Change

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Embrace Quiet Times

It’s a rainy day in the Pacific Northwest. I’m enjoying the peace and quiet upstairs. There’s nothing big planned for the afternoon and no one is coming over for dinner. I’d call this a perfect moment, a time of reflection that isn’t taking place in distress or chaos.

These times are the best for making decisions and casting vision for the future.

I’m not bashing in-the-moment choices because these are necessary too. However, there’s something special about the quiet moments that occur before big life events.

For example, I now live in a subtropic region. Come late September the weather will be easy to predict. It’s going to be cold, wet, and overcast until late May or early June. That’s why this summer has been so busy for me. Some things have to be done while it’s sunny, so priorities shift during the brief summer months.

And it’s another reason why this rainy day was needed.

I’ve been living at such a fast pace trying to accomplish my summer to-do list that it’s taken a rainy day to finally slow me down. One thing I’ve learned recently is that there’s no point in whining about the snail paced times of your life.

Human beings live in a constant state of transition. You’re either coming out of a time of transition or you’re entering one.

It’s that simple.

The only people who do not live by this model can be found in the cemetery.

Why not take the seemingly “boring” times of minimal change to plan?

Quiet moments don’t come around very often. Try making some decisions when the world isn’t moving like a race car in the Indy 500.

Things look a lot different when they aren’t blurring all around you.

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A Different Path

Ms. Carol was an elderly woman who lived in a local nursing home. Every month or so, my me-maw would fix her hair and sometimes I would tag along. One day, I remember asking me-maw why Ms. Carol’s children never visited her. You couldn’t be around Ms. Carol long without noticing how sad she was. Even as a ten year old kid I knew something wasn’t right.

Unfortunately, Ms. Carol was not the best parent. Me-maw had known Ms. Carol for years and said she used to be a mean, hateful, and spiteful person. This news broke my heart. I didn’t like that Ms. Carol was alone or the fact that it was her own fault.

That’s the tricky part about consequences. Sometimes they are devastating. Left standing in the ruins of your own making, it’s hard to believe you allowed things to get this bad.

I found myself in this situation several years ago. Bitterness and unforgiveness had taken over my heart. I was sad, lonely, and angry. It took me a while to realize that the path I was on would produce nothing but more brokenness. Everything came down to one decision. No one else could make it for me.

Was I going to remain on the road to nowhere? Or would I choose to take a different path?

I chose a different path and so can you. Is holding on to pain and regret really worth being miserable? Ms. Carol made some bad choices, but she came to grips with her past faults and moved on.

No matter what you’ve done, there’s still hope. The only time change is unachievable is when you’re dead.

Ask some friends to help you through this process. Find a good counselor, if necessary, or visit with a local pastor. Help is out there.

You don’t have to walk alone anymore. 

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Will You Survive?

I read a lot of self-help books. It’s an addiction and I’m sure the teller at the thrift store thinks I need to see a counselor. Anyway, there is one thought that seems to make its way into every book:

You will never change until the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain needed to make a change.

Isn’t that what every self-help book is about?

Apathy is the biggest hindrance to change because it takes a lot of strength to face up to our monsters. And, often times, we merely wound our enemy—whatever it may be—instead of properly killing it the first time. For example, the other day I was driving down the road listening to “I Will Survive.” It was probably the first time I stopped grooving long enough to listen to the lyrics. The entire song is about this lady kicking her loser boyfriend to the curb and then coming home one day to find him sitting on her couch.

When I heard the words, “I should have changed that stupid lock! I should have made you leave your key! If I had known for just one second that you’d be back to bother me,” it’s like I was struck by lightning!

The easiest part of making a change is the radical, “get out of my life” phase.

Many people find it exciting because they enjoy throwing all the junk food in the garbage, bashing the computer with a sledge hammer, and cutting up all the credit cards. In all this extremism, however, it’s easy to forget that if you don’t deal with the root of the problem, sooner or later, you’ll come home to find it sitting on your couch.

Will you survive?

If you’re anything like Gloria Gaynor, you not only survive, but also do so while looking really hip in a sparkly, glittery dress. (Watch the music video and you’ll see what I mean.)

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Change Your Thinking, Change Your Future

How often do you think about the future?

I know that I think about the future quite frequently.

Sometimes the future is scary because I begin to plug in the variables.

I start thinking, “If I don’t change this area of my life, then this will be the result.” That’s when I get really wigged out.

Years ago, I caught a few episodes of a pretty cool show. Don’t go asking me the name of this show because I don’t remember and it wasn’t on the air long. Anyway, this health and nutrition team would show people what would happen if they didn’t change their diets. It was scary. They looked like Goodyear blimps. I’m not kidding, these people were huge! And all of this because they couldn’t give up Twinkies and Coke…

The cool thing about this show was that there was hope. This team of experts would reveal the inevitable, but then say, “Wait a minute! You can fix this!” Needless to say, a major change in diet and exercise would solve 95% of their problems.

Do you know that changing your thinking will alter your future?

Listen friends. My thinking is constantly being challenged. Just when I believe that I really understand something I find out that I don’t.

I could get mad, pitch a fit, and stay ignorant.

But why?

Why would I want to remain ignorant?

That is the most dangerous thing I can do because I will be held accountable by God for my knowledge and my ignorance! Now that’s a sobering thought.

I can hear God now.

“Audra, I’m so glad that you figured this one thing out, but what about this other area? Why did you refuse to learn? Why didn’t you listen?”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be standing speechless because I refused to open my eyes.

If I can leave you with one thought it’s this:

What would happen if you made a few changes? If the course of action seems a bit extreme now, will the end results be worth it?