personal development

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The suspenseful side of grace

I have a love/hate relationship with suspense movies.

suspense 1

I’m ready to face the ideas in this post.

I love the plot twists, action scenes (cue bomb!) and creativity involved.

I hate the scenes where you are clutching the popcorn bowl, screaming at the TV.

Don’t do it! It’s a trick!!!!! (Big swig of coke) The bad guy’s right behind you!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then it goes into a wicked awesome fight scene and I fall in love all over again.

Watching a friend make a poor decision is a lot like watching a suspense movie.

You know it’s a bad idea, but your friend? He or she is totally clueless.

Or, worst case scenario, your friend willingly makes a bad decision.

But, let’s assume that your friend isn’t willingly making bad decisions because most of us don’t go into a situation thinking:

How can I really screw this up?

At least, I don’t anyway…

Your decisions are scaring me!

Your decisions are scaring me!

Somehow, though, we have the worst thoughts about our friends and family when they mess up.

My grace is always on vacation when this happens.

Until, of course, I mess up.

I can then give you a million and one reasons that I made a mistake:

I didn’t mean to say that, okay?

I had to make a snap decision.

I thought bangs would look good on me. (Let’s take a moment to mourn all the bad haircuts in our life. Okay, I feel better.)

Can’t you see that I need a little grace?!? Seriously.

Put yourself in your friend’s shoes. (Unless they don’t fit and then metaphorical shoe wearing will do.)

If you would want someone to extend you grace, then that means your friend wants grace too.

It’s a lot easier to be the one on the couch, clutching the bowl of popcorn, screaming your head off.

It’s a lot harder being the one walking around the corner in a poorly lit hallway.

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Check Your Priorities

Balance.

It’s something that we all want to achieve.

We try to eat healthy foods while also indulging our sweet tooth. We work hard at our jobs, but we have to make time with our families a priority. These are basic concepts, right? No-brainers even.

My life is totally in balance…I think.

 Don’t worry. I’m not advocating that we all take up yoga and sit criss-cross in order to envision our lives’ priorities on a scale.

If that’s what it takes for you then go for it! I,however, have always found yoga a bit too weird.

What I am advocating is some serious thought on our priorities. One of my favorite authors, Jon Acuff, challenged me with the following thought:

“If I say that my family or writing or my business endeavors (Insert your own interests here) are important, then why does my calendar not reflect it?”

 This question is eating my lunch.

It’s not enough to say that something is a priority. My actions and how I spend my time should reflect my words.

What I’m learning is that if I cannot manage my time now—when I’m single—then how can I juggle the responsibilities of wife and mother?

That’s where my mind goes as I follow this thought into the future.

 Maybe that’s a bit too extreme for you, but it’s something more of us should do.

There’s truth in the saying “If you want to see where you’ll be in five years, take a look at how your time is spent now.” (This is not exactly how that saying goes, but it works nonetheless).

I encourage you to take some time this week to write out your priorities and compare them to your calendar.

How are you doing?

If nothing changes, where will you end up five years from now?  

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Let’s Look Past the Differences

I spend a great deal of time reading. For this reason, I am always open to book and article suggestions. Something I have come to learn, however, is that most people are not this way. This realization astounds me for many different reasons. I do not want to waste my time discussing the disadvantages of the close minded, but I often wonder if constant aversions to change only add to the growing problems of developing friendships.

How can you get to know someone if the mountain of differences makes conversation impossible? I understand that everyone on this planet knows at least three people who make them cringe when they walk into the room. However, if I find offense with everyone I meet, I will be a very lonely person.

Lots of people want to label race, religion, or sexual orientation as the boundaries that separate the masses. While it is true that these factors do lead to obvious differences, I strongly believe that the true problem lies within each and every one of us: fear. We do not want to expose our own weaknesses or, if I may be frank, ignorance. Let me help you out: There will always be someone out there who knows more than you or is better at something than you.

This is a good thing. I find that I am challenged to do better, to be better by my friends. It is not always a verbal, “Get your act together, girl!” but I have learned a lot through observing my friends’ successes and failures.

I am not asking anyone to compromise their beliefs or commit major crimes. All I want to do is encourage others to not let differences become insurmountable. We have a lot to learn from each other and whether you want to believe it or not, we all need each other as well.