Month: November 2013

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I’m Weird, You’re Weird

A lot of people claim to be OCD.

It’s actually quite comical to hear someone say “I’m so OCD” and then take a walk through their house…yeah, you’re not OCD if there’s mold that just told me that the bathroom’s to the left…

We all have idiosyncrasies. Even the most relaxed, chill-tastic people I know have one or two things that make them…unique…for lack of a better word.

Maybe you like to arrive everywhere super early.

Maybe you like to squirt ketchup on all your food.

Maybe you have to spin around in a circle three times before entering or exiting a room.

 The idiosyncrasy scale ranges from “Wow, you need to get a life!” to “Wow, you make the ranting homeless guy look normal!”

Hopefully—this is what I believe anyway—most of us fall somewhere in the middle.

I’m at this place in life where I recognize that my idiosyncrasies are just that: Mine.

The other day it was pointed out to me that I use the phrase “I have this thing about…” a lot. That one comment made me stop and think.

 My weirdnesses are my responsibility.

It’s not fair for me to use them as a shield to get out of my obligations or as an excuse for poor behavior.

And guess what?

Your weirdnesses are not my responsibility.

I’m all for free expression and “being who you are.” Just do so in a considerate and respectful manner.

The biggest lie told today is that our differences outweigh our similarities. Here’s the truth: Our similarities outweigh our differences.

That being said, I don’t want my weirdness to morph into selfishness. And that’s really easy to do.  

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North American Problems

I believe Dave Ramsey was the first person I heard use the phrase “That’s a North American problem.” His platform is devoted to helping people get out of debt. Of course, money is the biggest resource lacking across the globe, especially in third world countries.

This leads me back to North American problems…those of us in North America rarely find ourselves lacking.

Now, I understand that there’s a lot of people who really struggle to make ends meet. However, even those citizens who fall below the poverty level are still considered to be some of the wealthiest in the world.

All of these thoughts were swirling around my head as I was faced with a frustrating dilemma: Amazon.com cancelled my book order and I had pre-ordered six weeks in advance.This is a perfect example of a North American problem.

So would Starbucks not having your favorite drink flavor or having to wait in a long line to return an ill-fitting blouse to the store.

Most of our modern day conveniences—which we perceive as our right to have—are not readily available across the globe.

This is not meant as a slam against anyone.

I love hot showers, gourmet coffee, and electricity as much as the next person.

What I am learning is that my true needs are few. Many of the items on my “needs” list are merely wants—justifiable as they may seem.

Don’t go into the holiday season feeling condemned because Audra is a meanie.

Just don’t take for granted the blessings in your life.

I’m guessing that your closets are full, your electrical outlets are overloaded, and your pantries are stocked. That’s a huge blessing in itself!

It’s my goal this holiday season to get my mind off the need to buy everything. Sure, stuff can be useful, but I’d much rather focus on the people who are most important to me.

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First Responses

My first response to a highly emotional situation is not always great. I might want to yell out in anger or to take offence to everything said or to simply shut down, refusing to engage with those unfortunate enough to be around me at the time.

These times of trial are testing grounds of my resolve to respond appropriately even when my preferred first response better suits how I feel.

And that’s where it gets hard.

Most of us are taught that our feelings govern our response. Maybe no one said that out loud to you but it was demonstrated through their actions. The phrase “I can’t help but feel this way” comes to mind.

That being said, the greatest problem today is the overemphasis on emotions. Counsellors, books, and talk shows tell us that it’s our right to freely express ourselves.

I fear, though, that this free expression is ruining our ability—and desire—to relate to each other.

It’s not wrong to feel; however, it is wrong to think that everything you feel must be broadcasted to the general public.

Since moving closer to my dad, I’ve experienced numerous emotions—some good and some bad. This move has forced me to evaluate how I express my feelings in family situations. My parents and siblings are getting to know me. Plus, our family dynamic has shifted a lot in the last several months. I came in July and my new little brother came in September. Changes come daily–if not hourly–so everyone has to roll with the punches.

Needless to say, the word that is most often talked about in our home is grace.

We’ve all had to extend a ton of grace to each other. We’ve also had to point out where our first responses were incorrect, so that the root issues could be addressed.

On that note, this won’t be the only time I talk about first responses (but I’ve run out of time today).

Here’s a few questions to think about this week: How often is your first response the one you express? How do you keep your emotions in check?