 

Being gracious is not the same as being a doormat. 

The best kind of days

The best kind of Saturdays are lazy Saturdays. 

You stay home in your PJs, doing light housework at a leisurely pace. 

Nothing is rushed. Everything is enjoyed. And you wish there were more days like this one. 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all about working hard and playing hard. 

But I’m starting to wonder if the drive to be busy is why most things in life–even passions–become burdensome. 

My creativity level is higher when I have more margin. So is my energy level. 

The idea that everything is urgent needs to die. 

Very few text messages, emails, and phone calls are important. 

We don’t have to scramble around, ignoring what’s going on around us to check our phone each time it goes off. 

You don’t even have to take pictures of everything you do…

Maybe your Facebook page will be boring, but if that’s the worst thing that happens you’ll be fine. 

We all need to be more intentional about creating margin, breathing room in our schedules. 
I encourage you to schedule in a lazy day. 

You won’t regret it. 

Remembering a great teacher

One of my former English professors passed away. He was battling multiple myeloma (cancer of the blood plasma).

Dr. Chris Hokanson was a great man and a wonderful teacher.

At first he intimidated me because of his credentials:

B.A., Stanford University
M.Ed., Harvard; M.A.
Ph.D. Indiana University

My first thought was, “I’m going to fail a few classes this semester.”

I quickly discovered, though, that Dr. H wasn’t an academic elitist, ever boasting about his superior education.

He was a quiet, yet confident man who wanted all of his students to reach their full potential.

ChrisHokansonDuring class discussions, Dr. H made an effort to point out your good thoughts and comments. Sometimes he’d even say, “That would make a great topic for your paper!”

(Any time a professor says an idea is a good paper topic, you’d be foolish not to take the suggestion and run.)

Even when I turned in a horrible draft–probably written at 2 AM–for review, he never complained. Sure, he’d joke about the noticeably poor quality of my work, but he always ended by saying that it was well on it’s way to being a great paper.

Dr. H took an interest in his students’ lives beyond the classroom doors.

When my dad came to visit me at Judson (our first meeting), I was late turning in a paper–really, really late. Dr. H asked me how everything was going and offered me an extension.

I deserved an automatic “C” yet I was granted an extension…

Many Judson girls have similar stories. Whether it was a family crisis, sickness, or just general slacking, Dr. H was gracious. He always gave students the benefit of the doubt.

Judson College will not be the same without Dr. Hokanson. He will be greatly missed by faculty, staff, and students alike.

An incomprehensible love

I read an article once that said many Christians feel uncomfortable when questionable people attend church. You’ve probably read or heard something similar before too.

Homeless people, prostitutes, druggies, murderers, pedophiles….

Even reading that list probably made some of you cringe just a little.

But Jesus died for us all. He didn’t say, “Unless your past was questionable. That’s where I draw the line.”

If a questionable past can keep you out of Heaven, I’m already disqualified.

All of us deserve hell. We just can’t measure up to God’s righteousness by ourselves.

And that’s why God–from the foundations of the earth–had the plan of salvation ready to go.

God, creator of the world, knew BEFORE IT HAPPENED that man–his most special creation–would screw up.

Then he created us anyway.

Why?

Because He is a God of love and wanted a people to lavish that love upon.

This fact still blows me away!

God has ALWAYS loved you. He loved you BEFORE you were ever loveable. He loved you even when He KNEW mankind was going to say, “Buzz off! I’ve got this under control.”  

It’s a love that’s beyond comprehension.

Why is the church not sharing this wonderful news?

God's loveBecause we can’t run around telling people Jesus loves them just as they are. There are conditions you know!

So the church continues to avoid homeless people, prostitutes, druggies, murderers, pedophiles….

And don’t even pull the “So your saying that we should all just do whatever we want? That’s greasy grace” card.

It’s a tired argument that needs to die.

I’m simply stating the fact that a behavior modification program, which has never worked (just ask the children of Israel) is not the same as the transforming power of grace.

The “bad” people we try desperately to avoid need Jesus.

Comedians are in the funny business

I have always wanted to be a comedian.

A comedian’s job is to look around, make observations, and then report them back in a funny way. Their brains are wired to see things from multiple perspectives.

And their family knows this all too well. If I was a comedian’s kid, I would sell the copyrights to the funny moments of my life to my comedian parent and ask for the royalties as my allowance.

Because every aspect of life has a good, bad, ugly, and funny side. Then you branch off into finding the good, bad, ugly, and funny side of each side I mentioned previously.

(This is the part where I throw in the total number of combinations. But I’m not that great at statistical probability.)

My only problem with comedy today is the overwhelming use of sexual innuendos and expletives.

The good use of a cuss word is a lot like drinking Coke. You can drink one every once in a while, but you know a) it’s not good for you and b) it can’t be rationalized to your water loving, health nut friends.

Which leads me to my next point: Why are most “clean” comedians so boring?

Most of their sketches are very cliché, which is why humor enthusiasts normally do not like them. (Notice I said “most” because there are some clean, funny comedians out there.)

And I think this is why most humor enthusiasts, especially Christians, struggle to find the proverbial balance.

Yeah, this guy is really funny, but cusses like a sailor. This gal is a Christian comedian, but she hasn’t updated her jokes since the ’80s.

I bring this up because we all need a good dose of humor in our life.

We all want to laugh and comedians make us laugh.

There’s nothing wrong with that either!

Just be careful as you listen.